Prego jokes...
I'm sorry if these are repeats, I haven't been able to visit the boards as much as I used to (work has been keeping me extremely busy...I guess they are trying to get all the work they can out of me while I'm still around) but I thought this was cute.
ASK THE DOCTOR:
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, ''My husband wants me to ask you...
To which the doctor replies, ''I know, I know,'' placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ''I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.''
''No, that's not it,'' the woman confessed. ''He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.''
MR. PHILLARD:
One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard's idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But when Mr. Phillard saw the blood and everything else, he fainted. When Mr. Phillard woke up he was in a bed with the doctor standing above him.
'Mr. Phillard,' the doctor said, 'you are in the recovery room. Don't worry, your wife is fine and she had twins, a boy and a girl. Because you were unconscious and your wife was still under anaesthesia, she requested that your brother Bill name the kids.'
'What! My brother, the idiot! I can't believe you let him! What did he name them?'
'He named your daughter Denise.'
'Hey, not bad! I underestimated my brother. What did he name my son?'
'He named your son Denephew.'
THE HUSBAND:
A man called the doctor and said frantically into the phone: 'My wife is in labor and her contractions are only two minutes apart!'
'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked.
'No, you idiot!' the man shouted. 'This is her husband!'
ASK THE DOCTOR:
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, ''My husband wants me to ask you...
To which the doctor replies, ''I know, I know,'' placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ''I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.''
''No, that's not it,'' the woman confessed. ''He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.''
MR. PHILLARD:
One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard's idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But when Mr. Phillard saw the blood and everything else, he fainted. When Mr. Phillard woke up he was in a bed with the doctor standing above him.
'Mr. Phillard,' the doctor said, 'you are in the recovery room. Don't worry, your wife is fine and she had twins, a boy and a girl. Because you were unconscious and your wife was still under anaesthesia, she requested that your brother Bill name the kids.'
'What! My brother, the idiot! I can't believe you let him! What did he name them?'
'He named your daughter Denise.'
'Hey, not bad! I underestimated my brother. What did he name my son?'
'He named your son Denephew.'
THE HUSBAND:
A man called the doctor and said frantically into the phone: 'My wife is in labor and her contractions are only two minutes apart!'
'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked.
'No, you idiot!' the man shouted. 'This is her husband!'
