Question

For guests that respond 'No' for a wedding, are they expected to send an explanation

I have never sent an explanation when I had to RSVP no for a wedding - just a card or registry item.

I have noticed a few posts about people being upset that there was no explanaiton given for a 'No' rsvp. Which I also find funny since many of those same people were hoping for a lot of 'No' responses.

Thoughts

well, we only invited very close friends and family. so when we got a plain old 'no', I found it a little strange. at least say 'we would have loved to come but ______'

you know?

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Posted by BHW

You don't need to send an explanation, but I thought it was nice when the people who replied 'No' sent a little note on the response card apologizing for not being able to attend, wishing us good luck, saying congratulations, etc.

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Yea thats is what I would expect, but its not mandatory

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Posted by dleeny

well, we only invited very close friends and family. so when we got a plain old 'no', I found it a little strange. at least say 'we would have loved to come but ______'

you know?

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Ditto.

I guess if it was someone I was really close to, it would be nice to get a reason.

Awhile back there was a thread going about the crazy no responses some people got, it was hilarious!

A good friend told me that she wrote a 3 page letter explaining why she could not attend a friend's wedding. In her case, I get it since she really wanted to go (a close friend) but had no extra money at all. At the time she and her husband had just bought a new house and just had a new baby. She was not trying to go out to buy a new dress (in her pregnant size) just to wear once to the wedding and then take off work on her busiest day (she is a hair stylist) plus get a baby sitter for the day (two small kids) and buy a gift. I did not read the letter but she mentioned how their friendship had grown over the years and how happy she was to see her friend get married

So, I guess in some instance the person feels compelled to explain. The bride was definitely not expecting the explanation though and kept the letter.

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Posted by BHW

You don't need to send an explanation, but I thought it was nice when the people who replied 'No' sent a little note on the response card apologizing for not being able to attend, wishing us good luck, saying congratulations, etc.

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That is a nice gesture but definitely not mandatory

I recently heard that proper etiquette for a 'no' response to an invite of a dear friend or relative should include a brief explanation and a sentiment of gratitude for being included.

I feel this is the best gesture one can offer considering the thought that was extended by the host/hostess.

Well, I wanted to have more Nos than I did but even so, that does not excuse how inconsiderate some of the Nos were.

If it is someone that H and I have done a lot for, then an explanation is in order.

If its last minute, an explanation is in order. And at that point, so is a gift!!!

In some situations, an explanation isn't necessary but in some situations it totally is.

i think a no is sufficient
i wish the yes responders at our wedding who didnt show up would have said no in advance not just not show - so any no is a good one if you dont have a no show
that is my humble opinion anyways