please take my rsvp poll

FH and I have been a bit upset because we always send either a gift or money if we can't go to a wedding. Out of the 15 rsvps that we have gotten 'no's' only 2 sent checks.

Don't get me wrong, we do not expect people to give us gifts if they cannot come but some of these people were close family members and we can't help but be a little insulted

Also, FH's family is from OOT. Perhaps it is a NY thing that people send gifts if they can't come?:

I don't think it's a NY thing. I think people know they should send a gift if they are not coming. Maybe they are waiting until after the wedding? I don't think I've ever sent my gift with the RSVP if I am saying no. How long have you had the no's?

I know when I responded 'no' to my friends daughters bat mitzvah, I did not include the check in the RSVP envelope. Instead, I went out and brought a card and sent that with the check a few weeks later.

Maybe that is what's going on? I've received a RSVP with a 'no' from one of my best friends who moved to Florida and she didn't send a check with her response either. I was in her bridal party and gave her and her husband a generous gift. Who knows with that too. I am not getting my hopes up to receive any gifts. I will just take it as it comes, I guess. it just tells you a lot about people. I like you would send a check if I can't attend a function.

I always have done the same thing and out of all my RSVP no's only one gave me a wedding card with the RSVP and a $100 GS from BB&B...no one else has

If I could not attend a wedding I always sent the RSVP by itself and then sent a gift a couple of weeks before the wedding...

I wasn't aware that people send gifts if they do not attend the wedding.

for our engagement party, my mothers sister didnt attend and sent nothing, yet my old boss sent $100.. so it's like hit or miss. i totally send gifts if i'm not attending a function.. i feel like it's common sense.. but i guess some people feel otherwise

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Posted by mlny83

for our engagement party, my mothers sister didnt attend and sent nothing, yet my old boss sent $100.. so it's like hit or miss. i totally send gifts if i'm not attending a function.. i feel like it's common sense.. but i guess some people feel otherwise

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We got gifts from some of our 'nos' but most did not send a gift.

Its not really common sense, its a nice gesture that some guests will do.
I dont send a gift if I RSVP unless its a close family member or friend. But thats me

Yes it seems to be the new thing, if people cant come they send gifts and or a check, with us it was about 50/50. The got us gifts off our registry which was cool.. Hey dont get upset, you still have a bit of time until your wedding, most of them will send you a check or gift right before or after your wedding, so hang tight, Im sure they will come, take it from a current past June 8th bride, but yes some people do surprise you and its sad......Good Luck and dont them or anyone spoil anything for ya, you have so much to look forward to!!
Good Luck
Kristy

I see your wedding isn't until September. SOme people might mail a gift closer to the wedding date. Only a few of my no's included gifts in the rsvp card. Many others mailed a separate card later. I know personally if I don't go to a wedding and I am close with the person I would send a card and a gift around the wedding date.

We also didn't receive gifts from some people that said no. Remeber it is not about who sends gifts and who doesn't - it is about you getting married to the love of your life. Enjoy your day !!!!!!!

that's a great question. So far we received 11 no's & 2 checks.
I didn't really expect anything from anyone. I really didn't realize that's what youre supposed to do if you're not attending so maybe other people don't know.

I've never even HEARD of people sending a check in the RSVP...

I definitely do not expect those who don't attend to send a gift, and those who do so I wouldn't expect to receive it until later... not with the RSVP. That just seems kind of odd to me, for some reason...

I don't have all my RSVPs in yet, but out of the no's, there haven't been any checks included. I kind of assumed that if a gift was coming (which again, I don't expect), it would come closer to the wedding.

my family and I always send the check with the RSVP if we dont get a gift off of the registry

i may not give the same amount as if i attend; but i always give a gift

if i was included and thought of to be invited, i think it is the right thing to do

i didn't always but i try to when i can.. it may not be as much as if i had attended.. no it def wont be as much but i try to send something..