Pre-Cana

NovBride Posted: May 07, 2003 11:16 PM

Pre-Cana

Anyone else going to in house pre-cana sessions? We started this week and it was just strange. The couples are nice, but we are all so different. Since we have only been ttogether for a year a lot of the things that were discussed this week about communication and fighting really didn't apply. How did everyone else feel?

pschica Posted: May 07, 2003 11:21 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

we are going to the one day but i know my parent ssued to do pre cana years ago at our church -beofre thye deicde to get rid of the program - i think it might be whomever you get as your 'teachers'!

kaangel217 Posted: May 07, 2003 11:22 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

We start ours in the fall. We do have to take someting called FOCCUS before our Pre-Cana. I heard its almost like a compatibilty test. I didn't tell FH what it is exactly we go next Tues.

NovBride Posted: May 07, 2003 11:26 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

I've hear about that...we didn't get a test. We just filled out the application together with our Deacon. He is so nice. So is everyone else. I guess spending our first two hours in a complete strangers home talking about personal things was just a little weird.

dino1109 Posted: May 07, 2003 11:30 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

We wont be doing ours until the start of 04. I kinda feel like it will be a waste of time because we have been together for 5 1/2 years and lived together for 3 1/2 years. I feel like we have been through anything they will attempt to teach us! but its a requirement so will will jsut have to grin and bear it! i mean

smooch Posted: May 08, 2003 09:05 AM

Re: Pre-Cana

We did both FOCCUS and PreCana. FOCCUS is a 100 or 50 question 'survey' that presents situations and you say how you'd react. It's multiple choice. We did that one night at the deacon's house. We went back the next week and went over the survey with them. They pointed out where we had different answers, and we talked about it. It was harmless I think.

We did PreCana I think over 4 or so weeks at the house of one of the couples. There were 3 married couples, and 3 engaged couples. They had an agenda they had to follow but essentially we talked about ideals, goals, religion, and sex.

I am NOT religious at all and was dreading both events, but they weren't so bad at all. I just didn't let on that I am not religious bc I didn't know if anyone would try to convince me to be. But other than that, it was fine. I actually enjoyed it.

HappyEverAfter Posted: May 08, 2003 11:23 AM

Re: Pre-Cana

We started pre-cana this week too, and it was not as bad as I thought it would be. They asked us to write why we wanted to marry each other, and FH wrote something so sweet and actually read it aloud. I almost cried We have been together over 7 years, so I thought that a lot of the stuff would not apply to us, but we talked about communication last night and it was really interesting. Its not often that my FH will actually sit down and talk about our relationship, so it has been good for us so far. We are doing in home, with 2 facilitator couples and three other engaged couples.

Betty Posted: May 08, 2003 11:25 AM

Re: Pre-Cana

We did it in house for 6 weeks with 5 couples. I enjoyed it. It made us talk about things we normally wouldn't talk about. FH complained all the way but in the end he also thinks it was a good thing.

kelly6273 Posted: May 08, 2003 11:28 AM

Re: Pre-Cana

We did the crash course. Two days (a Saturday and Sunday) at Kellenberg High School. It wasn't as bad as we expected...just very long (I normally can't sit through a movie).

chmpgnrose Posted: May 08, 2003 11:29 AM

Re: Pre-Cana

We went to ours, it was 2 full days, non-overnight with the Arch Dioese of Rockville. It was strange but comfortable to be surrounded with other engaged couples like ourselves. It was long but worth the trouble as we understand each other.

MrsTC Posted: May 08, 2003 11:33 AM

Re: Pre-Cana

We are going to a 1 day Saturday pre cana on 7/19! Now I am thinking will that be enough?? This is through the diocese of Brooklyn - maybe it's different.

Also, we live together and I am not sure if I should say so or not

smooch Posted: May 08, 2003 12:31 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

I wouldn't suggest that you offer that you and FH live together. FH and I didn't at that time, but I'm pretty sure one of the couples did, though they never said it.

I don't think they will make a big stink about it. You won't be kicked out of pre-cana for living together, but I wouldn't offer that info because technically you really aren't 'supposed' to be, but some rules are so archaic.

Nav023 Posted: May 08, 2003 02:58 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

I've seen this mentioned a few times. What is Pre-Cana?

CherylBooch Posted: May 08, 2003 03:05 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

Nav...
Pre-Cana is a Christian program that is given through the church to 'prepare' you for marriage. It's a program where you talk about your relationship, your faith, sex..... and it's held a few different ways... at the church, at people's homes...
It's not the most exciting thing when you're getting married

Nav023 Posted: May 08, 2003 04:30 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

Thanks Cheryl. Something else to add to the list!!!

WeezieNY Posted: May 08, 2003 04:32 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

We really enjoyed our pre cana couple and the whole group. We got along real well. The head couple were great. I guess its the luck of the draw.

smooch Posted: May 08, 2003 07:03 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

Nav023, don't worry about adding it to your list. If you are getting married in a Catholic church, they won't let you marry w/o it. They'll let you know!

p&a91203 Posted: May 08, 2003 07:14 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

We will be doing the in-house pre-cana sessions. Haven't started them yet though. We actually have our first orientation this Sunday night...should be interesting!

Chelley Posted: May 08, 2003 08:07 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

Our Pre-Cana starts in September although I have gone before in a prior engagement. I don't know if it's good to post but....Pre-Cana is the reason I didn't marry the 'other' guy. Thank God. and thanks Pre-Cana!

spel Posted: May 08, 2003 10:23 PM

Re: Pre-Cana

we did the in-house 4 week precana as well as the FOCCUS test. i am somewhat religious but FH practices no religion at all & he was dreading it. honestly, it was a bit bizarre talking about your relationship in front of strangers (but an old friend from HS was in our group! how weird!) but overall it really wasn't bad. honestly. it was long & inconvenient but we actually got something out of going. we live together & mentioned it a few times, i believe. nobody snickered, or commented, or even cared. try to go in with an open mind. they bring up a lot of really important issues for you to discuss with FH (if you haven't already).