Question about being very sensitive/emotional

Hi.


I happened to be one of these people. I am very sensitive. Though I can dish it out sometimes I cannot take it.

I have a hard time taking criticism or hearing not so good things about myself.

I know there are alot of strong tough ladies out there. Tell me how to toughen up!!!

I am somebody that could care less about what people say about me. I always say if they don't like me thats not my problem.

BUT...when it is somebody close to me that says nasty things I do get really hurt. I become very sentimental and emotional so I understand.

I think it's easy to say that we don't care what strangers think about us. We don't have a vested interest in their lives, so why should we give a flying fig about what they think of us, right?

The absolute toughest thing IS to take criticism from those that love you the most. These are the people that know you the best, so they also know what makes you 'tick' and where your weak spots are. If a criticism is given out of love and kindness, than here's how I would deal with it:

Some things that can make you 'tougher' when it comes to criticism is to really listen and try to understand where the other person is coming from. The hardest part is not to jump to conclusions or immediately get your guard up. Listen to the criticism and then give yourself some time to process it before you respond. After careful thought, your reaction might suprise you...you might actually agree with the other person, and that's how we all learn and grow or change something we are not happy with.

If a criticism is given out of hatred and anger, than it's much tougher to deal with b/c there is hurt involved (often on both sides), so it can be much harder to avoid being emotional.

I ca get upset also, but I usually try to not give a rats ass what people think

Ex: After I got married a friend of mine made a comment on how my hall was not the nicest,and I was insulted but then I thought about where would she get married if pappa and mamma werent paying. So I toss the comment up to ignorance.

Wacky, the sheer and utter nerve of that person. Now that would p*iss me off

Yeah but NVRBRd, thats my point. At first it hurt, but now for every thing that happens in her life I wont let her get to me, because I know that I did it on my own. And now they can kiss my arse.

Its all BS in the end. I live my life for me now. Thats how you should feel.

Toughen up lady, people love to knock you down, it makes them feel better

I can be sensitive at times...its tough...b/c it is hard to stop your feelings...


one thing you can try is mental stopping. When you realize that you are being overly sensitive tell your mind to stop and replace it with a better thought

wacky: I like our hall!!! heh

Back to the topic.

It's never easy to take in bad things said about you.

I used to cry every time someone would make fun of me as a kid. I'd run home crying and kids would follow me and beat me up calling me freak and things. Later it was the divorce and being the kid without a mom. There's always something (it seems) that I do in my life that some idiot feels the need to pick apart.

I gave up.

I figured that I couldnt change their minds or make them see how badly they hurt me. So I gave up. I stopped caring about the negative stuff. Yes, it still stung and does today when I hear negative things. Then I realize, who cares? If I let them change my mind, make me sad or be anything other that what I would be if I hadn't heard them, then they won.

Some people say things they just KNOW they shouldn't. Others say stupid stuff because, well they are stupid. Not grades in school stupid, but life in general stupid. Others say things because they don't understand that honest doesn't mean being untactful.

I listen to what they say and either say 'hrm.. they may have a point in some areas but it's not THAT bad, I'll consider it' or I just blow it out of the water 'what idiots, they don't know me and I don't care'. This is probably why I have only a few close friends. But they mean the world to me. They can tell me I look like a fat whale and I wouldn't be offended. I'd say 'oh, ok, lets diet' True friends know what hurts and which buttons should NOT be pushed. At the same time they know honest is a true gem to me and I take what I give.

Others.. those I don't consider true diehard friends, well I still respect them. I live by the old rule do on to others, no matter what they say to me. I pity the people who think they know my WHOLE life and my WHOLE situtation that they have the nerve to be negative to me. Look I want negativity I'll call my mother, otherwise back off, I could care less.

I also figured being down on myself or ticked off at others is SUCH a waste of time, I just learned to move on. That was the hardest part, learning to move on. Even now if I get mad at someone I may dwell on what was said or how I felt or what I could have done or said otherwise.. I catch myself and say 'get over it, think of something else' and I do. Its not easy but you have to. What's done is done don't beat yourself up about it.

JMHO

X-

Thank you.

Though I do not know you, I always love reading your posts. You are so intellectual and informed.

I am sorry about all you went through in your life, it WILL get better.

Wow X, so true. Sorry you had to go through that as a kid. People can really be mean. I know my name in school was 'Gonga' for guirella.

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Posted by nrvbrd
I am sorry about all you went through in your life, it WILL get better.

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It already has! Im married! lol

You can't let it keep you down. I am married to a great guy live in New York (who knew?) own my own car, have a good career, love my Dad, wake up everyday and know that Im still here. The future is mine.

We all have our rough times. I have tons of medical issues, lots of family issues, my share of financial issues and a streak of bad luck that's scary, but you have to have faith that all the good things in your life balance it out. The trick is noticing the good stuff.

I find people always seem to highlight the bad in their lives and sorta overlook the good. Ever look out the window and see butterflies fly by or look at the pretty flowers? Ever soak in a hot tub or watch a baby giggle when you smile? It's that stupid chain mail crap people send around. Well ya know what? It's true. Try not to dwell so much on the bad. God knows, you'll find time to do that later. Each sad, hard or trying time has their moments in our lives. That's fine, we learn from that. We need to feel pain, it makes the pleasures all that more enjoyable, but don't let it drown you in despair.

Im always willing to share my insight to the world from my little point of view. But don't you worry about me.

Life *IS* good cause I make it that way!

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Posted by wacky

Wow X, so true. Sorry you had to go through that as a kid. People can really be mean. I know my name in school was 'Gonga' for guirella.

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I was the four eyed freak from hell.

My glasses were SOOO large it was terrible. Having two different colored eyes didnt help. One very bright blue (brighter than now) and one brown.

I remember:
Circus freak, monster, alien child, devils pawn, scary navy ronie, One eye, bug eyed blue.
Also, your mother slept around with so many men you're mix, and.. your parents must have found you in ditch, or .. your mom was screwed by a dog (there is a dog with my eye coloring), then it was all sorts of other stuff I've long since forgotten.

Funny thing is.. in High School right before a fight I had, this one girl said something mean and nasty about my eyes.. I stopped looked at her and started laughing so hard. I said 'youre kdiding me right? That's the BEST you could do?' I started listing all sorts of nasty things I've heard before then said 'You want to hurt me, you better get ready to fight, cause your mouth is useless'. I won the fight my father lectured me about letting her get to me about my eyes. I finally said I nearly DIDNT fight her cause she was so pathetic to come up with an insult like that!!

Now I'm an adult. Folks always ask me 'You ever think about getting color contacts so your eyes match' and my answer 'No, I've paid the price'. Now Im nearly egotisical about them. Im unique. Most aren't. It's me. I wouldnt wish it on any child, but at the same time I hope I can pass it on. It made me tougher and made me learn I like me for who I am. I've earned the right to look life in the face and say 'Yeah, so what? Bring it on'.

That and it was fun in college 'Tell me the color of my eyes and I'll let you drive home' LOL I got so many keys!!! Or the infamous pick up lines 'Baby you have the most beautiful brown eyes' .. uhmm I dont have brown eyes you freak.. move on.

Gotta laugh or you end up crying. heh

Gotta laugh or you end up crying. heh

'That is so true, I always say that. In HS there was this kid who would always say something about me looking like a boy and being hairy. It used to bother me, but one day I was like. You have big balls making fun of me, when you are like 2hundred pounds over weight.

Ive had friends tell me that I wouldnt amount to anything cause I didnt go to college. Give em a break, I still think thats BS.