Possible BM said no........

Moosey911 Posted: Oct 17, 2004 07:56 PM

Possible BM said no........

So, I asked one of my very good friends (really my closest friend--locally) to be one of my BM's and her husband to be a GM......but they graciously declined the offer. They are in the process of buying a new house and we knew, when we asked them, that the possibilty existed of them saying 'no' (due to financial constraints).....so, it's not as if we were caught completely off guard and were surprised......anyway, my questions are....

Can/should I still include her in a lot of my planning and ask her for advice without her feeling awkward or weird?

Have any of you had to decline before (for whatever reason) and felt strange about helping plan things and going out with the bride to shop for things?

Happybride2005 Posted: Oct 17, 2004 07:58 PM

Re: Possible BM said no........

I think she would be happy to help you.

February05 Posted: Oct 17, 2004 08:01 PM

Re: Possible BM said no........

maybe you could ask ehr to do a reading? then see how interested she seems in it. With buying a house though, she may also not have the time to dedicate to it

but maybe by doing a reading, or another 'role' in the wedding that doesnt require money, you could still have them involved in your special day?

David'sbride Posted: Oct 17, 2004 08:02 PM

Re: Possible BM said no........

I have had to decline due to taking care of a sick parent. I know I couldn't make the full commitment of time and wanted to be upfront about it. When I explained the bride said, 'oh, but you'll do what you can'. I didn't know her other BM well and didn't want them to think I was shirking my responsibilities. I helped where I could.

princess5 Posted: Oct 17, 2004 08:34 PM

Re: Possible BM said no........

i would ask her only things that i know she could help me with, such as which venders she used and if they are any good. maybe i wouldn't include her in all of your plans. it was nice that she declined in a nice way..but were you in her wedding???? (because then it could be mean!) but at least she's not being a part of something that she can't fully commit to and thats a good thing so that later on you are not having problems with her.

she is still your friend and just appreciate her friendship!

Moosey911 Posted: Oct 17, 2004 08:46 PM

Re: Possible BM said no........

No, I wasn't in her wedding, they had a very small BP (two sisters and two brothers).......

I will ALWAYS value her friendship, no matter what....just don't want to make her uncomfortable. From the responses, I think she'll be happy to help out in any way she can and she'll probably enjoy it.

Thanks Ladies!!!

Dooodles Posted: Oct 17, 2004 09:18 PM

Re: Possible BM said no........

Since we are not having a traditional bridal party, I have asked 2 women whom FI and both love dearly to each do a reading during our ceremony. I feel it is the closest thing to having them in the actual BP

DebMaher Posted: Oct 17, 2004 09:20 PM

Re: Possible BM said no........

I love the idea of having her be a reader. I am of the school that she is a better friend for being candid up front and I bet would love to participate in a non-time commital, non-money-commital way!