Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

NY2009 Posted: Jan 15, 2009 12:31 AM

Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

FH and I are both Roman Catholics. An opportunity opened up to snag the hall I wanted at a great rate. Only downside is it’s March 20, 2009. No problem, though. I have tons of help throwing this together.

Anyway, the church won’t marry us because the Archdiocese states that there is a 6 month waiting period before you can get married! I never knew that, and was shocked and crushed!

If we get married by an officiant in March, I know the state will recognize it but not the Church. But will the church then allow us to get married after the 6 months?

Does that make sense, I hope? So if we have a civil ceremony now, will the church allow us a religious ceremony in six months?

MitziandAndrew Posted: Jan 15, 2009 01:21 AM

Re: Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

I believe you could. I didn't know there was a wait! wow! you should talk to an officiant or the priest.

lori7570 Posted: Jan 15, 2009 09:26 AM

Re: Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

I'm surprised about that!!! Maybe talk to the church directly...

lucamon Posted: Jan 15, 2009 09:35 AM

Re: Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

I know someone who eloped and got married in church 10 years later. Why don't you find out from your church?

little j Posted: Jan 15, 2009 09:36 AM

Re: Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

Where did you hear about this 6 month ruling? We just spoke with a priest this week, and I was under the impression that as long as you did Pre-Cana (they even have 2-full day weekend programs to speed the process), they can start the planning. I would think the biggest thing would be securing time at a church.

Also, if your church does Marriage Banns, that process takes 3 weeks.

I would speak to your pastor asap. Have you been engaged a while? I dont really see there being an issue.

But then again, i could be surprised.

christine2010 Posted: Jan 15, 2009 09:43 AM

Re: Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

that sounds a little strange to me. my brother got engaged in december & was married by april in a catholic church by a priest.

lillprincess54 Posted: Jan 15, 2009 09:54 AM

Re: Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

Our church( Roman Catholic) you had to book the wedding at least 1 yr in adavance to get married in the church. Once we met with him to book the date, we didnt have to see him again until a few months b4 the wedding. So i dont think that 6 months in uncommon.

The church will allow you to have a civil cermony and then get married there too. I would just contact your priest and see what the process is so you at least get it started

NY2009 Posted: Jan 15, 2009 10:43 AM

Re: Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

This came directly from the preist when we spoke on the phone yesterday. We have an appoinment to meet tomorrow.

I looked up the 6 month rule on Archdiocese page and it appears to be true. I don't know if it's because the process can take that long if you have special circumstances, or if it's a thing with getting church time, etc.

But when I spoke to the preist I told him we have been engaged for 5+ years and wanted to do this in March of this year. He said it would be immpossible because cannon law states 6 months.

<------------confused

So I told FH we just do a cival ceremony now, and a religious one later. FH said to make sure that the church would allow that, but I am not sure. Shouldn't be a problem, correct?

JamDancer Posted: Jan 15, 2009 10:44 AM

Re: Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

I've never heard of that. It might differ to each church (or diocese). Is this a church you MUST got married at? Is looking into anothe catholic church an option?

We are getting married at a catholic church that neither of us are parishioners of and it was fine. Our priest is very laid-back, some are stricter than others.

lauraandrob2009 Posted: Jan 15, 2009 08:55 PM

Re: Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

I would check with another RC church....I've only heard there are certain things you need to do beforehand (like pre Cana - which can be done in 2 days and getting copies of your baptismal certificate etc. )

kimmaymb20 Posted: Jan 15, 2009 09:01 PM

Re: Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

Its 6-8 months depending on your church. My chruch states in the bulletine that you must make arangements 6 months prior. That was the frist thing and only thing so far I have done for my wedding. You can get married in the church I think even if you are already married but I would def check that one out.

geegee827 Posted: Jan 15, 2009 09:54 PM

Re: Question on wedding Officiant vs. Roman Catholic Priest

A friend of mine was married in a civil ceremony before her church wedding (about 2 years before). She and her husband had to go through pre-cana and all that before they could get married in the church.

My cousin is going through this now. Her and her husband (who have been married for 6 years) have to go through pre-cana and then get married again in the church.

Just be aware, that some churches/priests will give you a hard time about doing it this way.