If your (or FH's) parents are helping pay for the wedding (or paying in full) how much say do you let them have in the wedding? Or how much of a say do they insist/intend on having?
FH's mother wanted her husband to give us money... actualy nice realy nice amount. But we knew she'd be asking for certain things at the wedding as choice in music selections with our dj, what hall we choose etc... That's what made us decide to pay for it on our own. It's our wedding and we want it the way we have invisioned it. I saw how his FH tried to take over my FSIL's sweet 16... the poor girl decided not to throw one because she just couldn't have a damn say in anything
Dazzlin217
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
we are paying for it on our own.
T E R I
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
we are paying for it on our own, so we don't have to worry about it.
But i could only imagine how bad it could get, in the beginning FILS were helping us try to pick the hall and they were driving me crazy with it, so if i had to run everything past them i think i would go nuts
christine2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
my parents are paying for the RH. so my sister & i have looked at places. narrowed it down & will show FH & my parents then we will all decide together.
my mom is pay for my dress & helping my sister (MOH) with the shower.
FMIL is paying for the flowers & rehearsal dinner. she has told us that we can have whatever we want no matter the cost. (he is an only child)
FH is paying for the honeymoon & ceremony location.
I think that leaves me the band, limos, photo/video.
did i forget anything????
barbtony
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
We're doing it all on our own.
JenBill61210
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
FH and i are paying for everything pretty much. My mom will be taking care of my shower, and e-party. Hopefully his side will take care of the RD. I would have to say though if my parents or his were paying for anything else then i would have no choice but to let them have input on what they wanted... so i guess its better this way.
ShannonSoon
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
Even though both of our parents said they are going to help us as much as they can, we're are going into this assuming we are paying for everything. Both my mother and FMIL always express interest in the wedding and wanting to hear my ideas and they give me suggestions. If anyone was to start telling me who I have to book with, etc. bc they are paying for something, I would squash that completely and just pay for it myself. I don't feel it's right that people think they can dictate specifics of your wedding just bc they are paying for it. I mean budget wise, yeah they have every right to control the amount of money they spend, but that's it. I would welcome their opinions and ideas but it isn't fair to be forced into something for your own wedding. The wedding is about you and your FH and that's who should ultimately decide what the vision of the day should be like.
bkbaby4life
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
i think mine and FH's parents are paying for the RH. We're gonna try to pay for everything else (dj, limos, etc.)
my mom also insisted on paying for my dress. i was more than happy to let her do that lol. (of course i picked the one she loved....thankfully i loved it too.)
my mom loves to put in her two cents. but she has good taste (god i hate to admit that) and , in the end, will back off if need be.
FH's parents live in the middle east. so they wont be able to partake in most of the planning.
i hate when ppl give money/gifts and then expect things in return. i think its nice to try and involve the entire family in the planning process....but ppl need to know their limits. easier said than done i suppose....
amandah75
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
My parents are paying for half of the RH, FFIL paid for the deposit on the photographer and that's pretty much all FH feels comfortable asking for from his family. Trying to get him to ask for the DJ deposit (it's so minuscule) but he said no. A little irritating that he's more than happy to have my parents drop $7,000 but can't get up the courage to ask his father for a couple of hundred. We are paying for everything else ourselves. 50% of the RH, the photog, dj, flowers, tux, dress, entertainment.....
So even with my parents paying 50%, I know my mother will not ask anything of me. She just wants to help with my ideas. I'm lucky.
stinenandy2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
My parents gave me a budget and everything over is our responsibility. We are paying for photographer, flowers, limos and honeymoon. I consult my mother on everything, her opinion is very important to me. We have a great relationship and if she doesn't like something then I don't do it. On the other hand, if I am in love with something, she reasons with me.
FH's parents paid for the eparty and are paying for the RD. They are great, gave me a budget and I stuck to it. But they let me do whatever I wanted.
The only person out of the loop is FMIL and it will stay like that even if the woman offers me 1 million dollars!
RedsBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
My parents really haven't given us a certain budget yet. They are taking care of everything since they hardly had to pay a cent for my brother's weddings. I'm grateful for it and I try and get them involved as much as possible. They haven't been too pushy about anything yet. They just want us to have a mass in the church for our ceremony which I did agree to.
grrulz
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
both our parents are paying for the RH, FH and I will take care of the other costs (vendors)
Ray8183
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
We are paying for everything ourselves. So everyone is a guest with no say. Just the way i like it.
CloudNine
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
my parentsa re helping us but its because they want to help us financially not because they want to plan my wedding. so far they haent requested anything
Nurse12985
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
My parents are paying for the RH, we are paying for our vendors and honeymoon. FH's family- Says they cannot give us anything and that a grooms family should not have to pay for anything anyway.
SummerBride10
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
We're paying for it on our own!
MrsL2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
we're paying for the majority of it ourselves. My mom is giving us some $, but not a lot....i'm getting the same amount that she gave my brother (and there are 2 more brothers that still need to get married). FIL will not give anything, they said the groom's family shouldn't pay for anything. thats' fine by me, but my FMIL and I have completely opposite tastes in everything.
oh, and my mom is buying my dress.
mosh424
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
my parents are paying for everything and my FIL are paying for the honeymoon
We are excepting ideas and comment from both sets of parents but not being presured into anything by them
rocketsummer17
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
we are paying for everything on our own so FMIL gets NO say whatsoever... yet she did say if we used a certain DJ she would pay for it...But guess what, I will not use a dj only bc she gets something out of it (it makes her look good bc the DJ is the 'official' dj of the school district she works in...) so keep your money I will pay for whatever dj i want myself thank you. May i add she is insisting that i have a certain kind of flower which I am allergic to...i think she is trying to make me look ugly on my wedding day or to kill me lol the only person who gets any say is my mother, and she only gets a say in what wedding dress i pick...that is something i wouldnt take away from her.
angels914
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/12/08
We are paying for everything ourselves !!!!!!!!!! ( well 99% from FH and 1% from me !!!
