Question on Rehearsal Dinner...

Please don't quote...

Originally FH and I were going to pay, but just for the parents and the wedding party. Then my dad and his girlfriend offered, and then FH's parents offered. So now FH's parents will pay, since my family paid for the shower. My dad girlfriend has a daughter my age ( I call her my step-sister). My dad called me yesterday and said I should invite her because she is coming down early and it's the right thing to do. I know that most OOT guests are supposed to be invited, but sincemy wedding is OOT....that would mean inviting EVERYBODY...
What should I do? I'm afraid to invite her and have other people find out and be hurt that they weren't invited. But on the other hand, my FMIL invited people to my wedding I don't know, so what is 2 more people? What do you think?

i am in the same boat.....
everyone is an OOT guest and we had to let a few come to the RD to keep peace but then we had to draw the line....
i would invite her and try to not to talk about RD and it usually wont come up and no one will be the wiser

So you didn't invite your own siblings? To me siblings (step or not) should be invited wether or not they are in the wedding party.

If you are paying for everyone else then you should be paying for her/them too.

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Posted by anneandchris

So you didn't invite your own siblings? To me siblings (step or not) should be invited wether or not they are in the wedding party.

If you are paying for everyone else then you should be paying for her/them too.

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I am one of 8 children. My two sisters are involved in the wedding. I feel bad inviting all the other siblings and their children to the rehearsal dinner. That's almost another entire wedding....I'd hate to put that financial burden on my FIL's.....

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Posted by autumnbride10

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Posted by anneandchris

So you didn't invite your own siblings? To me siblings (step or not) should be invited wether or not they are in the wedding party.

If you are paying for everyone else then you should be paying for her/them too.

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I am one of 8 children. My two sisters are involved in the wedding. I feel bad inviting all the other siblings and their children to the rehearsal dinner. That's almost another entire wedding....I'd hate to put that financial burden on my FIL's.....

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I would say all siblings or none. Since your dad offered to pay - can you invite all of the siblings and have your dad pay for them and your FIL's cover the rest as planned. It would be a joint effort.

I think if you are close enough with her to consider her your step-sister she should be included in the RD. That's JMO... you don't need to explain to anyone who wasn't invited to the RD why she was invited.


OK, ETA: I just read about your other siblings... if you're not inviting all of your siblings, than why would you consider inviting your dad' GF's daughter... makes no sense and people WILL feel slighted.

You'll see them all at the wedding.

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Posted by anneandchris

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Posted by autumnbride10

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Posted by anneandchris

So you didn't invite your own siblings? To me siblings (step or not) should be invited wether or not they are in the wedding party.

If you are paying for everyone else then you should be paying for her/them too.

---

I am one of 8 children. My two sisters are involved in the wedding. I feel bad inviting all the other siblings and their children to the rehearsal dinner. That's almost another entire wedding....I'd hate to put that financial burden on my FIL's.....

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I would say all siblings or none. Since your dad offered to pay - can you invite all of the siblings and have your dad pay for them and your FIL's cover the rest as planned. It would be a joint effort.

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I wish it were that easy. My father is not the father of my siblings. I guess it's something I could ask him about. If he wants her, he may be willing to pay for the rest. I just feel so bad because he's already put so much $$$ out to the shower...

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Posted by autumnbride10

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Posted by anneandchris

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Posted by autumnbride10

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Posted by anneandchris

So you didn't invite your own siblings? To me siblings (step or not) should be invited wether or not they are in the wedding party.

If you are paying for everyone else then you should be paying for her/them too.

---

I am one of 8 children. My two sisters are involved in the wedding. I feel bad inviting all the other siblings and their children to the rehearsal dinner. That's almost another entire wedding....I'd hate to put that financial burden on my FIL's.....

---

I would say all siblings or none. Since your dad offered to pay - can you invite all of the siblings and have your dad pay for them and your FIL's cover the rest as planned. It would be a joint effort.

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I wish it were that easy. My father is not the father of my siblings. I guess it's something I could ask him about. If he wants her, he may be willing to pay for the rest. I just feel so bad because he's already put so much $$$ out to the shower...

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Sorry just assumed (and I shouldn't have) that he was their dad too. Then I wouldn't invite her if you are not inviting your other siblings -- fair is fair.

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Posted by anneandchris

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Posted by autumnbride10

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Posted by anneandchris

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Posted by autumnbride10

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Posted by anneandchris

So you didn't invite your own siblings? To me siblings (step or not) should be invited wether or not they are in the wedding party.

If you are paying for everyone else then you should be paying for her/them too.

---

I am one of 8 children. My two sisters are involved in the wedding. I feel bad inviting all the other siblings and their children to the rehearsal dinner. That's almost another entire wedding....I'd hate to put that financial burden on my FIL's.....

---

I would say all siblings or none. Since your dad offered to pay - can you invite all of the siblings and have your dad pay for them and your FIL's cover the rest as planned. It would be a joint effort.

---

I wish it were that easy. My father is not the father of my siblings. I guess it's something I could ask him about. If he wants her, he may be willing to pay for the rest. I just feel so bad because he's already put so much $$$ out to the shower...

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Sorry just assumed (and I shouldn't have) that he was their dad too. Then I wouldn't invite her if you are not inviting your other siblings -- fair is fair.

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Agreed. I'll tell him that unless he wants to pay for all, we can't pick and choose. My orignal decision was parents and bridal party, and I'm, going to have to stick to it....

We are just doing parents & bridal party & there spouses etc. It will be about 25 adults & 7 kids.
We are making it thursday b4 instead of friday...because friday would have to invite the OOT people & we can't afford that.