*~* QOTD Wednesday, 8-31-11 *~*

Throughout this whole planning process, we are all trying to incorporate unique touches into our weddings, or if not necessarily unique then at least making our own choices and have preferences...

So my question is - has there been anything you've chosen to go with or decided on that other people or a member of your family hates? Have any of their reactions surprised you or did you pretty much know they would disapprove? lol And did you change that thing to please them or did you tell them too bad?

Most of the decisions I have made, people have loved.

However.

There have been things people didn't like that have surprised me.

For example - my decision to wear flat shoes. I didn't think this would be such a big deal. But when I mentioned this on separate occasions, both my mother and FMIL said 'Oh you could wear a low heel.' I think to them, flats are associated with sneakers or loafers or house shoes and being 'dressed' means a heel...Luckily I was able to show them what I wanted and they liked them, I just thought it was so weird people would not like this. They're MY feet!!

Also my decision to wear an ivory dress. My dress is ivory. Light ivory. Its not beige. My FMIL almost jumped out of her chair when I told her I was wearing ivory. I am waaaay to pale to be wearing stark white, IMO. (Thanks mom for not passing on that olive skin! lol)

The one thing that I did end up changing was the wording of my invitation. MY ILs are the King and Queen of 'proper and traditional' so I didn't think they would have a problem with the 'Mr. and Mrs. request the honour of your presence/son of Mr. and Mrs.' but they waited to tell FH they they think its going to look like my parents paid for everything. (When FH and I are paying for this wedding ourselves in reality.) That was the one battle I was willing to concede on. We changed it to 'Together with their parents.'

FH's family is Jewish (I'm Catholic), and we are doing a non religious ceremony. Due to a complicated family structure, I'm not having any parents grandparents walk down the aisle or be introduced at the reception - just the bridal party. FH's grandmother was asking about the wedding and she goes 'Matt - your parents aren't walking you down the aisle?' FH says 'No'. Then she asked me if both my parents are walking me down the aisle. Told her it will only be my father. She gave me the 'sour lemon' face. She doesn't seem to understand why we wouldn't have a Jewish ceremony & follow Jewish traditions. It's a little annoying, and it's my wedding - no drama please

my fasciantor and birdcage is definitely not a crowd pleaser but i love it. and i did compromise and im wearing a traditional veil for ceremony.

2 of my bridesmaids have flat out told me they dont really like anything i've chosen and dont 'get' my theme. by the way my theme is rustic/woodsy and im quoting them here they said 'its stupid you dont live on a farm and your not getting married in a barn so why do a rustic theme?' but oh well we all have different taste so i dont really care if they dont like it.

i think its because my friends and family expected me to choose alot of bling and a big over the top ball gown dress covered in crystals and feathers that when they see i went in a different direction they are more surprised than turned off. the reaction i've been getting more is that people didnt expect me to choose a traditional gown and simple rustic theme that its throwing them off.

FH's sister & brother are much older than he is (10 years +) and are married with kids. His sister told me before I even got engaged not to feel obligated to put her in the BP, as long as her 3 kids are in it (which they are) she's ok with that. Well FH chose his brother to be the BM, and his SIL expressed her 'anger' recently. Her kids are in it too (all 3), but she said I made her a widow for the day. I explained that we didn't even put FH's sister in because our BP is already at 25 people, and that we even got a limo for all of them so they can be with us all day. Some family members were p-o'd but I don't give a damn. My decision was made.

Another thing was BM dresses, the original ones I chose my two MOH's didn't like because they said they're not flattering for their body types...so I changed it, and then some of the other girls were mad I didn't go with the original dress. In the end I didn't go with my top pick and people were still unhappy, so I should've just put my foot down. You live, you learn.

Oh and my red shoes had people talking, but again - my wedding, I do as I please