Please read...really need advice SORRY it's long! Update: thank you at the bottom!

hi girls,
i'm pretty upset tonight. today was my first fitting. i bought my dress last october, and it finally came in and i got to visit it once a few weeks ago, but not a real fitting until today. i've been loosing weight for a while now. i've lost about 30 pounds since last summer. i guess you could say i have about 15 (or so) pounds left to lose and of course, i'd love to be pretty close to that goal by the time of my wedding.

i've never had a very good self-image, actually i've had a pretty terrible one... i was so nervous to get fitted today.

my dress (pic in album - the pic isn't me, it's just some model in the dress) is strapless and i've NEVER liked my upper body (arms, back fat, you name it..) well, i mean, they had to take it in two+ inches in the back, on the side and chest. i guess i know i should be so encouraged...but instead, all i focused on today was the remaining fat that seems to be everywhere. i simply couldn't see anything but the bad. and i'm so upset, i even cropped my photos so that all that's really visible is the dress, not even me in the pictures.

i'm so worried that in my wedding, i'll still just be the fat girl in a pretty dress. and what's worse, i've hired a small paparazzi to follow me around and document this event... i'm TOTALLY freaked right now. what if i really just look so crappy. why oh who did i pick a strapless dress... and how do you make the girl in the mirror look like the girl on the inside?

sorry so long, i'm just so bummed. i wished that today was so different. i hoped to have pictures that i'd be so happy to share with you all and instead, i'm just terrified of my next fitting and of the impending wedding... this SO s u x. i don't even know what kind of advice i need... but i really need to hear some thoughts, so if you have the time or can relate or whatever, i'd appreciate it more than you know. thanks.

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Posted by DWKSwed

Totally serious, you look skinny in the dress. If I didn't read your post I would have thought you were just another regular skinny girl out there, so you really have nothing to worry about. Your arms look good and your waist looks amazingly small so stop worrying and be proud of your hard work, it really shows!!!

I *hope* I'm where you are in a year!!

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i'm sorry i didn't mention but that pic of my dress isn't of me, it's just the only picture i could find on the internet of my dress. i don't have any other pictures of the dress yet. i totally wish that was me tho. you probably think i'm nuts after read my post and seeing that pic :o) sorry about that!

I think all women go through this. I feel the same way everyday of my life.I hate taking pictures of myself and I realzied last year I needed to change.I still need to lose alot, I went from a size 18-16 and now I am a 12 but I still fill like a cow!

The thing is that this dress is:

A. very slimming

B. they took IN 2 inches!!! , that is great and you should and eventually will be proud of this.

C. The dress is still not the right fit meaning it isnt your dress/perfect fit,which means the 'fat'? is not going in the right places.

When I was trying on dresses and I saw my pictures I looked like a cow, till I found the right dress that is very similar to your dress. You made a perfect choice! Also the model is super skinny size -0. I was so beyond annoyed that models in the wedding magazines were either super tall and skinny or very plus size. No in between.

dont worry you are doing great! I mean 2 inches is great and you should be

This might boost you to work harder, which what happend to me.

You still have plenty of time!

Haha well yea I was being very sensitive to the idea that maybe you had REALLY bad body image of yourself and still thought THAT picture was overweight lol.

Everyone is relative, losing that amount of weight has probably made a major difference in your body shape and you should be thrilled about that. Not every bride is a size 2, they don't need to be. The magazines and everything make us think that, but it just isn't true. Designers make samples in size 10 and size 18 for a reason! Nobody's body is perfect, you can tone the areas you are still insecure about over the next 7-8 weeks or so and be happy with where you are. Someday when you look back at your wedding pictures you'll be like 'wow I looked so good, why didn't I realize it then' like I hear every woman do. Try to realize it now! You don't need to change your whole self to get married, you will look beautiful regardless because you're the bride. There will ALWAYS be something you don't like about your body but just learn to embrace those things and let the wedding glow work for you!!

first. . I totally get what you feel like. . I used to be heavier and still sometimes feel like when I look in the mirror I can not see past what I want to look like, a ridiculous ideal but I also used to be skinnier and know that there is always a part of you that can be judgmental. . and I also just went to try on my dress and feel like I somehow ended up with a totally unflattering dress and almost cried. . like I am actually fairly okay with what I look like now but I chose a dress that did NOT flatter me. . I am trying to love it so I hear you. .

1. you are friggin beautiful. I don't know what you look like in your dress but the pic of you and FH in the rest or something. . you look great

2. one I hopeyou just feel beautiful on your day. . with being made up and such I think it will make a difference and when you don't, just go stare at your FH and watch and see how friggin hot and beautiful he thinks you are. . because you know he does!!!!

there is so much pressure to look a certain way. .

on and congrats on the weight loss!!

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Posted by meara

first. . I totally get what you feel like. . I used to be heavier and still sometimes feel like when I look in the mirror I can not see past what I want to look like, a ridiculous ideal but I also used to be skinnier and know that there is always a part of you that can be judgmental. . and I also just went to try on my dress and feel like I somehow ended up with a totally unflattering dress and almost cried. . like I am actually fairly okay with what I look like now but I chose a dress that did NOT flatter me. . I am trying to love it so I hear you. .

1. you are friggin beautiful. I don't know what you look like in your dress but the pic of you and FH in the rest or something. . you look great

2. one I hopeyou just feel beautiful on your day. . with being made up and such I think it will make a difference and when you don't, just go stare at your FH and watch and see how friggin hot and beautiful he thinks you are. . because you know he does!!!!

there is so much pressure to look a certain way. .

on and congrats on the weight loss!!

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thank you so much. i definitely have an inability to actually 'see' myself in the mirror. i totally relate. but thank you so much for the compliments too. that's so sweet of you. i'll definitely try to keep my mind on FH in case i don't feel as beautiful as i hope to :o)

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Posted by DWKSwed

Haha well yea I was being very sensitive to the idea that maybe you had REALLY bad body image of yourself and still thought THAT picture was overweight lol.

Everyone is relative, losing that amount of weight has probably made a major difference in your body shape and you should be thrilled about that. Not every bride is a size 2, they don't need to be. The magazines and everything make us think that, but it just isn't true. Designers make samples in size 10 and size 18 for a reason! Nobody's body is perfect, you can tone the areas you are still insecure about over the next 7-8 weeks or so and be happy with where you are. Someday when you look back at your wedding pictures you'll be like 'wow I looked so good, why didn't I realize it then' like I hear every woman do. Try to realize it now! You don't need to change your whole self to get married, you will look beautiful regardless because you're the bride. There will ALWAYS be something you don't like about your body but just learn to embrace those things and let the wedding glow work for you!!

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haha yeah, that would mean i have pretty serious body image problems. which of course i'm not making fun of or anything! you are right, i should be thrilled...it's pretty horrible that i don't. i'm sure some people would love to have lost weight and i shouldn't be taking it for granted, but unfortunately, it's not really something i can do to easily. i definitely need to work on being happy with where i'm at, instead of always looking for more... but you make really good points to think about. thanks so much !

I think you're being way too hard on yourself. Focus on the good! You lost so much weight already and you're still going strong! Your makeup trial looked beautiful, the hair styles in your album are amazing - you will look like a beautiful bride - who cares about your arms? Don't stress over this.

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Posted by lolalovesacroat

I think all women go through this. I feel the same way everyday of my life.I hate taking pictures of myself and I realzied last year I needed to change.I still need to lose alot, I went from a size 18-16 and now I am a 12 but I still fill like a cow!

The thing is that this dress is:

A. very slimming

B. they took IN 2 inches!!! , that is great and you should and eventually will be proud of this.

C. The dress is still not the right fit meaning it isnt your dress/perfect fit,which means the 'fat'? is not going in the right places.

When I was trying on dresses and I saw my pictures I looked like a cow, till I found the right dress that is very similar to your dress. You made a perfect choice! Also the model is super skinny size -0. I was so beyond annoyed that models in the wedding magazines were either super tall and skinny or very plus size. No in between.

dont worry you are doing great! I mean 2 inches is great and you should be

This might boost you to work harder, which what happend to me.

You still have plenty of time!

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you're so sweet! thanks so much!
it's definitely SO annoying to see super skinny models - in my dress no less, which is virtually an impossible standard. i mean i'm 5'10' and by no means a 'tiny' girl, even without the fat. you should feel amazing too! wow, that's awesome to go down that many sizes! congratulations on your hard work too!!! it isn't easy. what's harder is losing the mental image i think. losing weight is coming easier than the inability to really see myself or any changes. i know it's SO bad, but i really can't stop. however, thank you for your kind words! you're so sweet for taking the time to focus on the good and try to help me see the lighter side! thank you!

You sound JUST like ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think you need to find it within yourself to get passed those issues you have with yourself and start to focus on how far you have come already.

I know myself... and the truth is NO MATTER what I weigh (I could be the skinniest rail in the world) I will ALWAYS feel this way about myself. But at a certain point you HAVE to tell the voices in your head to SHUT THE F*CK UP!

With that being said... keep up the good work! Good Luck! If you need to ever talk feel free to FM me. As I have had a lifetime of experience in dealing with this kinda stuff.

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I think most of us have this image of what we 'should' look like when we get married. I always thought i would be in the best shape of my life and be like 100 pounds. Well- my wedding is next week and its not happening. I am okay with it. I lost some weight...like 6 or 7 pounds and I feel good. im not 100 pounds by any means but i am me and thats who FH loves.
I think we all have to keep in mind that our wedding is about marrying the man of our dreams and celebrating with everyone. You are beautiful and your FH is marrying you because you are beautiful, inside and out. Reward yourself for working so hard to lose what you already have. Thats a huge accomplishment. WOW! The next time you try on your dress, focus on what looks good....try to change your vision...it can happen. Best of luck to you!

First off, you are absolutely beautiful, and it's upsetting to hear you talk like that, but I definitely understand body image issues myself, so I know where you're coming from. Your dress is beautiful, and more importantly, you will look beautiful in it because you always look so happy in your pictures, so that will just radiate even more. Try to keep your head up...you should be very proud of what you have accomplished so far, and for what it's worth, I think you look great

ok im going to be as honest with u as i can...

i know we all want to look gorgeous on our wedding days...but we r not supermodels..if we were we would be on a catwalk in rome...i personally would ook more like the catwalk than the model ..beauty is soooooo much more than what we see in a mirror..i know i sound corny but have u ever et someone who was gorgeous then u talk to them n they become ugly becuase of how they act??

i want u to sit down and remeber why fh fell in love with u..of course he thinks u r beautiful but if he didnt love the inside even more trust me u would not be getting married..i know its hard to tell ur self u r beautiuful..and i say this as a girl with more rolls than a bakery..but every singe breathing bride is beautiful..they r beautiuful bcause they found love..and no extra 10 pounds can take that away...all u need to look beautiful on ur big day is a smile..thats it..

be proud of the weight u lost..u should be..and if u lose any more,great,if not no biggie..u will b a beautiful bridnomatter what because u will have married the man that u love

hope this helps and u feel better

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Posted by gina409

ok im going to be as honest with u as i can...

i know we all want to look gorgeous on our wedding days...but we r not supermodels..if we were we would be on a catwalk in rome...i personally would ook more like the catwalk than the model ..beauty is soooooo much more than what we see in a mirror..i know i sound corny but have u ever et someone who was gorgeous then u talk to them n they become ugly becuase of how they act??

i want u to sit down and remeber why fh fell in love with u..of course he thinks u r beautiful but if he didnt love the inside even more trust me u would not be getting married..i know its hard to tell ur self u r beautiuful..and i say this as a girl with more rolls than a bakery..but every singe breathing bride is beautiful..they r beautiuful bcause they found love..and no extra 10 pounds can take that away...all u need to look beautiful on ur big day is a smile..thats it..

be proud of the weight u lost..u should be..and if u lose any more,great,if not no biggie..u will b a beautiful bridnomatter what because u will have married the man that u love

hope this helps and u feel better

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Aww Gina! That was beautiful!!! and so true!! I think if all of the brides on here took the time to read what you wrote and really think about it, we would ALL feel a lot better about ourselves.. I know it worked for me so thank you!!!

can i just tell you, all you girls just touch my heart! i'm overwhelmed with how supportive and sweet you all are!! you all make such honest and true points - i really appreciate all of your advice and kind words. i really am taking all that each of you said to heart and feel so much better today.

thanks for helping me focus on the things i should and giving me a positive and happy perspective to look at all this from!

you're ALL the best!!

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Posted by MrsJuneB2B

can i just tell you, all you girls just touch my heart! i'm overwhelmed with how supportive and sweet you all are!! you all make such honest and true points - i really appreciate all of your advice and kind words. i really am taking all that each of you said to heart and feel so much better today.

thanks for helping me focus on the things i should and giving me a positive and happy perspective to look at all this from!

you're ALL the best!!

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