QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

OctGroom Posted: May 04, 2004 01:10 PM

QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

Some people are very good at confrontation.
Others are not. They dread it.

I'm in the second group.. I like to wait and even suppress it and then bring it up at an appropraiate time/ or when I feel ready for it.

Opinions?

don424 Posted: May 04, 2004 01:17 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

bring on the confrontation!!

Julestrd Posted: May 04, 2004 01:19 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

When confronting things with FH I have to tell him as soon as see him or as soon as I remember, it eats me up to not tell him something that is bothering me. But I always start by telling him, 'Bernie, pinky swear you won't get mad or start a fight' then he knows what's about to come and we discuss from there.

WeDidIt! Posted: May 04, 2004 01:19 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

Nine times out of ten I will bring it up . I don't do the whole deal with it, forget about, thing ver well. If I don't talk about it and it is really bothering me it comes out in the way that I talk to him.

Nothing is wrong with confrontation. ButIi will admit there are some things that I will bring up and I could have just left it alone. Confrontation is good, but not all the time. But I am working on that.

boosh78201 Posted: May 04, 2004 01:20 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

I hold nothing back!

don424 Posted: May 04, 2004 01:21 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

nice pic

ChristineC68 Posted: May 04, 2004 01:21 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

It depends on what and how serious the issue is.

If it's something that will need time to work through or that will be extremely emotional, I will wait until we have the time to discuss & recover.

boosh78201 Posted: May 04, 2004 01:22 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

thanks, trying to mix it up

don424 Posted: May 04, 2004 01:22 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

Posted by boosh78201

thanks, trying to mix it up

by the way, it's spelled 'ayatollah'

boosh78201 Posted: May 04, 2004 01:25 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

HAPPY NOW?

OctGroom Posted: May 04, 2004 01:33 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

Posted by Julestrd

'Bernie, pinky swear you won't get mad or start a fight'

I LIKE THAT!!!!

My FW is very easy to talk to.. I do hate confrontation I admit. I like being able to talk about tough stuff and not have to worry about her throwing an tantrum or a fit.

Still.. though I know it's vital to a relationship.. I do hate those uneasy moments. I know.. I sound like a wuss.

don424 Posted: May 04, 2004 01:38 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

Posted by boosh78201

HAPPY NOW?

very

nferrandi Posted: May 04, 2004 01:54 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

My FH and I don't keep too much inside. If one of us is mad/upset the other one knows it. lol! I'm like that with everyone and everything in my life, I'm not very good at biting my tongue. But FH is only confrontational with me, but not in a nasty way or anything. Part of it is that he feels comfortable coming to me with anything that bothers him, and part of it is that I think I've rubbed off on him. I wish he would just be more confrontational with other people in his life. He tends to back off so there's no arguement.

diamondgrlie Posted: May 04, 2004 03:03 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

I never think twice about confronting it right away. I think that is the biggest reason I love him. My parents dont communicate that well IMO and I am the opposite, I LOVE to talk. Me and FI have always been able to talk about anything, good or bad.

nov04LIbride Posted: May 04, 2004 03:15 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

It depends...I know some topics will really upset him. At times my FMIL really makes me angry, but he gets defensive about her(actually, he starts getting like ohhh you think your mother is so easy to deal with!). Our families are VERY different, and talking about the differences is hard because it turns into a battle of whose family is better...

september2004 Posted: May 04, 2004 03:24 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

i pick and choose my battles.

when i view something as important i will kick and scream and let it be known... since i do this rarely, FH knows when i raise hell it's because it's a 'big deal'...

lilmrs Posted: May 04, 2004 03:47 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

Posted by september2004

i pick and choose my battles.

when i view something as important i will kick and scream and let it be known... since i do this rarely, FH knows when i raise hell it's because it's a 'big deal'...

We are pretty much the same thing.

OctGroom Posted: May 04, 2004 03:55 PM

Re: QUESTION -- If you have a controversial topic to bring up with your FH/FW.. do you ever hestitate or dread confronting him/her to the point where you'll decide to just deal with it.

Posted by DLWDLG

Posted by september2004

i pick and choose my battles.

when i view something as important i will kick and scream and let it be known... since i do this rarely, FH knows when i raise hell it's because it's a 'big deal'...

We are pretty much the same thing.

Pick and choose is the way to go!