Question regarding Bachelorette Party issue...

I don't post much on the message boards (however I have FMd a few people), however I do read the great advice that you ladies have to offer, so I figured I'd ask everyone their opinion on this situation: One of my BMs is being very difficult concerning the BP...and actually everything in general, but mostly that. She hasn't said that this is the reason why, but she was engaged about 4 years ago for 6 mos and the guy called everything off. She talks about the guy a lot still and it has obviously really affected her current life. Since I started seriously dating my now fiance she has stopped calling or returning my calls, however email and text messages are fine, and when we see each other it's like nothing is wrong. This is a girl that I used to spend every Saturday night with and we'd talk on the phone every day. Now that I'm engaged she has become somewhat demanding and has made herself 'Head Bridesmaid' although my sister is the MOH. I told the girls that for their dresses they could wear whatever black dress they want--everyone either has or could use a black dress. She had a problem with it...it wasn't 'specific enough'. She was there with everyone when I found my wedding dress and belittled everyone for not 'helping' me enough. At the e-party she needed to be the center of attention. Now discussion about the BP is going on and she's said that all she will do (or 'can' do due to $ issues) is dinner and drinks in the city one night. I live with my FH and to be completely honest I'd rather not be coming home to him the night of my BP. His is in August in Vegas and due to conflicting schedules we couldn't have them on the same weekends. So I came up with the idea of either AC for an overnight Sat into Sun, or an All-Inclusive to Cancun. I found an All-Inclusive deal for 4 days/3 nights to Cancun for $499. Figure drinks/dinner in Manhattan all night or an overnight in AC would probably cost the same once you factor in drink prices, transportation, food, etc. She has adamantly said that all she'll do is Manhattan...even after I broke it all down for her financially. She said she understands that I don't want to come back here after my party the same night, but she just can't swing the other trips due to $ and not to make plans around her. I've repeatedly told her it's all the same price! I just don't get it. I'm not NOT having one, although at this point I'm almost ready to just say forget it. I just don't know what to do. Do I just decide on AC? I figure that's the better option anyway--a couple of BMs are single moms and might not be able to get away to Cancun for that long, but they could definitely do an overnight in AC. Any advice???
TIA

well here are some hugs

I would suggest AC and Cancun to your BP and your friends and see what the majority wants. Do not sacrifice on the fact that you want to go away for the night. That is one thing that you want and you should not give that up. I was just ask the girls who are coming to your bachelorette party what they think

Thanks for the advice and the hugs! I've actually asked the whole bridal party and everyone else who would be coming and I get the same answer every time 'I'll do whatever you want and go wherever you want to go', which is very nice, but makes me feel even worse that this one girl, in all liklihood, won't end up being there...

I would ask the BP to make a choice. one or the other. If she cant do it due to $ then she cant do it. If the rest of them can then go for it. I wouldnt want to sacrifice a night out with the girls being miserable b/c its not what you wanted it to be.

If she can't swing the trip - no problem, she doesn't go. I'm having my bachelorette party in Vegas and TWO of my three girls can't make it. I understand and I will definitely miss them a ton, but I'm still going with my other BM and with a few other friends - whoever can make it.

Money is such a personal issue that you should just present the options to ALL your girls and let the majority decide. That, or YOU decide and whoever can make it does, and whoever can't saves themselves $500.

I hope it works out for you!

Thanks for the advice everyone! After thinking about it and reading your posts, I think I've decided to just plan the trip to AC for Saturday night into Sunday with a lingerie party-type thing at another friend's house the Friday before. If she can't make the trip to AC maybe she'll be able to do the party at the house that Friday night. And if she can't do that either then I'm just not going to stress about it. I'm always trying to make everyone happy, but as one of my BMs told me 'it's impossible to please everyone'...and I guess she's right! Thanks again!!

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Posted by KMTree

Thanks for the advice everyone! After thinking about it and reading your posts, I think I've decided to just plan the trip to AC for Saturday night into Sunday with a lingerie party-type thing at another friend's house the Friday before. If she can't make the trip to AC maybe she'll be able to do the party at the house that Friday night. And if she can't do that either then I'm just not going to stress about it. I'm always trying to make everyone happy, but as one of my BMs told me 'it's impossible to please everyone'...and I guess she's right! Thanks again!!

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thats a great decision!! remember u can't please all the people all the time. and this is UR weddings so as long as most of ur BP doesn't have a problem with AC, i see nothing wrong with it.

I would try to accomodate your friends a little specially if they are moms...
XOXOXO
Kitty