ok here is the scenario. My guest list is at like 230. I need to shave it down to about 150-180. Im greek and this guest list is my huge greek family, as in I am barely inviting friends or anyone other than family. This means I have absolutely no room for plus ones in my guest list. Well, my horrid FSIL (who we all know about that is in my bridal party and making my life a nightmare) mentioned the other night that she hopes she is dating someone by the time of the wedding because she wants to bring a guest. The way I see it, that was extremely rude and assuming of her to mention. I avoided the comment by changing the subject but how can i nicely in the future state that there are no plus ones allowed for single guests. I understand that most people want to bring a guest but unfortunately with the amount of family on my guest list I cannot do it. What to do?? and am I right for getting upset about how she said this? if it were me I would not have asked a bride that. I always feel like nobody ever asks me what I feel or want. They just assume they can run the show themselves and get what they want. please girls make me feel better about this situation.
Jen84
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Re: Plus Ones
i had the same situation... huge greek family and whatnot, my list was close to 300 and we had 250 people who ended up coming to the wedding... there was no way i was inviting everyone with a guest because i didn't want to have random people at my wedding... i invited people with guests who were in serious relationships or were engaged, i also invited people with a guest if i knew that they didnt know anyone else (and that was only about 2 or 3 people anyway)... if i knew that i could put a table of single people who knew each other together, i felt like why should they bring a guest? ultimately, you have to do what works for you... i think that you'll just have to tell her that ultimately it's in the numbers and you just can't do it... and isn't her family going to be there anyway? it's not like she won't have anyone to hang out with... it's a sticky situation cause i had a couple issues with that as well but if you can't do it, you can't do it
Jmrosa1
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Re: Plus Ones
I think how you put it in your post was just fine! At this time we unfortunatley do not have room for plus 1's due to the amount of family that we need to invite. And financially you can not afford it.
leelou48
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Re: Plus Ones
It's understandable for you to be weirded out, that was a very presumptious (spelling?) comment to make. I think you just have to attribute that to not being involved in the wedding scene. Some people that aren't in this situation don't realize how much really goes into a wedding and make ignorant comments.
I think what the others said is true. If they are not seriously dating someone (my friends usually do 6 months or more) and know people at the wedding, then you definitely do not have to invite them with guest.
It's your wallet, your say!
kimmy02
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Re: Plus Ones
its tough, but certain things i had to be firm on.. this was one of them.
if they were not in a serious/engaged/living with relationship, sorry. when we got some cancellations, we would then verbally tell the person that they can invite a guest, but it wasnt assumed and def not until ppl responded no...
i agree with everyone, its your wedding and your money. we didnt have kids at our sat night event, only family members 18 yrs or older... BUT if we did - between kids and plus ones... it could get a lil crazy!!! our final was 205, it would of been too too much with everyone...
ppl got mad and whatever, but thats just what it is... whatever. you are NOT going to please everyone!!!
FutureMrsGTL
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Re: Plus Ones
I made a rule that I was not giving a plus one to anyone who is not in a 'serious' relationship. I explained this nonchalantly at family dinners so those who are not in relationships know that they will NOT be getting & guest.
Also...I decided to define 'serious' by dating at least 6 months, living together, engaged and obvi married.
I know I have offended a lot of people with this.. but I personally do not want people bringing their flavor of the week with them to my wedding and looking back at pics like who is that? lol and its also a money issue too.
pixietina
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Re: Plus Ones
You should explain the situation like how you told us. It is a big expense to have a wedding. Especially since you have a large family. Hope it works out.
pjc92980
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Re: Plus Ones
i am on your side 10000%...there is no need for her to get a plus one. We are in the same situation and didnt invite anyone with a plus one. if they were in a relationship, living together, engaged or married they got an invite with the names specifically spelled out. We did however get a call from our GM...saying he was upset that he didnt get a plus one. He has been dating someone on and off again for 4 years and she knows everyone so we said he could bring someone. We then decided to extend the courtesy to all of the bridal party to bring a guest...so far he is the only one that wants to bring someone...all the others understand they will be busy that day and dont want to have to babysit a date. to make matters worse though, the guy we said could bring a date then told FH he has one of two girls he wants to take...so its not going to be the on again off again gf
blondybride
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Re: Plus Ones
I know, it's like I want to say to her face 'don't u think u will be busy being my bridesmaid and helping me out' haha not I could never say that or else I would be the devil lol
