Possible scheduling conflict with BM...I'm upset!

Ok, so I've been friends with one of my BM's and her husband for almost 10 years (we met in college). She called me a couple of weeks ago to tell me that another friend of ours from college (her husband's best friend) got engaged and they were planning a fall wedding. She gave him heads up that my wedding is 10/31 on LI and she was in the BP, yadda, yadda, yadda......anyway, she calls last night all upset that they set their date for 10/30!!! The night before my wedding! And her husband will probably be the best man! She is SO angry at our other friend, not that he was supposed to plan his wedding around mine but when she reminded him that my wedding was the very next day, his response was 'oh, well, the good thing is we're probably getting married on LI so you'll already be there'. What an idiot! He didn't take into consideration our rehearsals and rehearsal dinners. I'm upset over this because I don't want either one of them to miss his rehearsal or mine and I don't want my BM to be worn out for my wedding because she was running the day before with the other wedding. I feel so selfish, but this guy knows me and knows how close I am to my BM and her husband.

Do you think it's too early for the church to tell me when rehearsal can be? I feel like I need to nail that date down ASAP to 'claim' it and my friends..... I never thought this would be something I'd even have to consider.

Thanks for letting me vent!

It's all up to your BM. She already committed to be in your wedding...not that it's going to be easy, but I think she can swing it. Maybe you can ask her if there is anything you can do to help make it easier for her? My main thing is, FINANCIALLY that is going to be tough on her. Scheduling....hopefully the other bride will be considerate enough to NOT schedule the Rehearsal dinner the same night as yours. Don't worry. It will all work out.
Just be patient and try to find out if you can schedule your rehearsal dinner soon.
Hope this helps!

That was very wrong of the other couple. If I knew our BM was committed to be in a wedding I wouldn't set my date for the NEXT day. It's not a matter of them having to plan their wedding around yours, it has to do with accepting the fact that people have other commitments and if they are key members in your wedding, you have to take that in account. What jerks. And you are not selfish.

The church probably won't let you schedule your rehearsal this early but if I were you, I would contact them anyway so they can make a note of the fact that you may need your rehearsal to be earlier than the day before your wedding. I personally never liked the idea of having the rehearsal dinner the day before anyway.

Good luck to you!!

Jimmysbride is right....insteadof having your rehearsal the day before, why not have it a day or 2 earlier? This way, the day before you can RELAX....maybe spend some 'quality time' with your FIANCE before he becomes your HUBBY!


PS: it IS selfish of that other bride. Obviously, she is not taking your wedding into consideration at ALL. Shame on her!

Two of my friends were supposed to get married the same weekend, and I was so worried. I was already committed to being a Maid of Honor for one, and the other wanted me to be a BM, but I had to say no. Then the second one had to change her wedding date due to her (now) DH's brother's HS Graduation. So I was then able to attend both, and was eventually asked again to be a BM, a situation that led to me squeezing (rather nicely) into a size 12 dress.

It might work out, I'll keep 'em crossed for you!

hi janine
why dont you have the rehearsal on thursday instead - that is what we are doing - turns out mpi booked a wedding early friday and our rehearsal had to be bumped - it ireally will be ok and isnt the end of the world ( took me about a week to realize that)
as far as the other couple goes i think they could have picked a different day knowing that the best man would be attending another wedding the next day - i think it was inconsiderate of them to not take that into consideration
but at this point there isnt anything you can do about it - so talk to your bm and ask her what she would need - call the church and see if they can do it on thursday- it is never too early - i asked about rehearsal when i origionally booked - didnt want to leave anything to chance
if you need to stress give me a call - i am leaving for upstate in about an hour so i wont be on for 2 days
be well and talk soon

I dont' think it was wrong of the other couple to plan their wedding a day ahead of yours.
They might not have been able to schedule it at any other time. You don't know that. I'm sorry it conflicts a bit with your wedding but right now, there's nothing you can do.

Perhaps you can call the bride and explain the situation and ask if you two can work out a schedule with the rehursals (sounds nicer than saying 'can you schedule your rehursal around mine' even though that's really what you want and should get, considering you planned your wedding first) and perhaps she can have her rehursal 2 days before her wedding and you can have your rehursal the night before her wedding. That way your friends can attend both rehursals.

If that's not possible, your friends are going to have to decide what to do themselves. But yes, call your Church now, maybe they will be able to book the rehursal now. If not ask what is the earliest available time you can book. Then book your dinner and let your BM know.
Maybe you can book it a week before (if all your wedding party is available)? I think that is a good idea, that way you are not bloated from eating and drinking the night before your wedding!

I wouldn't be too upset about the other wedding. It sucks but some things can't be avoided. And your friends will have to work around it. At least they know that it's a pain and are not acting non-chalant about the fact that it's a tight schedule. Good luck!!