Question and VENT!!!

how does everyone handle the situation of holidays with your family and FH's family.

My family celebrates every major holiday - christmas, new years, palm sunday, easter, etc.
my FH's family NEVER celebrates. Usually he would go see his mother and i would stay with my family but since we are engaged this has become a huge issue - its usually just him and his mom (who i DO NOT get along with). every time i go there she has nothing but downright vicious things to say to me - its just really depressing to spend a holiday like that when i could be with all my family....

i guess i just need some advice on how to deal with this and some hugs

sticky situation.... if theyre family [FH's family] doesnt celebrate the holidays than why do you even have to go their ....might as well go to your familys house and bring FH along with youu....


you can tell him you dont feel comfortable around his mom... dont worry my FMIL is horrible too

I understand because both of our families celebrate all holidays. Last year we did Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. This year we are going to switch. IT is a transition for both families. It was the first Christmas I was away from home.

Our families are pretty understanding but it is very difficult. It was hard being away from my family for Christmas. But as long as everyone is understanding then it will work

that is a rough situation!! My family is pretty small compared to FH's....but for us we celebrate more on Christmas Eve, whereas his family does more on Christmas Day, Thanksgiving you can always do dinner at your house & dessert at his mom's (or vice versa, but dessert would normally be a shorter stay...so I'd go for that in your situation). If it's just his mom and he doesn't have any siblings, then maybe you can see if she would go with you guys to your parents house? May not be an ideal situation, but at least then you wouldn't be away from your family. I hope everything works out!!

We split Christmas and Christmas eve.

Then we do every holiday too, and FH's family is only him, his mom and his sister so in order to avoid missing out on our stuff, they started joining us at my Mom's house. It makes me crazy but it makes him happy so I deal.

HTH - it's better than not seeing my family and it's only for Easter, Thanksgiving really.

we split the holidays

However - now that I am celebrating my last holidays as a single woman. . . I refuse to budge - Just this once - I am staying home for EVERY holiday until the wedding and he can stay with his family or come to my house.

I know I am being a brat but luckily he understands that I am kind of freaking out - so he is coming for Easter and then we are NOT leaving early at all but if after we are done at my house - his family is still at his brother's. . .we will go there for a little while.

But no running around like a lunatic and eating twice or leaving early. . . after we are married we will go back to splitting holidays.

I totally understand where you are coming from with not wanting to ruin your holidays - my family is EXACTLY like yours and we make every holiday special . . .FH's family, well, you have heard it all

We should have just married each other and we would never have this problem.

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Posted by chatxleau24

I think its important to split it 50/50 for the holidays unless your FH doesnt want to go to his family. But as long as he goes to see mom - you should probably go as well - or how about inviting her to spend it with your family?

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well last year my mom invited her to our house for easter and it was totally an awkward situation - his mom is almost as old as my grandparenst so its like awkward - nobody has anything in common. plus she is very....rough (like she curses ALL the time and chain smokes)

its just sad that i have to leave my family to sit around with his mom just because its a holiday - its hard to explain

Go with your gut on this! I would stick with your family on the holidays but offer to goto his mom's the weekend before or after the major holiday so he doesn't feel like his family is being left out!!
Sorry you have to deal with this!!!! HUGS!!!

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for easter and it was totally an awkward situation - his mom is almost as old as my grandparenst so its like awkward

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how horrible is it that my first reaction was 'wow- she's so lucky that her FMIL is as old as her grandparents. she won't have to spend her whole life dealing with her because she's already so old'. what i would give to bury my FILs.... am i going to hell now?