question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
lishbone
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question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
i was telling my fsil i was thinking about donation favors..she said she loves the idea and was going to do that for her wedding but my fmil..(also hers)told her it was inappropriate and awkward? does anyone else's family or friends feel this way.? my fmil's mom and sister have breast cancer and fh and i were thinking of donating to breast cancer..i havent talked to fmil about it but i makes me feel wierd that she even said that to my fsil..she ended up not going with it..and she totally regrets it now..how is the donation thing awkward?they have walks and donations all the time to it..i think fh grandmother and aunt would be honored..or is it wierd?i need help!! i personally think its a great idea.I HATE WEDDING STUFF..its OUR wedding day..why cant people just keep their mouth shut!! i know she may be trying to help.but i think its rude of someone to say its inappropriate to doante to a good cause!!..sorry that i may not give favors that everyone will leave on the table anyway!
JCMsGirl05
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
I think its fine and if you like it....TOO BAD if she doesn't!
IrishBride-05
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
I love the idea and that's why we're doing it. I first saw a donation favor at a wedding two years ago and knew that it was exactly what I would do (I hadn't even met my FH at that stage) Anyone I have mentioned it to says it's a wonderful gesture.
ML110
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
we're doing a donation favor too... we're donating to the lance armstrong cancer fund- my dad is a cancer survivor, so its important.... but what we did was order the livestrong bracelets so there will be one of those at every seat wrapped in tulle with a tin of mints with a note explaining the donation... that way people aren't leaving 'empty handed' ( which they shouldn't care about anyway!) maybe if you do something like that so you give the donation AND people get something to take home with them... fmil would be happier?? but you said it though...its your day, you do what you want...
lulugrrl
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
I think a donation favor is the best way to honor someone. W are honoring my FH father by donating to AHA. He passed away of a heart attack, and we want to make him a part of the wedding in this way. I think we will also attach a monogrammed chocolate to the scrolled donation note.
But it's a great idea, don't be bullied away from something that you feel is right. A donation does so much more good than a favor that people just leave ont he tables half the time anyway!
Who knows, maybe someone in your family will be spared having cancer because you helped the cause!
CaCRmr
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
We did a donation for a wedding favor and since we paid for the whole wedding ouselves it was no one else's decision but ours. However, my family thought it was a great idea.
It's your decision not theirs, do it if it makes you happy.
johnsae
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
we are doing donation favors as well - I can't believe anyone would be offended by this, it's such a nice gesture.
mrsgtobe
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
We're doing donation favors as well. We want to honor three very important family members (FH's dad and aunt as well as my aunt) who all passed away from cancer.
It's your wedding, and you get to make the choices. It appears that your FMIL is the only one who sees donations in lieu of favors as 'inappropriate and awkward'. As long as you and your FH agree on what to do, her opinion doesn't matter!
mark'smama
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
We are going to be doing this. I think it is a GREAT idea. My family has high rate of heart disease. My mother had triple bi-pass 3 years ago and my brother has suffered 2 heart attaches (his first being at age 29 & his second this winter at age 37) , as well as his brother has an attach last summer (he is only 35). We are going to being doing the American Heart Foundation and I think everyone will love it! (or at least I hope and if not who cares, I love it and it is my wedding so there!!!!!)
o17range
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
I think the donation is a great idea (hence why we're doing one for our wedding) but we're not mentioning our specific family members in our cards...I think that's where your FMIL may have the problem. Sometimes people don't want to be thought of by their disease, rather the person they were prior to the disease. Does that make sense? I personally, think its a wonderful way to remember a loved one, but not everyone may be comfortable with it.
CJStein
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
We're doing donation favors too, I think it's a great gesture, and your guests should appreciate it. I doubt any of our guests need another set of S&P shakers or a wine stopper (not that there's anything wrong with those favors, I've gotten them and loved them.) I'd rather put the money towards a donation that can do some good.
TEDNJENN
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
My mom died 11 years ago from liver cancer and WE are doing donations instead of favors. It makes me feel like she is part of my wedding day donating in her memory even though she wont be there psychically.
Remember: Your day, Your Way!!!
Pmpkn087
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
I think the donation fave is a great idea. I wish I did that instead!
Personally, I would not be offended. However, if you said 'we are making a donation in the name of XX and XX' because they may get embarassed, or whatever the case may be.
BUT, I think that if you sent out saying something like 'in honor of our guests' or anything like a general statement, I think there would be no problem.
It's your wedding, not theirs!
JimmysBride
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
Everyone is going to have a comment about something at your wedding. You can't please everyone! So do what YOU want.
At first, I was not too keen on the donation favor idea. But I actually ended up coming around completely and did it at my wedding along with a wine favor.
I could've put the money toward a 'better' favor but I chose to donate that money instead and too bad to those who didn't like it.
Jen_n_Dale
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
To be honest, I rather no gift and just the thank you card. so a donation is a wonderufl thing!!! I hate knick knacks and they tend to get buried in a china closet or a hutch where no one sees them.
Edible favors are great too. Nothing to take up space.
Although one of my favorites was from Rob-Luvs-Me wedding, she gave out magnets from impressionst painters. I love art & I collect magnets.
Kerrycec
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
they are great, but I do think you need maybe a chocolate bar or something else. I know the older crowd does find it strange.
isuser
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
i think a donation is the best favor ever! it's much better than spending money on something that your guests may never use and end up throwing it out, JMO.
ckgmwedding
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
We are doing it and I don't care who is offended. I refuse to spend 500 on stuff that people don't need when there are so many charities that need the money. We are donating to Catholic Big Brothers/Big Sisters since my FH was a big brother for a number of years. My sister told us that the branch she volunteers for- Queens/Brooklyn- desperately needs the money. So I don't see how anyone could get offended.
Just so you know this was not intended to offend those doing non-donation favors. I just have a hard time with all that we have and really don't need.
FTRBRIDE
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
If someone actually has a problem with a donation it doesn't say very much about his/her character. Do what suits you best.
tourist
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Re: question about donation favors?do people really get offended?
Friends of mine are doing a donation & I think it is a great idea, since they both lost their mothers recently & are donating to charities related to both.
I did favors, but that doesn't mean everyone else has to.
ETA- I would suggest maybe not putting the family members name on it, esepcailly sicen they are FMIL's family & FMIL is the one who ahas issues with it.
Maybe she doesn't want to be reminded of a sad thing at a happy time &just doesn't know how to express that.
