OK, so I know when you decline to go to a wedding, you are not obligated to send a gift, but if you are good friends with the family and have been for years, isn't it proper to send a gift?
We have gotten quite a few RSVP declines for our wedding. We got one check that was sent with the RSVP and one gift from our registry. Nothing else. My mom is upset b/c most of these people that declined are long-time family friends. My mom said she wasn't able to go to their weddings b/c of distance and always sent a check right away. One the back of many the RSVP cards, most people wrote notes saying, 'well be thinking of you on your wedding day. Congratulations!' I have a feeling we will not be getting a card or gift in the mail...
I know when I have declined weddings, I have always sent a card and a gift right away.
What's the deal?
MrsCM
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Re: Question about RSVP decline and gift
In my experience, some people will decline and send something but most will not. I think it depends a little bit on the person's generosity and a little bit on how close you are with the guest.
whtevjenny
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Re: Question about RSVP decline and gift
i don't know if there is a hard and fast rule on this. My sister and I were JUST talking about this last night - I'm curious to hear your opinions!
I Love Paolo
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Re: Question about RSVP decline and gift
Posted by shanny200
OK, so I know when you decline to go to a wedding, you are not obligated to send a gift, but if you are good friends with the family and have been for years, isn't it proper to send a gift?
We have gotten quite a few RSVP declines for our wedding. We got one check that was sent with the RSVP and one gift from our registry. Nothing else. My mom is upset b/c most of these people that declined are long-time family friends. My mom said she wasn't able to go to their weddings b/c of distance and always sent a check right away. One the back of many the RSVP cards, most people wrote notes saying, 'well be thinking of you on your wedding day. Congratulations!' I have a feeling we will not be getting a card or gift in the mail...
I know when I have declined weddings, I have always sent a card and a gift right away.
What's the deal?
I have gotten gifts AFTER the wedding from people who declined. Some beleive that its bad luck or something of that nature to send a gift before. You may have to wait until after the wedding to see if they send a gift.
shanny200
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Re: Question about RSVP decline and gift
I'm curious to see if anyone will send gifts after the wedding. I hope so! My parents are so upset!
WeddingGem
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Re: Question about RSVP decline and gift
Posted by I Love Paolo
Posted by shanny200
OK, so I know when you decline to go to a wedding, you are not obligated to send a gift, but if you are good friends with the family and have been for years, isn't it proper to send a gift?
We have gotten quite a few RSVP declines for our wedding. We got one check that was sent with the RSVP and one gift from our registry. Nothing else. My mom is upset b/c most of these people that declined are long-time family friends. My mom said she wasn't able to go to their weddings b/c of distance and always sent a check right away. One the back of many the RSVP cards, most people wrote notes saying, 'well be thinking of you on your wedding day. Congratulations!' I have a feeling we will not be getting a card or gift in the mail...
I know when I have declined weddings, I have always sent a card and a gift right away.
What's the deal?
I have gotten gifts AFTER the wedding from people who declined. Some beleive that its bad luck or something of that nature to send a gift before. You may have to wait until after the wedding to see if they send a gift.
I have heard this too. Quite a few people believe this. Its similar with babies. People think buying a gift too soon is bad luck. It has to be after a certain month.
Christine73
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Re: Question about RSVP decline and gift
I think it depends on the situation. If they are people that you have given wedding gifts to, or your parents have given wedding gifts to their children, then they should definately send a gift.
shanny200
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Re: Question about RSVP decline and gift
We are having a small wedding, so we only invited close friends and family, SO, you would think they would all send us a gift...we'll see, I guess...
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that people are just being superstitious!
marinai7
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Re: Question about RSVP decline and gift
Sometimes people will send a gift after the wedding.
coldasice217
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Technically etiquette dictates that you are supposed to send a gift, but most people don't. I just posted the same thing on 09...of the 30 people that have said no to us so far, we've only received one check. I'm surprised that we got one from them even since we are not close, but I'm honestly not expecting gifts from any nos, so whatever we do get I'll count as a bonus.
shanny200
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Really? Most people DON'T send a gift? I thought most people DO sends gifts...well, obviously not in our case. What bothers me is that these people are close family friends and our family has given the wedding gifts, even when we declined! Irritating, but I guess I'll have to get over it.
firenice1434
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Re: Question about RSVP decline and gift
I agree with most of what everyone else has said...I have heard of people sending gives after, just b/c of procrastination (not a good excuse, but what can you do). I would just give it time and see what happens.
JACK808
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Re: Question about RSVP decline and gift
If your wedding is not until the end of November, I would not be surprised if you didn't receive gifts until then. I always send a gift if I need to RSVP 'no', but quite honestly if I know I can't attend a wedding my first priority is getting the response card back to the bride and groom ASAP. I usually send the actual wedding card later.
That being said, the majority of people who RSVP'd 'no' to our wedding did not send cards or gifts.
sophisticat13
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Re: Question about RSVP decline and gift
I agree that the proper etiquette is to send a gift with the invite decline. However, in my experience, most ppl didn't I was (pleasantly) surprised by a few ppl but most, including some cousins on FH/DH's side, didn't. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do if they don't Like you said, just try to let it go...if there is an affiar of theirs you can't attend, just know you aren't obligated to send a gift either...
JenBill61210
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Re: Question about RSVP decline and gift
when my sister got married in dec there were a few family members who sent a $50 check back w/ the invite decline... but not everyone sent something. So it really is up to you and how close you are to the person i think
