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Question about BM's & Bridal Shower

Moonmist09 Posted:

Question about BM's & Bridal Shower

random question, i have no idea when my shower is or anything like that. its too far away to start planning in any event. (kinda long, bear with me)

however...every bridal shower i have ever been to, all the BM's and MOH got together and got the bride one big present from all of them. When my sister got married last year, i was her MOH and i did the same thing for her. me and all of her BM's all chipped in and got her one big gift.

when FH's sister's and cousin got married, they did not do this. all the BM's in their bridal parties got them individual gifts. when i had mentioned in passing that we did it the other way, they had never heard of it being done that way. they also mentioned that they thought that way was kinda dumb because they would have to buy the group gift and the individual gift (my Fh is sicilian and way over the top when it comes to presents, so yes, they feel they would have to do both since this is their bro getting married)
then the other day, the conversation came up and i had mentioned how they do it gifts to my mom and sister. they thought it was weird they did it another way.
i know everyone does thing differently, but i can sense this will be a problem, although i am resolved to not get involved...

is one way the actual correct way? thoughts?
JTG4EVER Posted:

Re: Question about BM's & Bridal Shower

I dont think any way is correct. It's whatever the bridal party decides. I've been in bridal parties where we did chip in and do a gift together and then I've been in bridal parties where we did our own thing. The one I chipped in with the group we bought the vaccum and some other big thing. But like I said, i dont think one way is correct. Whats the difference? Either you all get smaller things....or you get one big thing.

Thats-What-She-Said Posted:

Re: Question about BM's & Bridal Shower

I don't think it matters, but I think it depends on who is paying for the shower.

If the bridal party is paying then that is an expensive proposition and there should be little gifts. but if they aren't paying then I think the big gift is more appropriate.
FutureJOC Posted:

Re: Question about BM's & Bridal Shower

there is no correct/right or wrong way. Everyone should give a give they can afford to give and if it's not in the budget to get a joint gift on top of an individual gift than you do one or the other.

I have been in BPs where we only did a joint gift, we did both a joint and an individual, and where we just did individual gifts. It all depends on the situation
MissingLI Posted:

Re: Question about BM's & Bridal Shower

Ita with the girls. Every party is different. The BP I was MOH in didn't get one big gift, we each got individual gifts. It all works out in the end.

aquag12283 Posted:

Re: Question about BM's & Bridal Shower

I don't think there is any correct way to do it. For both of my friends all of the BM's didn't chip in for the gift. For my one friend me and another BM chipped in. For my other friend my mom and I went in on a gift

kimmaymb20 Posted:

Re: Question about BM's & Bridal Shower

There is no correct way. I love when the BP gets together and gets a gift together but for my cousins shower we each got our own sep. gifts. So it can be either way.

Jsquared Posted:

Re: Question about BM's & Bridal Shower

Its funny because i always thought thats what the bridal party did- i was in one where we each got her a table setting from her china registry..
I heard recently thats not the mandatory bridesmaid rule!!
I like the idea of it being whatever everyone agrees on i guess..
I think my mom might throw the idea out there so we will see.

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