This is driving Danielle and I crazy. We have found a couple of people that are saying I can't wait for your wedding, it is going to be beautiful, or I am invited right? Or my fiancees brother in laws brother said to my dad, I will see you at the wedding....We werent planning on inviting him. We didnt think we had to invite him.
What do i say to these people that we werent planning to invite when the say these things or ask if they are invited. So far I have been saying to people that we are trying to keep the wedding small and have only close family and friends there.
We already decided that we arent going to invite people from work to the wedding unless we can get our list down to 140 people. Right now we are at 174 people. My mom and Danielles mom invited alot of people that are probably not going to come so Im hoping that the list goes down alot.
Sunny
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Re: Question about people inviting themselves??
I had this problem, too. Not sure what to do about it. But be careful about people you 'know' won't come. We got a lot of surprises!
SeptemberBride03
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Re: Question about people inviting themselves??
I think its a good idea to say what you're saying. We haven't finalized our list yet, but we are planning on having a small, close family wedding.
I wasn't sure if I could afford everyone from my work and I had to say that for a while. Then when I decided to invite some of them and asked them for their addresses - they were all surprised and said they didn't think they were invited and had understood why. I'm so glad that they will be there - but they obviously wouldn't have been hurt by not being invited.
Danielle&Scott
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Re: Question about people inviting themselves??
Yeah...I know that alot of the people that my mother said wont come, may come. The thing is that they live out of state and alot of them are elderly...so thats why she thinks they wont come.
There is only a few people from work I would invite. Most of my friends got laid off or quit recently. I would still like to invite them though.
We were thinking about sending the invites out to the people that live far away and to the people that we dont think are going to the wedding 2 weeks early. And then have them send in their RSVP's a week early or right before we send out the other invitations...So if we do get alot of 'no's' we can turn around and sent invitations to the people we work with.
Maribelle7777
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Re: Question about people inviting themselves??
I had one girl say that to me and I just ignored her. She's a wackadoo and I don't want here there. If I ask her, then it's her fiance too and then another friend that she's good friends with and always hang out together and she's even more of a wackadoo. Every time I see them they make such a huge to doo about how perfect FH and I are together, how lovely the ring is. Nice to hear but all the time? Ick. So whenever they mention the wedding I just change the subject
SeptemberBride03
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Re: Question about people inviting themselves??
One thing with sending them early is that you usually get the yes's right away and don't get the no's until the end. We invited 246 and are having 180 - but after the first three weeks we only had 6 no's! We were panicking that everyone was coming! So, you might not know in enough time to send out more invites.
firegal
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Re: Question about people inviting themselves??
I don't know if there is a simple answer to this. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I know that it can get ridiculous. FH and I ran into one of his old neighbors while we were out to dinner on Friday night. She actually had the nerve to write her address down on a piece of paper for us and said she wants to come to the wedding. I just smiled and took the piece of paper but when we got home and I asked FH if he wanted to invite her, he said 'probably not'. I don't think he really wanted to confront her with an explanation - I think he's just hoping he wont' run into her again
Danielle&Scott
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Re: Question about people inviting themselves??
firegal, now that is some nerve. I havent come across that yet. The other day I was walking home and I ran into one of my mothers friends daughters and I was talking to her...She said I am invited to the wedding right? and I was just blinded...Didnt know what to say...I just said we didnt write up the list yet....and then she said well we are friends, i just figured i was invited. I would say we are aquantinces..>We do not hang out....I talk to her when I see her, but thats about it. Her mother is invited to the wedding....though she is a sweetheart.
princess99
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Re: Question about people inviting themselves??
We are having the same problem, people are making it like it is the wedding of the year. In fact this weeknd we were at FH friends house from work, and someone there asked us if she was'in'!!!! Then I get, my sister and brother in law have always invited you to there house for holidays and you have come for a few, are you going to invite them?! We managed to get the list doen from 186 to 162, and it is starting to grow AGAIN!!!!!This is so fustrating, we said we are the bride and groom here, and we have total control over this, but it does not feel that way!
HearzBellz
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Re: Question about people inviting themselves??
We are doing the same thing with the invites....we are sending them to the anticipated 'no's' 3 weeks earlier & the ones that are going overseas as well. We have a 'b' list, but of course no one knows that.
As far as what to say to people, I just tell them we have not yet finalized the guest list & we are trying to include as many friends and family as we can. Most people know that we are paying ourselves, & they understand.
For people who are completely unimportant or annoying & insist that they are going with someone who is invited as a guest -that I did have to put my foot down & tell them that they weren't invited for a reason - they we not only rude to me, but also rude to my guest who was legitimately invited by putting them in an uncomfortable situation.
butterfly20
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Re: Question about people inviting themselves??
you should just tell people that its a small wedding, and a tight guest list... you may want to think of inviting the brother in laws brother and parents(ive heard of a few people doing that)
