Precana - Foccus

But isn't it worse to lie? I don't get it...

My personal opinion is that they'll want the money and will marry us anyway...

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Posted by jenn122397

when we booked the church we were asked questions like will we raise our children catholic and things like that so they could marry us. The church is about more than $$

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yes the priest ask me and fh these questions when we went for the interview. we asked what happens if we said no (out of curiosity, since we do plan on raising our children catholic) he said then he wouldn't be able to marry us.

Why not just get married at a RH (who really are all about the $) and you won't have to worry about lying. I guess I don't see why you would want to get married in the church if you don't practice the religion or believe in what it teaches.

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Posted by carlsbride

Why not just get married at a RH (who really are all about the $) and you won't have to worry about lying. I guess I don't see why you would want to get married in the church if you don't practice the religion or believe in what it teaches.

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good point.

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Posted by MrsBartonToBe

dont be worried about it! we took the exam, got the chart results and the couple talked to us about what we needed to improve in our relationship and that was it! They gave us a slip and said- youre ready for pre-cana! the church knows nothing about ur answers on the test

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That's what they told us but wasn't sure if it was completely true...

To be completely, honest - I am getting married at a church b/c my family wants it that way and b/c it's pretty. Getting married at the RH isn't as dramatic as getting married at a church - i'm doing it for effect and to please family... That will probably get some people mad - but i'm not the only one.

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Posted by ntunison

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Posted by MrsBartonToBe

dont be worried about it! we took the exam, got the chart results and the couple talked to us about what we needed to improve in our relationship and that was it! They gave us a slip and said- youre ready for pre-cana! the church knows nothing about ur answers on the test

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That's what they told us but wasn't sure if it was completely true...

To be completely, honest - I am getting married at a church b/c my family wants it that way and b/c it's pretty. Getting married at the RH isn't as dramatic as getting married at a church - i'm doing it for effect and to please family... That will probably get some people mad - but i'm not the only one.

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To each his own girl... as long as YOU and FH know why youre getting married thats all that matters. I'm getting married in church and we both want to have the church in our lives through marriage and kids, but that is for US to decide. Not my family or his...

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Posted by MrsBartonToBe

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Posted by ntunison

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Posted by MrsBartonToBe

dont be worried about it! we took the exam, got the chart results and the couple talked to us about what we needed to improve in our relationship and that was it! They gave us a slip and said- youre ready for pre-cana! the church knows nothing about ur answers on the test

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That's what they told us but wasn't sure if it was completely true...

To be completely, honest - I am getting married at a church b/c my family wants it that way and b/c it's pretty. Getting married at the RH isn't as dramatic as getting married at a church - i'm doing it for effect and to please family... That will probably get some people mad - but i'm not the only one.

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To each his own girl... as long as YOU and FH know why youre getting married thats all that matters. I'm getting married in church and we both want to have the church in our lives through marriage and kids, but that is for US to decide. Not my family or his...

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Absolutely. I think it's a personal choice. I always imagined myself getting married in a church since I was a little girl, as I've grown up I don't believe in Catholic teachings but I do believe in God. We are getting married b/c we want to - the place where we get maried is second. If they tell us we can't be married there, we'll still be married. But like I said before, all of my experience with the church has been about money - otherwise, why would they charge $1000 to have your wedding there?!

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Posted by MrsBartonToBe

dont be worried about it! we took the exam, got the chart results and the couple talked to us about what we needed to improve in our relationship and that was it! They gave us a slip and said- youre ready for pre-cana! the church knows nothing about ur answers on the test

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That's weird because we have a meeting with the priest to go over certain areas of our FOCCUS test results. The priest will choose one or two 'sections' or types of questions that we do not see eye to eye on and will discuss it with us and we're supposed to choose one or two that we'd like to go over. This to me says that they do see the results.

And if you do not agree to raise your children Catholic, I know of no priest that would marry you. Now, whether or not they will see this from your answers, I don't know, but since they're so adament about this, I imagine that if you put NO on your test, it might be a red flagged type of item. Again, I don't know for sure, but I would imagine.

Also, why worry that they won't marry you? If you are just doing it for family and then they won't marry you, then you can have the wedding you want. Personally I feel that if you don't practice at all then there's no reason to get married in the church and it sounds like you don't want to either - so your answers of NO may have given you a ticket out.

THey cannot refuse to marry you!!!
When we met with the priest we told him we werent practicing, I mean granted we intend on raising our children in the church but we hadnt been to church etc. in years
No problem. It shouldnt be a problem b/c what if you find out you cant have children anyways? Or you dont want children? I dont thin kyou have anything to worry about

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Posted by PegaLega

THey cannot refuse to marry you!!!
When we met with the priest we told him we werent practicing, I mean granted we intend on raising our children in the church but we hadnt been to church etc. in years
No problem. It shouldnt be a problem b/c what if you find out you cant have children anyways? Or you dont want children? I dont thin kyou have anything to worry about

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Actually, they can refuse to marry you. You have to obide by some guidelines..for example you can't get married in the Catholic Church if you aren't Catholic...you know what I mean? There are guidelines and they do not have to marry you if they feel that you are not going to obide by Church guidlines, IMO it makes sense. However, I am sure that each church and priest is different...they will probably want to counsel you...good luck!

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Posted by daniebc16

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Posted by PegaLega

THey cannot refuse to marry you!!!
When we met with the priest we told him we werent practicing, I mean granted we intend on raising our children in the church but we hadnt been to church etc. in years
No problem. It shouldnt be a problem b/c what if you find out you cant have children anyways? Or you dont want children? I dont thin kyou have anything to worry about

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Actually, they can refuse to marry you. You have to obide by some guidelines..for example you can't get married in the Catholic Church if you aren't Catholic...you know what I mean? There are guidelines and they do not have to marry you if they feel that you are not going to obide by Church guidlines, IMO it makes sense. However, I am sure that each church and priest is different...they will probably want to counsel you...good luck!

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Yes, they actually can absolutely refuse to marry you - but this is dependent on how lenient or strict the particular pastor (head priest) is of your church. And also, the Catholic church teaches that sex is for procreation and wants you to have children, so if you say you don't want children at all, that would be an issue (if you find out later you can't have children, that's not the same as saying you don't want them at all). Again, how big of an issue it is depends on the strictness of the priest.

The Church will not marry you if you answered that you won't raise your children catholic. However, I'm assuming you'd have a chance to talk it over when your meeting to go over results will. The church is more about money in there eyes.

We just had our foccus last night. They do go over all the sections with you...they focus on the ones you both differed from and they also go over the ones marked w/ a check mark next to it.

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

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Posted by daniebc16

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Posted by PegaLega

THey cannot refuse to marry you!!!
When we met with the priest we told him we werent practicing, I mean granted we intend on raising our children in the church but we hadnt been to church etc. in years
No problem. It shouldnt be a problem b/c what if you find out you cant have children anyways? Or you dont want children? I dont thin kyou have anything to worry about

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Actually, they can refuse to marry you. You have to obide by some guidelines..for example you can't get married in the Catholic Church if you aren't Catholic...you know what I mean? There are guidelines and they do not have to marry you if they feel that you are not going to obide by Church guidlines, IMO it makes sense. However, I am sure that each church and priest is different...they will probably want to counsel you...good luck!

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Yes, they actually can absolutely refuse to marry you - but this is dependent on how lenient or strict the particular pastor (head priest) is of your church. And also, the Catholic church teaches that sex is for procreation and wants you to have children, so if you say you don't want children at all, that would be an issue (if you find out later you can't have children, that's not the same as saying you don't want them at all). Again, how big of an issue it is depends on the strictness of the priest.

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from what I was told by my preist when we met with him and asked about it-i could be wrong about other churches. But ours told us that they will not refuse to marry you just b/c you do not 'intend' on raising you children in the church, b/c you wanting to get married in the church means that you still want to complete your sacrament in the churches eyes. this is what they told us, but you are right it could depend on the church

My Church tolds us that we need to answer the questions honestly and we did. You are not wrong for doing it either...However, they can make a decision not to marry you based on what you wrote...