Question about catholic church, please help!

DeniseMang Posted: May 13, 2002 10:01 AM

Question about catholic church, please help!

Hi girls. How do you all like this new format. I am still trying figure a few things out!

Anyway, I have a friend who is getting married next May. They plan to have their ceremony in the hall where the reception will be. Now, here is my question. My friend says she thinks that the catholic church WILL NOT recognize her marriage becuase she is not being married within the walls of the church. I told her I thought differently, as long as they are married by a catholic priest.

Does anyone know who is correct? I would really like to help her. Her family is giving her a hard time about all this.

Thanks girls,
love ya!

VickiC Posted: May 13, 2002 10:08 AM

Re: Question about catholic church, please help!

Her best bet is to call a church and ask them. Usually as long as you are in a covered building, the marriage will be recognized. And if a Catholic Priest is performing the ceremony, she should be ok. But again, every parish is different, so she would be better off caling her church and speaking to the priest there.

Sonicstef Posted: May 13, 2002 10:22 AM

Re: Question about catholic church, please help!

As far as I know, most Catholic priests that are associated with parishes in this area WILL NOT perform a ceremony outside a church. In fact, they will discourage you from being married by anyone outside of a church.

I did speak to one priest - Father Fahrenbacher- about being married at my site but the issue of whether it is recongnized by the church is up for debate. 'Recognized' doesn't mean very much and has no solid impact on any future dealings with them - but some parish priests may choose to not to acknowledge it.

debbus Posted: May 13, 2002 10:27 AM

Re: Question about catholic church, please help!

Please make sure you have all the information you need!
If your marrage is not recognized by the church you will not be able to have your children baptized!! My brother had to go to another religion for his babies!
If you can find a Priest to marry you outside the church, ask this question.
Hope this helps. Be careful!

Mary Posted: May 13, 2002 10:32 AM

Re: Question about catholic church, please help!

Tell her to check with her parish. You can get a dispensation, but I believe that is a grueling process and is not guaranteed. Also, being 'recognized' by the church can be an issue later on because friends of my family were married at City Hall and were given a problem when they were baptizing their son.

Cira Posted: May 13, 2002 11:51 AM

Re: Question about catholic church, please help!

Denise,
I am getting married outside the church by a catholic priest and technically, our marriage (two catholics) will not be recognized under the church. Although there is nothing in Canon law that says a couple can't get married outside the church, it is a diocesen (?sp) law. I think it's wrong - but hey, there is not enough room for my feelings on this!
But that does not mean that your kids will not be able to be baptized. And you have a very low chance of getting a dispensation for two catholics getting married outside the church too.

We decided to have the garden wedding (weather permitting, I'm hoping) that we want with a catholic priest performing the ceremony. And in turn, we are going to get it blessed in the Church at some point after. Then, it will be recognized by the Church!

My priest, Father Wilshere - would go into depth about this, if you would like more info! You can reach him at 516-568-1568.

Hope this helped settle your dispute with your friend!

Cira

DeniseMang Posted: May 13, 2002 11:58 AM

Cira

Thanks for the information. Are you sure that her kids will be able to be baptised, if their marriage is not recognized by the church? I think that is what they are the most concerned about. And a few postings up, someone said that they will have problems with that. So now I am worried.

michele31 Posted: May 13, 2002 12:49 PM

Re: You can baptize your children

My brother and his girlfriend are not even married and my nephew was baptized inside a Catholic Church by a Priest. I am his Godmother. In fact, the baptize information sheet that you fill out doesn't even ask for your wedding date and/or location.

There are Priests who go by their own rules sometimes and decide that they do not agree with certain things but that is not correct. My nephew's mother is not even Catholic, she is Lutheran and there was NO issues with the baptizm.

Officially the Church does not recognize marriages held outside of the Church, but it doesn't effect your legal marriage or anything else in your life. It is a personal decision.
I am getting married inside a Church because it is important to me. But there is no other reason than that.
Also, my BF was married by a JOP and both of her children are baptized, had their communion and are confirmed (one is doing it next year). There are never been any issue.

DeniseMang Posted: May 13, 2002 01:08 PM

To ALL

Thank you so much for all the information. I feel a lot better now. Love you girls!

Sonicstef Posted: May 13, 2002 01:20 PM

Re: To ALL

You can ABSOLUTELY have your children baptized no matter what.

In fact, you don't have to be Catholic or married (nevermind married in a Catholic church) to have your children baptized.

Mary Posted: May 13, 2002 01:45 PM

Re: Question about catholic church, please help!

Sorry, didn't mean to cause an uproar. Personally, my parish is very strict (i.e. they won't marry you if you are pregnant). Just a suggestion that she check with the parish first to avoid possible future problems.