Brides Helping Brides ™ - Please, I need your help girls.

BellaEyes Posted: Apr 06, 2006 03:35 PM

Please, I need your help girls.

Please tell me what the right thing to do as far as choosing the BM dresses? I thought it was ok for me to have the MOH come with me or just one other BM to try on the dress I am thinking of to see how it looks, make sure I have the other BM's measurements that day with me and if the BM dress looks good on whoever I bring with me, order them and then when the dresses come in, the place will have ALL the girls come in for their fittings based upon the measurements they gave me and work from there. Isn't this the way it usually works? Or do I bring ALL of the BM's with me the first time to pick the dress out. I will tell you why I am asking later.. I'm too frustrated and upset right now.. Thanks..I need much hugs here ladies.

FallBride05 Posted: Apr 06, 2006 03:36 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

I had a small bridal party and my MOH lives in Boston. She came in for a weekend and I took all the girls dress shopping. Once her dress came in, they shipped it to her in Boston and she had alterations done there.

SuzBride Posted: Apr 06, 2006 03:37 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

I found the best way was to go with a girl or two and try on the ones you are considering. Get a finalist or two that looks good on those girls - and then bring the rest of the girls to try on those two to make sure they are all comfortable/look good in them.

Good luck!

krispyc Posted: Apr 06, 2006 03:38 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

I'm not sure how others have done it but I brought in all of my BMs. I think it's a good idea for them to be measured by a professional. Plus when the dresses were ordered they had to make their down payment right then and there. I definitely didn't have the money to do that all myself.

Edit: This is when they decided on the dress.

I'm sorry you're so upset though. What happened?

MrsFelix Posted: Apr 06, 2006 03:38 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

I tool all my BM with me (4) plus the MOH. I took them all because they are ALL different shapes and sizes so I thought it was best to have them there. I chose three dresses and from the three dresses, I had them pick which one they liked best. It worked fine for me. HTH!!!!

debsey75 Posted: Apr 06, 2006 03:40 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

I took one BM (the only sane one) with me to try on and pick out a dress. Once we decided all the other girls met me at the salon one night and got measured and put a deposit down. This was the easiest way for me. I

TheBigDay Posted: Apr 06, 2006 03:42 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

usually your MOH or another available BM not the whole party.. you will not make everyone happy, they will all want something different... whether it be different styles/accents stuff/skirt length/shape...
and you dont want to take that road...

this is why i just did seperates.. www.alexiadesigns.com has a lot to choose from.. i just picked a color. they can get 2-piece or a dress dont care as long as it is floor length and the color.

ali120206 Posted: Apr 06, 2006 03:43 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

I brought two of my BMs with me, the two most different of the bunch, to pick out a dress. I'm having them all send me their measurements (which they are getting from professionals, just not at the same place I'm ordering from) and I will order them all together.

You don't have to order them on the same day you go looking! Your wedding is a week before mine and I'm ordering mine next month.

October Bliss Posted: Apr 06, 2006 03:51 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

I searched on the internet for dresses I liked. I then dragged my MOH out to try them on. The ones I liked on MOH, I emailed OOT BM's and told them to try on dresses and send back pics of them in the dresses with comments regarding whether they liked or disliked.

Then I picked the dress. I dragged MOH back to salon for measurements, harrassed OOT BM for daily for two weeks for measurements, and ordered the dress.

BellaEyes Posted: Apr 06, 2006 05:00 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

Here's why I asked. A lot of you are doing what I had initialy inquired about if you have OOT BM's. which three of mine are out of state. I believe it shoud l be done the way it caters to the brides needs, the easiest for me! Well, I found out today that from FH that when he visited his mother recently she and the grandmother had given him a major headache as far as questioning my BM dresses choices and inquiring if I will be having ALL of the BM's go with me the first time to pick out the dresses.. Then why don't they pick up a friggin phone and ASK me?! See, they never call the house, nor call me, They don't want this wedding to even HAPPEN. They are so controling and manipulative they have been all his life.

Anyway, then I hear from FH that his mother and Grandma said if I don't have their niece ( who I will not and have not included her as a junior BM for CERTAIN reasons) as my BM that neither the Aunt ( the girls mom) nor the Grandmother will come to our wedding! Then he asked his mom, well how about you, canI expect you there?!! he said she did not even answer, she just started off on another tangent about our wedding, etc. I mean WHO the heck are THEY to CHOOSE my dresses have a say in WHO I pick as MY Bridesmaids? UH NO I don't think so! The friggin nerve of them..

They were even saying things like well I hope she does not pick strapless or backless BM dresses! They say this b/c her daughter his half sister is very large. WELL, sorry to burst your bubble BUt you should have lost some weight a year ago when you were told the wedding date!! Or if she felt she was going to be self conscious, then she should have declined as a BM! So, this is the situation, they might not come to our wedding and this makes me sick to think of her doing this to her son.. not being there on his wedding day.. I mean this is just nuts! They have never been nice to be since day one so I am not surprised at this behavior really..
What should I do here girls, go on and try to be happy with my planning and screw em' or what? I will not have his cousin as a JBM.. NO WAY. I have my reasons there trust me!

UGHHHHH.. soo upset!!

ML110 Posted: Apr 06, 2006 05:16 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

that stinks!!! his mom and grandmom definitey have no say in what the BMs dresses look like- its not their wedding!
BUT, i do think that the girls should have a say in what they're going to wear. i don't like the idea of you going with one grl to pick out a dress, and then use the other girls measurements to order their dresses that day, without them trying it on or anything. they 're the ones paying for the dresses ( and your shower, and a lot of other things), they should definitely get a say in what they're wearing.
i would go with you MOH or one of the BMs, and narrow it down to 2 or three dresses. then, you can tell the OOT BMs the style numbers and designers of those dresses, and tehy can go to a local bridal shop and try them on and decide which one they all like the best
OR, you could jst pick a designer and a color, and let each girl pick the style they like the best.

BellaEyes Posted: Apr 06, 2006 05:48 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

well my MOH and my cousins are all in their 20-s to mid 30's. The other two are 18 and 16. Their parents will be buying their dresses. I just don' t this BS they are pulling on me at all! I can't stand them! UGH

mtdr1106 Posted: Apr 06, 2006 05:55 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

i went alone and picked out my BP dress and than told the BP about it.

i would think that you go w/ your MOH and pick one out. no sense in dragging the whole BP and getting a bunch of different opinions.

BellaEyes Posted: Apr 06, 2006 05:56 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

You know what?! SCREW EM if they don't wanna come to our wedding. We don't need people wishing us ill on our day, we want people there that will be wishing us WELL!

BellaEyes Posted: Apr 06, 2006 05:58 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

Yea, MTI agree. it should not be a whole long drawn out process! It's just this BS now about, his motherm grandmother and Aunt not coming if I don't appease them and have their niece in my bridal party.. I say... **** em! If they don't wanna come!

gigles319 Posted: Apr 06, 2006 07:44 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

i have 4 girls and we went and i told them you guys pick out a dress as long as it comes in brown, and they all loved one the best

FallBride05 Posted: Apr 06, 2006 08:22 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

I'm sorry you're FMIL and the grandmother are being this way. For some reason, weddings tend to bring out the worst in people when you would think it should bring out the BEST!!!

I know you said your BMs are from OOT. I thought I read another post where you indicated they were in NJ? I live in NJ and planned my wedding on Long Island and did most of my stuff on the Island, including the BM dresses. NJ is NOT far away!! My father lives all the way out in Pt. Jeff and it only takes us 1 hour and 20 minutes to get there. Why can't your NJ girls come to LI one Sat or Sun and do dress shopping.

I agree with the poster that the girls should have a say in their BM dresses, They have to wear them and be comfortable in them. I basically told the girls the color I wanted and let them take it from there.

BellaEyes Posted: Apr 06, 2006 11:04 PM

Re: Please, I need your help girls.

I have asked them to get back to me on a weekend that's best for them to do this. One of the girls from NJ works on Saturday and the other just moved into a new home so she's busy unpacking.. I guess I will try to get them to come here next weekend and I will ask the one that works, if she can somehow change her schedule.

I guess it would be fine if the styles are all different right? I mean as long as they're all the same color that I want..This way the heavier girl, will have a style that covers her most and so she'll feel comfortable.

Whew.. you are right Fall Bride.. some people I guess are just misearble and they want everyone else to be too. Thanks for your words of advice girls ...Much Hugs!!