I have a problem. I have 7 BM's right now. I was going to order the dresses today, but one of the BM's wont tell me the size to order. I found out that her and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for a while and she might be pregnant for the wedding. She is not pregnant yet, but if she does get pregnant in the next month or so she will be huge for the wedding. But if she doesnt get pregnant for a while it wont matter. She is small so she would need a size 6 or 8. What do I do? Do we order her a 10 or something or do you think that I should ask her if she still wants to be in the bridal party. Help!!!
KimberlyBride
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Re: Pregnant BM-Please Help!!!
Hi Elana! I would ask her if she would rather not be in the bridal party to get rid of unnecessary stress. Maybe you can ask her to be a reader at the church so she is still a special part of the ceremony. I have heard that you need to order the dresses all at the same time because the fabric is cut from the same dye lot. If you order one later the color of fabric might not be exact.
Kim
bluetank
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Re: Pregnant BM-Please Help!!!
Kim, exactly. It is FH's sister so it is a big deal. I dont want her to feel obligated to be in it but if it is too stressful then i wouldnt want to add that stress to her situation. But if she doesnt get pregnant then what?
Backinneyork
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Re: Pregnant BM-Please Help!!!
I would ask her if she still wants to be in it and then look for maternity dresses. David's Bridal has some. You have no idea how much she might be showing, so ordering a bigger size might not solve your problem. You may also want to ask the store where you are getting your dresses from what to do in this situation - I am sure they have had similar situations.
JimmysBride
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Re: Pregnant BM-Please Help!!!
I had a BM get pregnant just before we ordered the dresses. We decided that it would be better if she not be in the wedding party since we had no way of knowing what size to get her. I also suggest asking the shop where you are ordering your gowns from. I asked mine and they basically just said you can try ordering the biggest size you can. That was not much help. The gown is still not cut for maternity so the alterations would have killed her $$$$ wise.
I suggest you speak to her and ask her what she wants to do. And also think about what YOU want for your own sanity. You could postpone ordering the BM gowns for another 2 or 3 months, see if she gets pregnant then you will at least know how many months she will be. If you wait that long and she hasn't gotten pregnant, you can go ahead and order because at that point, even if she does get pregnant, she won't be as far along by the time of the wedding.
Those are your options as I see them. Now here is my opinion. My opinion is that you should consider not having her in the BP because of the stress this is going to cause you. You can't very well expect her to put off trying to get pregnant or even ask her that and if she doesn't offer it up, well, then the odds are in her favor to get pregnant.
Laura1976
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Re: Pregnant BM-Please Help!!!
Ask your bridal salon!!!!! i'm sure they've run into this problem a million times over. They will know exactly what size to order, or what style will be able to be adjusted the best. She may be trying to get pregnant, but what if she doesn't? Then she will have stepped down from being a bridesmaid for no reason. It's a delicate situation, you have to be careful not to ruin your relationship with her.
luckybride2004
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Re: Pregnant BM-Please Help!!!
I'm not sure I understand. Is the question of what to do about her being in the bridal party or about the dress? If it is about the dress then you have a few options. Number 1 is wait a few more weeks to order her dress. If she doesn't want to tell anyone yet then she can go to the store to order it herself. Also, so many designers are now making maternity that are just as nice as non-maternity. If the questions is about her being in the bridal party, I'm really not sure why that would even be an issue. Does it really matter if she is preggo? This is FH's sister! Almost every wedding I have been to in the past few years have had a preggo BM.
bluetank
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Re: Pregnant BM-Please Help!!!
See this is the problem. She is not preganant yet. They have been trying for a while and they are having problems. That is the first stressful part. So its not like i can say she is preganant and she will be 8 months by the time the wedding is here and order her a dress that would fit that size. She can get pregnant tomorrow or she might not get pregnant for 6 months. That is my problem because i know she is upset already that they are having problems so i dont want to add to the stress. I want her in the bridal party pregnant or not that doesnt matter to me but i dont know how she feels about that. I dont want people to think that i am not having her in the bridal party for that reason.
septbride
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Re: Pregnant BM-Please Help!!!
I would just ask to take part in another way for the wedding to take out the guess work. Maybe ask her to do a reading or or read a poem during the ceremony.
1017Bride
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Re: Pregnant BM-Please Help!!!
I have two pregnant BMs and one of them told me after we ordered the dresses. I would talk to the bridal shop and ask them how much time you have to order the dresses (if you need to wait longer). In addition, we actually ordered extra fabric to make the dresses bigger. You can do that too but I would talk to your FSIL and ask her what she wants you to do.
May05Bride
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Re: Pregnant BM-Please Help!!!
If she is your FH sister, she doesn't have to be a BM to walk down the isle. She can just walk down the isle with her husband and than sit down. That way, she can get any dress she wants, and much closer to the wedding when she'll know. ... and you can order your BM dresses now.
