I just found someone to do our hair on the wedding day. It's $65 for each bridesmaid. I told my FSIL about it and this is what she said ' Well, I really need to know what I'm getting for $65. I am not going to trust that this person will do a good job of my hair on that day. I want to speak to her myself and see if I can get a free trial.' I told her ' No, problem, but she may charge you for a trial, because she is charging me $40.' My FSIL then said, 'Well, maybe I'll just call around and find myself someone else to do my hair.'
Here's the problem. I understand her needs and feelings 100%, BUT I am having this person come to my house the day of the wedding and It would really stink if my BM was off getting her hair done somewhere else. OR am I over reacting ( I tend to do this sometimes). I just am overwhelmed with this whole planning process that I sometimes just get angry. I am trying to help EVERYONE else,plan the entire wedding myself and get info and appointments. Should I just be worrying about myself and let them fend for themselves?
Sincerely, Overwhelmed & Stressed Out
kel2004
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
I think it will be okay if she gets her hair done elsewhere. I've been in several bridal parties, and I've always preferred to go to my hairdresser for updo's. It may even be easier for you if you let them fend for themselves. It will be more hectic if lots of girls are getting their hair done at your house that morning. It will be nice for them to be ready when they show up.
dietz
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
I feel the same way about my wedding- you're doing all this planning and preparation and then people just complain. It was very nice of you to arrange to have her hair done- you did all the leg work, after all. Let her call around and find someone else, then! You can't worry about it. Just have your hair done with the person you like, and if someone else wants theirs done as well while your stylist is at your house, then schedule it. But don't worry about everyone else.
StepherG
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
YOu know what, you're right. I guess I should just leave the option to use my person up to them. Otherwise, they'll just have to be at my house by a certain time. I guess I just got upset because I was searching for a place that would travel to the house inexpensively so that we wouldn't have to run around all morning. I am trying to accomodate too many people. I was actually trying to find someplace that charged around $50 for them. BUT...if they don't want to use my person or it's too expensive, then that is there decision.
I think I'm back on track!
Nora101004
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
JMO But I think its okay if she goes elsewhere, just tell/ask her to be at your house wheneverone else has to get there too. One less person having to get their hair done is about 45 mins later you get to sleep or have more pics taken. My friend/BM is getting her hair done by someone else. I didn't have a problem b/c she likes the person who is doing her hair and she knows it will come out good. Does your BM have someone in mind? If you really want her to have her haid done by your person, could you pay for the trial? I know planning a wedding is stressful and its your day, but is it really worth arguements?
karen32
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
i think it's definitely okay if she goes someplace else. as someone else said, it might be less hectic, the fewer girls you have going to the same person. i wouldn't worry about it!!
kathleenmarie
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
I'm having everyone fend for themselves. I have someone coming, if they want to use her then fine, if not then they can deal with it. 65.00 is a good price...let her see what else is out there, she might change her mind!!
curlysue
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
YES!!Start worrying about yourself!. Do not get upset over how other people are reacting. They should be ashamed of themselves. I was in the same boat as you. I had more than one problem with my bridal party. I bit my tongue on alot of things. I had a makeup artist come to my house all I said to everyone she will be here at such and such a time and she charged x amount of dollars. I did not care if they used her or not. I was using her and thats all that mattered. I asked all the girls to put their hair up one didn't want to. I said please do what ever you are comfortable with. You will go crazy thinking about your bridal party so much especially when you are feeeling that you are not getting the same thoughtfulness in return. You will see their true colors at this time. Stick in their and smile show that nothing will bother you. say to yourself 'this to shall pass' and 'oh well'. So, do not think about anybody but yoursel and your future hubby :o) - good luck!
Kelly9904
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
I dont think you are overeacting... But JMO, I dont think its a big deal if she goes elsewhere, infact it may wind up being a blessing! If this person is doing everyones hair, time may wind up being an issue, she her going somewhere else may help you in a sense! Dont let it get to you....
sophie78
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
I don't think you can say anything because you are not paying for it. If it is that important to you, then offer to pay for it.
usuk2004
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
A situation to avoid:
some one I know got her hair done at the salon that the bride made appointments for everyone at. This person and her sister didn't like the way their hair turned out and decided to go to another hair dresser AFTER the first one, causing them to be over an hour late to the bride's house, screwing up all of the pictures and nearly making everyone late for church.
Let your BM get her hair done wherever she wants, as long as she's on time for pictures you shouldn't stress over it.
michele31
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
IMO Unless you are paying 100% for your BMs to have their hair and/or makeup done you have no right to expect them to use your person. Your BMs have ever right to have their hair done by whomever they want, or even do it themselves. I had 8 BMs, and only 4 had their hair and makeup done with me that morning. I paid for both of my MOHs to have their hair trials. The other 2 girls were fine having it done that day without a trial.
Let all of your girls know that you have someone coming to the home, the trial costs, the day of costs and the time she is arriving. After that allow each person to make their decision.
jenny2penny
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
I don't think it's a big deal if she goes elsewhere. if you were going to pay then, yeah, I can see a problem. Don't get all upset over what the BM say. I am sure all will workout fine
NYCMeghan
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
My theory is simple: if you're paying for it then she has no right to *****, but if she is spending her own money on it then she has SOMEWHAT of a right to shop around. Thats not to say she has the right to drive you crazy. But you have so much else going on - I'd let this one slide if I were you. The one thing I have learned from this whole wedding ordeal is to pick the important battles and leave the rest.
Good luck!!
kdelace
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Re: Problem with Bridesmaid! Need Advice
I have learned that you cant worry about everyone. I am having a hair and makeup girl come to the house. Some of the girls are getting it done at the house some are oging to their own place and then coming to the house. I could care less. You have to worry about yourself- it's your day!! Let her shoe around. Shell be fine. But that seems to be a decent price- and the trial the same..
