Question about tipping????.......

OK, who do you tip and who do you not tip???

DJ
Florist
Photographer (private guy, his own company)
Assistant
Hairstylist that comes to your home? (If I'm paying $150 for my hair do I have to also tip her??)
Make-up artist that comes to your home (same as hairstylist)
Officiant - paying $450 for him to do a 1/2 hour ceremony. Am I suppose to also tip him? I could understand a church because you make the donation to the church so you tip the priest.
ceremony harpist - Also paying close to $500 for 1 hour. Am I expected to tip her?
Videographer
Seamstress at bridal center - paid for the dress and about $55 in alterations. Am I expected to also tip the seamstress?
Matre Di - $2 per head I think?
Staff at my reception palce?

Am I forgetting anything??

Christine

I don't know the answer to this...and I thank you for posting it because I also need the info...

I know you are supposed to tip the DJ and the Photographer, the Maitre D and you make up artists. I probably would forgoe on the officiant and the harpist if they are independent people.

But I'm not sure the 'correct' ettiquete.

See my thinking was this; if you are hiring a 'company' and they send someone out, you tip them because the campany is getting the money and they are probably only getting either a per hour rate or a set salary. So with this in mind,

I would:

not tip the officiant (he's getting ALL the money)
not tip the hairstylist (they usually do this on their own not through the salon. If I was going to the salon and paying the salon I would tip the hairstylist)
not tip the make-up artist (same as hiarstylist)
not tip the DJ (my DJ, it's his own company. He keeps his equipment in his garage and he is charging me $695, why would I tip him and extra $50?)
I haven't chose a photographer yet but if I chose a 'studio' I would tip but if I choose an independent photographer I would probably only tip the assistant.
Matre Di - yes
Staff - yes
Videographer (same as photographer)
Florist - no
Seamstree - no

I'm I totally off here in my thinking here??

Christine

Unfortuantely the staff at the reception hall does not see dime of that 18%. I know from experience. I worked in a catering hall fo rmany years. That 18% actually pays their salary, so I would tip each person $20 who works on your party.

Just a note - most 'service charges' are absolutely NOT gratuity. The staff never sees a penny of it. It pays their measly salary. So basically your pp cost is for food/liquor, set up stuff, etc. and 'service charge' pays the staff. So, you are still expected to tip. Check with the caterer to make sure. You don't tip the officiant.

Youdon't have to tip anyone who owns their business. But, if they went above and beyond I still did. You don't usually tip the Florist, but you do tip their drivers/set up assistants ($15-20pp).

Also, it is common to tip the stylist/make up artist. Also, the special events manager at your hall. They usually get as much as your maitre d'. That was a big one I didn't know about.

You can also tip your valets, coat room attendants, and/or lobby hostesses in advance and have a sign that tells guests that these are taken care of.

I bought the seamstress a gift rather than giving her a tip. I got to know her through all of my fittings and felt it was more appropriate. I also sent my DJ who was the owner, and his wife who came, a gift as well. I will get our photographer (also the owner) a gift as well as a small tip ($100), and I tipped his assistant.

Hmm...there's also the bridal attendant and some places expect you to tip the head chef.

Most importantly though, tip the staff (through the special events manager, or individually) a little each, plus the maitre d' $2-3 pp. They really do work for it, and that service charge should be called something else since it can be misleading. It's 99% of the time not gratuity...

Definatley tip the staff on your own. The gratuity does not go to them and even if you give it to the matre di, it will not go to them (no matter how nice you think your matre di is) I use to bartend on the side at weddings and large functions at lots of place on LI and everyplace I have gone to the staff gets their 7.50 an hour or a shift pay of about $50. They really count on tips. I use to make tons of money because I got an hourly rate or a shift pay plus the money in my tip jar on the bar. I use to feel so bad watching these people bust their buts and I was making at least $300 to $400 more than them.

Chris

Yup, you can give it to the special events manager for the staff. They should split it. Or, put together a sep. envelope for the maitre d' and one for the rest of the staff (waitstaff-valets, etc. should be tipped seperately).

It's not a scam, it's just a weird way of wording it. It ****s, sorry. Unfortunately, staff sometimes gets stiffed or at least doesn't get what they deserve b/c people feel they are already paying for 'service'. It's a shame. We made sure to tip well. Plus, the Harrison House gives you a guideline for what you should and who you should tip.

DO NOT Give the tip to the maitre d to hand out. The staff will never get it! I promise you this!!!! What we did at my brothers wedding was ask that they have the staff get together before the wedding and then have a family member, etc... give them each an envelope and asking them to make this a great night for all of your guests. Trust me it will make them very happy and you will get EXCELLENT service. Better to tip in the beginnging of the night so you give them a little incentive.

This is also what I do when I go to wedding, tip a little in the beginning of the night... then if they were really good throw them another little something at the end.

but, only tip at the beginning of the night if you plan to tip well. If they feel that your cheap service goes out the window. IMO (although I usually am a big tipper b/c I worked as a waitress through college ).

OMG, Are you telling me I have to tip the waitstaff too?!?
How much do you think is appropriate?