question honest answers welcomed

does sex define your marriage/relationship
or
does your marriage/relationship define your sex life.

my relationship is going good, but i still find myself not wanting to be intimate, i don't know what is wrong with me.

I think my relationship defines my sex life.

If you're having intimacy issues, I think you should ask yourself why and really try to explore this. Is your self esteem low? Are you unhappy with yourself? Maybe your fiancee said something that upset you and you didn't realize the effect it had on you? If you still can't figure it out, perhaps you should talk to your FH or try therapy.

I wish you lots of luck and happiness.

i agree... my relationship defines my sex life too, If you sex life defines your relationship than i feel like thats a big problem! because although sex is not everything, meaning it should not be the PRIMARY thing that brings both of you together, however it is an integral part and it bring two people that already love each other so much closer...

oh and about not wanting to be intimate, maybe is it ur birth control pills - that is decreasing your sex drive? If so i'd talk to u doctor...

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Posted by luvabul

oh and about not wanting to be intimate, maybe is it ur birth control pills - that is decreasing your sex drive? If so i'd talk to u doctor...

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absolutely agree! switch, go off them, it makes a big difference!

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Posted by hmpena

I think my relationship defines my sex life.

If you're having intimacy issues, I think you should ask yourself why and really try to explore this. Is your self esteem low? Are you unhappy with yourself? Maybe your fiancee said something that upset you and you didn't realize the effect it had on you? If you still can't figure it out, perhaps you should talk to your FH or try therapy.

I wish you lots of luck and happiness.

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Agreed

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Posted by nmagel

my relationship defines my sex life. When things are awesome w/ us, it's awesome in the sack!!

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lol...so true for me too!

That's not so in my case. In my particular case, sometimes things are great between us and we're really happy, but with him working full time, including weekends, and in school at night, and me doing the same with my job and with grad school, we're just so tired and only see each other for 2 or 3 hours a day, during which we need to eat, chill out, and catch up on TV! Plus, the last BC pill I was on made me the coldest cold fish ever. Nothing to do with our relationship.

Just b/c your 'love life' is slow, doesn't necessarily mean there is anything wrong with your relationship. Maybe you just need to make time for each other - go away for a weekend, or the opposite - stay a whole weekend in. Good luck.

good sex = good relationship

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Posted by nmagel

my relationship defines my sex life. When things are awesome w/ us, it's awesome in the sack!!

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DITTO!