Question. (Wedding related) Please be honest.

Is it okay to invite bigger kids, but not babies?
(Even if the bigger KIDS are not related and the babies are?)
We were going to invite select babies (for our own personal reasons-that part is not up for debate) ...But now I am wondering if we should open it up to bigger kids like 10-12 year olds, but not babies (like 2-6 year olds)
I am sooo confused...

I'm sorry, but 'select babies' just cracked me up

I know what you mean though. A lot of peopel have a cut off age- like no kids under 6 or no kids under 12.
We have 3 twelve year olds ,a 14 year old & a 16 year old (Bridesmaid)
Those are all defintely invited. Younger that that its tricky, but one of the 12 year olds is part of a family with and 8 year old and a 21 month old, so I don't want to invite 3/5ths or 4/5ths of the family if I leave out the little ones.
of the family. I'm hoping they'll use their best judgement, since its a night wedding.
That's the only baby we have, so I'm not too concerned.

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Posted by tourist

I'm sorry, but 'select babies' just cracked me up

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I'll explain...
I have a few female cousins that may as well be my sisters...We're very close...And they have small children...There would not even be a thought in my mind to not have those kids there...You know?? But beyond them, babies/children are not invited...

But this person who called me up...He's my first cousin...We are not that close. But his daughter (she's 15) wants to come to my wedding. What am I supposed to say to that? She's really not a 'kid' persay...

ARGHHHHHHH...I was sort of not including her on the list because of the fact that she is my second cousin though...Not because of her age...I can't start inviting second and third cousins...I have soooo many cousins....And they range in age from 5 to 50!

I totaly undestand. I just like the phrase select babies.

The one baby on my list is a first cousin. The mid size kids are also first cousins & one of them in particualr I would never think of not inviting. His older sister is my bridesmaid, he is the only 'kid' on that side of the family which is who we spend holidays with, so it would be odd to leave him out.
So, that kind of leads to including other pre-teen first cousins, but that's not so many for us.

I drew the line at mom's cousin's kids.
Her cousin can come, he's more like an uncle I don't see so much anymore, but his kids are adults & I wasn't invited to their weddings & never see them.

You just have to draw the line where it makes sense for you.

Then there are FMIL's friends GRANDchildren...
What about them???? Now I feel bad because I know one of those kids would really like to be at the wedding. (I think she's about 10...But she has a little sister who is about 7.)

oh Lord. . .

So you're line is really more of a zig-zag?
its hard with siblings. I'd leave off the friends grandkids--that's too far removed.

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Posted by tourist

oh Lord. . .

So you're line is really more of a zig-zag?
its hard with siblings. I'd leave off the friends grandkids--that's too far removed.

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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


hey! i say: 'oh lord' all the time!!

we only invited my niece and nephews. well i should say invited since my niece (4) was the fg, my nephew (7) was the rb, and my other nephew (9 mts) well we couldn't leave him out, could we!? it may be easier just to draw a very strict line and have the only people under 18 be children of your or your fi's siblings. and if there are none of those then tough luck on the rest. and at least then you'll be offending everyone ha ha ha

good luck, it's a tough decision, but you've got to make a decision and stick to it. it will be easier all around if there aren't 'exceptions' b/c then someone's gonna be hurt. jmo of course!

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Posted by BMD'sPeanut

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Posted by tourist

I'm sorry, but 'select babies' just cracked me up

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I'll explain...
I have a few female cousins that may as well be my sisters...We're very close...And they have small children...There would not even be a thought in my mind to not have those kids there...You know?? But beyond them, babies/children are not invited...

But this person who called me up...He's my first cousin...We are not that close. But his daughter (she's 15) wants to come to my wedding. What am I supposed to say to that? She's really not a 'kid' persay...

ARGHHHHHHH...I was sort of not including her on the list because of the fact that she is my second cousin though...Not because of her age...I can't start inviting second and third cousins...I have soooo many cousins....And they range in age from 5 to 50!

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Are the female cousins' kids the ones in the wedding? I think that would make it easier then. You can invite them, but no other kids, and just say that you are not inviting any children besides those in the bridal party.

you have to be very careful with this. a cut-off age is not going to work if you have both age ranges in the same family. we had a BIG problem with this. DH was all for cousins over 16. well his one aunt has 4 kids - 3 over 16, one that isn't. this caused major problems with invites. his aunt was annoyed that one of her kids weren't invited. in the end, we invited the other kid too, but only after causing some major friction and one of the other siblings agreeing not to bring a date so he could bring his younger sister instead.

i vote strongly for ALL or NONE!! anything in between and you are headed for trouble!!

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Posted by BMD'sPeanut

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Posted by tourist

oh Lord. . .

So you're line is really more of a zig-zag?
its hard with siblings. I'd leave off the friends grandkids--that's too far removed.

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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


hey! i say: 'oh lord' all the time!!

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Sometimes. . .there just isn't anything else to say.