Ok so here is my dilemma and hope i can get some input- FH's coworker and his fiancee are coming to our wedding. Their wedding is a few months after ours but we can't make it because FH's cousin is getting married the same day. Obviously family is priority so we are going to RSVP no to his coworkers wedding. My question is this- how much should we give back w/ the 'no' RSVP?? My mom says its the full amount that him/his fiancee will give us at our wedding, but also i'm thinking it shouldn't be as much due to the fact that they will not be paying for our plates at the wedding... thoughts? what would you do/send??
wedding_girl
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Re: Q- gift for a wedding you're NOT attending
Maybe just get them a gift off their registry??
allornil
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Re: Q- gift for a wedding you're NOT attending
it really depends on what you can afford and how much you like them.
Moonmist09
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Re: Q- gift for a wedding you're NOT attending
yikes. tougch one.
if i were you, i would give them a gift. maybe $200
don't forget, they might not give you a whole lot since at that point they will already know that you are not going to their wedding.
if sending a check along with the RSVP makes you uncomfortable - buy a wedding card and mail it to them with the check closer to their wedding.
AdriandSteve
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I think your right. Lets say they give you $200. I'd give maybe $150 then or $125 for a wedding I didn't attend. It really depends on how close you guys are to them. I wouldn't worry about matching gifts.
summerbride20
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Wait to see what they give you, and then I wouldn't match it since they are not going to yours... but I wouldn't give much less than that.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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ive done this in the past and basically gave the couple half of what they gave us... they arent spending money on our plated so why give the full norm of $300 right??
Lisalana
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Re: Q- gift for a wedding you're NOT attending
i usually get a gift off the registry - so that it's not super obvious how much i spent.
pipermaru
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i would wait and see what they give you... and then give them half... the wedding is after yours so there is no reason you need to send a check until closer to the wedding anyway
GiannisWifey
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I have to be honest, I would give the same thing as if I were going. If someone came to mine and gave me $300, if I couldn't make it to theirs, I would still give $300 back. that's JMO.
Corinne Ann
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Re: Q- gift for a wedding you're NOT attending
Posted by pipermaru
i would wait and see what they give you... and then give them half... the wedding is after yours so there is no reason you need to send a check until closer to the wedding anyway
thats what id do too
FutureJOC
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Re: Q- gift for a wedding you're NOT attending
If you are going to give money, than I would not give as much as you gave them because they didn't have to pay for your plates.
I personally would just go to their registries and give them a really nice gift off of that from what's left.
DaniandKen2010
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I usually send a gift off the registry, something from Things Remembered or Lenox if I am not going. JMO
marinai7
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You can get them a gift off their registry.
CantWaitMrsH
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Re: Q- gift for a wedding you're NOT attending
Its quite tough ... I certainly wouldnt give them their gift until its closer to their wedding. There is no requirement on what to give them, if anything at all. But I agree, if I didnt go to the wedding I wouldnt give them same ... ONLY if they were amazing friends then I would. Here's some info I found online ... sorry I couldnt be more helpful!
Guests invited to the wedding have an obligation to send a gift, whether they are attending or not. There are few exceptions. If you live far away from where the wedding will take place and have been out of touch with the couple for several years, and are not planning to attend the wedding, there's no need to send a gift. Also, the receipt of a wedding announcement after the wedding carries no gift obligation, although it's thoughtful to send the couple a note or card expressing your 'best wishes.' Is there a formula for figuring out how much to spend on a wedding gift? Yes – the amount spent on the gift should be based on your affection for and relationship with the couple – or their families – as well as your budget. People sometimes say that a wedding gift should cost at least as much as the bride and groom are spending on entertaining each person at the reception, but that is a myth.
NellieBellie32
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Re: Q- gift for a wedding you're NOT attending
i wouldnt give exactly the same amount id do a little less if u werent able to go or i would buy something off hte registry, a larger gift that wasnt bought
cavvento
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Re: Q- gift for a wedding you're NOT attending
I don't think it needs to be the full amount they give you b/c they are coming and you're covering their plate. Depending on your relationship with them, I'd say anywhere between $50 and $125.
RitasEngaged
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Re: Q- gift for a wedding you're NOT attending
Posted by AdriandSteve
I think your right. Lets say they give you $200. I'd give maybe $150 then or $125 for a wedding I didn't attend. It really depends on how close you guys are to them. I wouldn't worry about matching gifts.
ita
islandweddinggirl
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I would give them a nice gift off the registry :)
leesah85
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Re: Q- gift for a wedding you're NOT attending
Posted by RitasEngaged
Posted by AdriandSteve
I think your right. Lets say they give you $200. I'd give maybe $150 then or $125 for a wedding I didn't attend. It really depends on how close you guys are to them. I wouldn't worry about matching gifts.
