question about your DH's views on breast feeding

I'm just curious...no other reason for asking..lol

My FH has told me in the past he does not want me breast feeding. He thinks it's 'gross'. Jealous maybe? I don't know. He says no way does he want me doing it in public.
Well hello I don't think I'd really want to whip out a boob in public either but if it's done discreetly then what's the problem? I've actually been out with women shopping with their babies and they started BF'ing them and I didn't even realize it until they were in the middle of it they do it so discreetly. But for his sake fine I won't do it in public. Gotta pick my battles However I'm going to do it when the time comes. It's way cheaper, obviously, and from what I've been told it not only is a loving bonding experience but also helps with natural immunities. I'm a little nervous of passing any medicine that I'm taking now (I would have to come off it before trying to become pregnant but I'm worried about any residual effects) but that the doctor can only answer.

Are any of your husbands unhappy with your BF'ing decision? Could I pump right away for times I am in public and can't go somewhere quiet to BF? Or should I only BF at home and supplement with formula when in public? Is it OK to do that?

Just wanted some information for the future and find out what the male consensus on BF'ing is. Thanks

FH was just fine with my decision to bf before Emma was born. He also felt the same way about not doing it in public. Once she was born he said he couldnt imagine doing it any other way. As for the bfing in public he changed his mind on that too. He went from being completly against it to being all for it, yes only if I am completly covered.

I would have pumped and fed Emma bottles but she never took one. She refused and I was not pushing it since I am home 24-7 with her. This is her time. She will only BF for a short time in the whole grand scheme of things and I was willing to give that freedom up for a while.

BFing takes support from others to be successful and Im glad that your DH is that way for you! Good luck when the time comes.

I think that the only mature way to make decisions on how you will nurture and care for a future child is to educate yourselves as much as you possibly can. That way, you can make the decision on whether to BF or not based upon knowledge and not pre-disposed feelings [ie, 'it's gross'] about the act itself.
It is quite possible that your FH only feels this way about BFing b/c he regards your breasts as sexual organs, which as we know, could not be further from the truth!

Go to the bookstore and buy some books about the importance and techniques of BFing, and start to understand now what your options might be. Many women do pump their breastmilk in advance of being away from their babies for a short length of time, or when they will be in public, so that is possible. But, it is very important that you don't offer the baby a bottle TOO much in the early weeks [if you can help it], b/c it will cause nipple confusion and it will effect your milk supply negatively. The true goal of BFing is to get your baby latched to your breast for as many feedings as possible. Pumps, bottles and other modern supplies are (thankfully) available to make a busy Mom's life a bit easier.

Regarding your meds....yes, your doctor should be able to tell you whether or not it is known that the meds can be passed through breastmilk or not. If it is not known for sure, then chances are you will have to stop taking whatever medication it is.

Good luck!

Thanks Claudia. I'm all for it (if I can do it!) and I think you're right about FH thinking about my breasts as something for 'under the sheets', as it may. He'll just have to share, when it's time (ok that sounds weird but you know what I mean!!)

As for the meds, I would have to go off it either way just because it shows slight chance of birth defects if taken when conception happens. So I don't want to chance it. I need to find studies on whether it stays in the body and how it affects breast milk and if so how long I need to be off it. I'm not taking any chances.

Thanks!!

Steve was all for BF'd. He tells Damien they are on loan to him for now

BF'd when you first start is stressful enough with an understanding partner, so if he is against nip that in the bud before.

I am lucky because my DH and the rest of my family are very supportive, also one of my good friends has BF both her children for a year. So she is a good system of support and answered all my ?'s when I had them.

I totally agree with Claud 100%. Education is the key. So is a positive attitude. Try not to listen to people who had a hard time(no offense to anyone ) Say to yourself I AM going to BF. I do have to admit I had no problems. Damien latched on right away, no problem The nurses actually couldn't believe he was my first child.

As for BF'd in public. Except for when he got shots, I fed him in front of his peditrician(a male) I have yet to do that, Steve would have no problem with it if it is done discreetly.

Once I go back to work(March) I will have to BF in either his classroom (Day Care) or take him to my office. We will see how I feel about that when the time comes.

HTH

I agree with Stacey above, try to get your husbands support before hand. It is pretty stressful in the beginning and will be much easier for you if you have his support.

I am one of those people does not have a problem when women BF in public. I, however, am way too modest to do it myself. Plus, I have HUGE boobs and there is no way that I could latch her on discreetly. You can definitely pump for times that you will be out in public. Or you can use formula if you dont like to pump. I do alot of pumping because we are on the go alot. This is just what works for me. I was lucky in that my baby had no problem going from boob to bottle back to boob, but I have read that there is a specific time period that you should introduce the bottle so as not to cause nipple confusion.

As the others said above, its best to get educated first.

Tina

I guess I don't see how feeding your baby could ever be gross. I agree with the other girls, your husband needs to learn WHY bfing is something you want to do.
I don't think I could have continued bfing without Scott's support. Molly and I have not had an easy time bfing and everyday it is a challenge. If Scott was not so helpful and support I would have given by now.
I never thought I would bf in public but I really don't see anything wrong with it now. I have yet to do it because of all the latching problems we have- it would be near impossible for me to do without the World seeing everything. But once you and the baby are bfing easily bfing in public can be done without anyone even knowing.

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Posted by JennRenee

Patrick really wanted me to try to BF. I really felt it wasn't for me and he respected my decision.

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this is where we are right now

My son is 16 years old now & I did not breast feed-I was a very young mother & had an aunt that had a blocked duct shortly before my son was born so I also decided it wasn't for me.
We have also decided that when we have a baby in the future I will try BFing, I plan to be home full time & I will try it, but if it doesn't happen easily I will go the formula route-since I already have a very healthy child that was raised on formula.
I think in your case your FH just needs more info & not everything works for everyone-you'll have to see what suites your family best when the time comes.