How do I let someone go from my bridal party?? It is totally my fault that I asked her, we were a little tipsy, but we aren't great friends and haven't talked in like 6 months, after a few attempts on my part. She also never gave me an engagement gift or a card...I don't need a gift or card from people, but she is in my bridal party. I don't know what to do ... HELP!
Im a Pepper
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Re: problem with bridesmaid!
I'm in a pretty similar situation with someone I've asked. We used to be close; we're not anymore. I asked her on a whim amidst all the excitement and then we went back to barely speaking! I kept calling, emailing, messaging, etc. and not getting a response! Finally, I got a response (via email) that she wants to be in the bridal party and she just assumed I didn't want her to be anymore since we don't talk much. The stuff she said made it sound like she was doing me a favor by being a BM, but at that point, I really didn't know how to unask her. Anyway, I haven't found a great way to let her go and we still barely speak!
Soccadoc13
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Re: problem with bridesmaid!
Has she brought it up again since the tipsy night?....if she hasn't I would just ignore that you ever said anything and hopefully she forgets lol...as for no gift or card...I know exactley what you mean, my sister is my MOH and she didn't get us a gift or card either...we have been engaged for about 10 months now and she is yet to mention ANYTHING about the wedding......I feel your pain
littlepixie12
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hmm ... why dont you tell her that due to expenses you are making your party smaller now ... blame it on money!
amanda24
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That sounds like a great idea, but my FH has 14 groomsmen...I am really hoping that she backs out herself due to us not talking, but that is obviously wishful thinking. At this point, I am probably going to wait it out and deal with it. I emailed all the bridesmaids about ideas for my bachelorette and she responded so my response to her was that I haven't heard from her since my engagement party...no response yet!
jbirney
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Was she going to be invited to the wedding? How many bridesmaids do you have?
amanda24
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I have 7 without her. If things go south then I probably won't invite her to the wedding. If she backs out then I will invite her...
rakell1
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damn bridesmaids..we all have our drama
meara
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Okay - first I have to say that it's probably best just to be upfront with her esp since she brought it up but - like say just what you are feeling and see what she thinks f that is overwhelming I'd go the conniving route - have another bridesmaid say something to her - like all of us are chipping in an planning some type of event for the you (the bride) that either takes a committment of time or money and maybe she'l just back out. .
Angelica80
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My sister had a similar situation for her wedding. When she called all of her bridesmaids to let them know about their dresses and that they would have to leave a deposit she backed out and said she did not feel comfortable being in the bridal party and that was the end of it. Maybe if you ask her to participate or pitch in for things she might back out on her own.
amanda24
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i actually haven't asked any of my bridesmaids to do anything. Participation might just do it! Good ideas girls.
PoppedInASnap
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Hmmm was she drunk too when you asked?? because if so you could always be like 'I asked you what?'
coldasice217
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Tell her you're pushing the wedding up to 11/1...
In all seriousness, even though it's probably a little underhanded, just mention that you were thinking of pushing it up and/or scaling down, and ask her if she will have any problem with that due to money. If she was already balking, she'll use that as her opportunity to step down. Then let some time pass (especially if you're not talking to her that often anyways), and if it comes up, say you decided to keep the original date.
Soon2BMrsC09
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Re: problem with bridesmaid!
It depends on the relationship with her - if its someone that you are going to be around for a while and maybe just doesnt know wedding etiquette I would have another bridesmaid have a chat with her. If it is someone that you are more than likely not going to see again and it doesnt matter that it may ruin the relationship - I would either bring it up to her or if you just plan on not talking to her - I just wouldnt include her in the activities and if she asks later on down the line - I would just tell her that you decided to down size your bridal party - either way it can be a tough one...
kgicrls
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Re: problem with bridesmaid!
Posted by amanda24
How do I let someone go from my bridal party?? It is totally my fault that I asked her, we were a little tipsy, but we aren't great friends and haven't talked in like 6 months, after a few attempts on my part. She also never gave me an engagement gift or a card...I don't need a gift or card from people, but she is in my bridal party. I don't know what to do ... HELP!
I understand that you want to let her go bc you haven't spoken to her in 6 months. That really stinks. I wouldn't even know where to begin with that subject. But I didn't get cards from my bridal party either when we got engaged. I only got a card from one girl, maybe 2....
amanda24
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I don't know if i have the guts to lie...I know that sounds horrible, but I will probably still have her. I made the decision and unfortunately have to live with it. I will feel horrible booting her out unless she backs out. I have to try to get the girls a little more involved and see if that works...wish me luck! Thanks for all your advice
