Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
februarybride
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Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
DH and I were talking about this yesterday...
Would you tell a friend that they shouldn't get married if you felt like they were making a mistake?
prncssrachel
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
All depends on how close I was to them, but most likely no. It's none of my business at the end of the day.
JuneBabyBride
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
It depends on the type of person it is, I know people that probably would end a friendship over your opinion and then I know people that would respect your opinion and do what they want to do!!
februarybride
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
If I thought any of my siblings were making a mistake, I probably wouldn't come straight out and say it, but I would definitely have a heart to heart. A friend though, I wouldn't tell. It would definitely ruin a friendship!
charliesgirl
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
Yes - a friend of mine that I work with is in a very abusive relationship and me and another co-worker have told her that she should really think about if she really wants to get married. Her FI is a control freak and verbally abusive. This weekend he almost hit her. I usually stay out of other people's business but my friend is really upset that her FI has turned into this other person ever since they got engaged. But this is just my opinion.
nrvbrd
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
No, because they will end up resenting you for it.
Scoop
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
Unless he was physically abusing her or cheating...I would probably mind my own business.
februarybride
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
I agree if a friend was in an abusive relationship then I would feel almost responsible to tell them.
Irishbride
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
I would never unless that person was in danger. But my Mom has no problems telling me that she thinks I am making a mistake with my FH. She has met him a total of 3 times. It was a HUGE fight but as it turns out I think she is just sad that I will never come home. (She lives in Ireland)
xjulietx
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
If it was a rushed wedding and I thought they needed more time to get to know one another, I would say something. If they had been together for a while, I would shut up unless she asked my opinion.
Real Life: I was the only one to think that my brother was rushing into his marriage (they dated for a month, broke up for 1 1/2 months and got engaged after 4 more months) and now he is in a horrible, lonely, verbally abusive, neglectful marriage where his wife needs mental help and refuses to get it. I said that I thought he was jumping too soon, but I'm just the little sister.
cw0904
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
I agree with Scoop.
februarybride
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
Sorry for your brother Julie... life is too short to be miserable!
Kathy116
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
A person very dear to my heart is making a huge mistake, marrying the wrong person..but I can't say anything...it would cause some major resentment. People have to learn for themselves and make their own decisions.
(Also, other people have told him, but he just gets po'd, so I know me telling him won't change anything)
Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
Dh and I have gone through this with his friend...
His friends told the friend to break up with the girl and she flipped out on them b/c he told her what they said...so they didn't say one word when the marriage came...to him at least...although I they are taking bets on divorce
Diane
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
It depends. If they are in an abusive relationship...yes, but I agree, that person will end of resenting you.
I didnt want my brother to marry my SIL, but that is his mistake, and he would not listen to anyone anyway......Im so dreading this next weekend
kmcwed
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
If the relationship is an abusive one, and it is a very close friend or relative, then I would definitely say something. Also, if I knew something about their FI that they didn't know, like they were cheating or using drugs or something.
BUT.....
You have to be prepared to lose the friendship. Sometimes people know deep down they are making a mistake but are too afraid to turn back. When someone points it out to them, they are more likely to end the friendship than end their relationship. Sometimes people just aren't ready to see what's right in front of them.
It's a tough call...
Wendy
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
Probably not, although it depends on the person. I think that most people become very resentful and don't listen to you anyway. If anything it makes them more determined to do it, just to prove to you that they make their own decisions. All you can do is be supportive when the inevitable happens.
ThreeTwenty
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
No, but I'd probably post-date the check.......
MarciaD
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
Agree with Scoop, but sometimes it is sooooo painful to witness.....
MrsTC
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Re: Ques - Would you tell someone they shouldn't get married?
not unless I felt they were in grave danger - no I wouldn't... it's none of my business.
