~*~***QOTD - 12/18/09***~*~

HAPPY FRIGGIN' FRIDAYYY!!! haha woo hoo!..I am so delerious, & my eyes are killing me from finishing my final paper for my online class..I decided to go back in the fall to finally finish & get my Bachelor's Degree!..5 more classes to go for anyone who cares! lol..anyway..on to the QOTD!

Is there anyone who has assumed that they were in your BP when you weren't even thinking of asking them?? How did you field that one? and or has anyone assumed you were inviting them when you had no intention at all??

So a few weeks after we got engaged I had stated that I was obviously having FH's nieces as my FG's. Also my little cousin that I am more like an Aunt to, because she is my God-Daughter & her sister (also my cousin) as my JBM. Ok..I'll try to give the condensed version, but I have an uncle that moved across the country that we have seen him & his children maybe 3 times in 20 years. He disregarded us for years. My grandma who I adored him (God knows why), would cry for him to call or come visit & he'd constatnly blow her off. Needless to say I have alot of resentment for him since he finally decides to show up with his kids while she was on her death bed.

Anyway, now almost 4 years later, My mom (his sister) assumes that I am putting his girls my other 2 cousins in my BP!!! Like what?! I'm sorry I don't even know these people! I stated exaclty how I felt and she knew it. Nervy as my uncle is, he asks her if his girls will be in the BP. After telling my mom a big fat 'Heeell Nooo!', she says YES to him! I was so furious and wouldn't talk to her normally for days, (which was hard because we work together.) I barely know him & don't friggin know his kids! How dare she even answer for me! Just be like 'oh she didn't say who's in it yet..' I am sticking to my guns on this one..he was so mean to my grandma all those years, God rest her soul, & you can't just come back into my life because it's conveinient for your kids to be in my BP!..BEAT IT!! Nerve and half!..

We also just had my mom's cousin say her son can't wait for my wedding and he thought it was this June!..aaand his gf was all excited to buy a dress..I just changed the subject.. who assumes and says that??!! I would see him out randomly but we're not like close or anything??..people never cease to amaze me..

As far as the BP, I didn't have any problems with people expecting to be the BP. I guess maybe the only person, but she wasn't vocal about it, was my friend who's wedding I was in this past June. After we got engaged, she had asked if I'd pick my BP and I told her I have I just have to ask everyone. I had explained to her, as a way of avoiding her attacking me that she wasn't in my BP, that FH and I really don't want a huge BP and that as far as the girls, I wanted to keep it family (and that's really what it is... my two MOH's have been my best friends forever and I think of them like my sisters), my 2 cousins, and FH's sister. I could tell she wanted to say something to me, but she never has.

As far as invites go, I have this group of friends I used to hang out with a lot back in the day. I think they are expecting to be invited but honestly, I haven't really spoken to most of them or seen most of them for over a year. I'm sorry but if I haven't had any sort of contact with you for over a year, and majority of you have not even met my FH, why the hell would you be invited to my wedding?? Just doesn't make make much sense.

My next door neighbor thinks she's going to be in my BP. She was a BM in my sister's wedding. When I got back from my cruise and told her I was engaged, she made the assumption that she was also going to be a BM in my wedding.

NOPE!

I dont know how to go about this. But the funny thing is that she hasnt spoken to me in months. It's like as soon as the leaves change, she doesnt talk to my family anymore. But my father and I saw her in the store the other day and she was such a snob to us and didnt mention anything about my wedding. Did she forget?
I hope so!

Thank god no one invited themselves into my BP. I am keeping it very small just family and maybe one couple friend. I really want my friend and his gf we got so close over the past year but my FH doesnt really want our friend as his GM. I told him well see how it goes by next year.

As far as the wedding, this past thanksgiving my FMIL found family on facebook that havent seen eachother since my FH was born. She invited them down for thanksgiving and they came talk about an italian get together there was 35 of us at FMIL's house. crazy but fun anyway everyone that came down was like so when is the wedding I expect an invite. I know there fam but really I just met you and you live in S. C. We'll see about it!

Wow, after reading the original post. I realized this has happen to me. On Thanksgiving, I went to my FIL's house and they always bring up the wedding and stuff. MY FH has two aunts, one i love dearly and one that tries to hard to be loved but isn't. Needless to say it was the aunt who tries to be love who brings up the wedding all the time. So, at dessert she like 'oh your getting block of rooms for all of us right?. Now I havent even though about that but sure if you need, I can accommodate. She like 'yes me and Rhoda need separate rooms'? I give a look at the aunt I love like who Rhonda? Apparently. she is the aunt who tries to hard MOTHER IN LAW. Excuse, I only met her twice and that only because you hosted the two dinner? Like seriuosly, I really hope her breathe isn't being held for an invite. I don't mean to be mean but I have budget and your MIL who i met twice and my FH doesnt even like this aunt pshhhhh.

Thanks, I need that vent

I have a question, Ever since I got engaged, my FH and I have been trying to save money and not do much. That means I have not see my friends as much as I used too. Now when it come to the bridal party, I had my orriginal girls but we all seem like we are doing our on thing consdering one just moved back Vegas has yet to see me or give her new cell. Another is engaged so she busy with her wedding. Do i look for a new party or wait it out? Im toatlly lost on this.

I didn't have any problems with the bridal party - but I do have some one saying they want their daughter to be our flower girl. SUCH a nice gesture - but I really don't want kids to be in or at the wedding.

Also - she is a friend - not some one related and we don't see her that much. FH more then I since they work together - but she has dropped hints a couple of times so I really hope she is kidding LOL

luckily, I haven't had anyone assume they're in the BP. Only one of my friends has really mentioned it, but she knows that she is def in the BP, so that's different. We knew we were going to have a LONG engagement, so maybe that's why it hasn't come up bc it hasn't been like OMG WEDDINGGGGG!

As far as guests inviting themselves, we've had a few of those. FH & I have been together forever so ppl always joke 'ooo remember me when u get married...' I'm assuming they're joking since most of these ppl we don't talk to anymore, but then there are some of my co-workers who've mentioned getting invited more than a few times....I don't know what I'm gonna do about that yet....Plus, one of the women who always does that is the type to bring like 4 of her girlfriends along with her, not just 1 date - this co-worker thing is gonna be the hardest to figure out what to do....

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Posted by Kuklitsa143

I have a question, Ever since I got engaged, my FH and I have been trying to save money and not do much. That means I have not see my friends as much as I used too. Now when it come to the bridal party, I had my orriginal girls but we all seem like we are doing our on thing consdering one just moved back Vegas has yet to see me or give her new cell. Another is engaged so she busy with her wedding. Do i look for a new party or wait it out? Im toatlly lost on this.

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I think weddings have a way of bringing everyone together again - its a time when you realize who is your true friend and you know they will step up when you need them, so I don't think you need to find a new party. I would wait it out and then ask who you feel comfortable asking about a year/year & a half before the wedding. I feel that if they're truly your friend, even if you haven't talked to them in a while, they would be honored to be in ur BP

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Posted by dCa51899

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Posted by Kuklitsa143

I have a question, Ever since I got engaged, my FH and I have been trying to save money and not do much. That means I have not see my friends as much as I used too. Now when it come to the bridal party, I had my orriginal girls but we all seem like we are doing our on thing consdering one just moved back Vegas has yet to see me or give her new cell. Another is engaged so she busy with her wedding. Do i look for a new party or wait it out? Im toatlly lost on this.

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I think weddings have a way of bringing everyone together again - its a time when you realize who is your true friend and you know they will step up when you need them, so I don't think you need to find a new party. I would wait it out and then ask who you feel comfortable asking about a year/year & a half before the wedding. I feel that if they're truly your friend, even if you haven't talked to them in a while, they would be honored to be in ur BP

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Sorry I didn't answer this before - but I agree with dCa51899. These sorts of things always bring people together and they also show peoples true colors. If they really care about you as a friend they wil be there for you in this process and show interest. I think things will fall into place for you automatically and you will see who you want and don't want very clearly.

Luckily I haven't had this issue really.

No one has assumed they are in the bridal party except my 12 year old cousin (and she is). Lol.

As far as guests go, I had one person I run into say 'I want to come!' I just said, 'oh, the wedding is a while away' to brush it off.

It's not someone I see often, so it isn't really an issue.

Is there anyone who has assumed that they were in your BP when you weren't even thinking of asking them?? How did you field that one? and or has anyone assumed you were inviting them when you had no intention at all??

lol I had no one to ask to be in my bridal party. Everyone assumed - but everyone assumed correct I guess because I've been in their weddings on their family, etc.

The only awkward situation was my cousin Allison got very upset (she is only 11) because her little sister was asked to be a flowergirl and she was not in it. Well I felt so guilty I asked her on the spot 'Of course you're in it!'

I mean come on, it's a little kid - how could I not?

FH didn't blame me at all and said I handled it better than he would have. At this point too, what is one more?

One of my best friends assumed she was in it (and she is) but I wish she wouldn't have. It was pressure to have her in it and that was soooo uncomfortable.

And I have had peopld try to invite themselves to the wedding by saying 'just let me know when it is so I can take off.' Seriously?!?! Just because you know of me doesn't mean that I am inviting you! lol some people....