Question for Jewish Brides-Aufruf

FH is having his aufruf on November 2. I was having a debate with FMIL over what exactly happens. She made it sound like both families with both myself and FH are called up to do an aliyah (prayer) all at once and then they pelt us with candy. Nothing else is said about us.

I went to one and I thought that the grooms family says one, the brides family says one, and the bride and groom say one, they walk you around and throw candy at you and the rabbi says something about marriage and the couple.

Her way sounds so impersonal, I don't think it can be right! Can anyone help and tell me what actually happens (it is a reform temple, a huge reform temple)

TIA!!

Thanks! Hmm...now I wonder

it depends on the synagogue - there's no one way that it's done.

Only more traditional conservative/orthodox synagogues have only the groom do it. Egalitarian congregations have the bride as well (and families, etc). Most reform congregations are egalitarian.

So, if that's how your fmil says it's done, and it's her temple, she should know. If not... just ask the rabbi!

Im conservative and my FH is having his aufruf at a conservative but liberal shul. Traditionally it is the groom, his father and the birde's father who are called up for an aliyah but depending on how liberal the shul is, the women can be called up alsoin addition to other members of the groom's family. Candy is thrown for a sweet life.

The tradition of the aufruf itself is for the groom to have a special honor on the sabbath before his wedding in front of the comunity, thousands of years ago there was even a special groom's gate that they would walk through at the temple (at least there was according to the book I read!)

At our Aufruf both DH and I were called to the Torah for an aliyah.

like some of the previous posters wrote, it depends on the synagogue: for Reform it can take place at either a friday night or saturday morning shabbat service and both the bride and bridegroom are called up for an aliyah

for more traditional synagogues, it takes place on a saturday morning shabbat service and it is only the groom who gets the aliyah. in a Conservative synagogue, sometimes the bride gets called up too but she generally does not get to participate in the aliyah.

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Posted by evnme

At our Aufruf both DH and I were called to the Torah for an aliyah.

like some of the previous posters wrote, it depends on the synagogue: for Reform it can take place at either a friday night or saturday morning shabbat service and both the bride and bridegroom are called up for an aliyah

for more traditional synagogues, it takes place on a saturday morning shabbat service and it is only the groom who gets the aliyah. in a Conservative synagogue, sometimes the bride gets called up too but she generally does not get to participate in the aliyah.

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I knew you'd have a helpful answer when you found this thread!

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

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Posted by evnme

At our Aufruf both DH and I were called to the Torah for an aliyah.

like some of the previous posters wrote, it depends on the synagogue: for Reform it can take place at either a friday night or saturday morning shabbat service and both the bride and bridegroom are called up for an aliyah

for more traditional synagogues, it takes place on a saturday morning shabbat service and it is only the groom who gets the aliyah. in a Conservative synagogue, sometimes the bride gets called up too but she generally does not get to participate in the aliyah.

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I knew you'd have a helpful answer when you found this thread!

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no problem!
i'm here and happy to help!

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Posted by evnme

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

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Posted by evnme

At our Aufruf both DH and I were called to the Torah for an aliyah.

like some of the previous posters wrote, it depends on the synagogue: for Reform it can take place at either a friday night or saturday morning shabbat service and both the bride and bridegroom are called up for an aliyah

for more traditional synagogues, it takes place on a saturday morning shabbat service and it is only the groom who gets the aliyah. in a Conservative synagogue, sometimes the bride gets called up too but she generally does not get to participate in the aliyah.

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I knew you'd have a helpful answer when you found this thread!

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no problem!
i'm here and happy to help!

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Yes, everyone was very helpful!