RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

EsquireBride Posted: May 06, 2008 08:07 PM

RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

Anyone else find that vendors think they should deal with someone other than you because you are a girl?

I am paying for the wedding myself (not FH and me, JUST me), and it really irks me that vendors think they should only deal with FH, because what does a cute little girl like me possibly know about complicated stuff like money and contracts?

Some RH contacts would only email FH, even though I was cc'ed on an email he sent them. If we put down both phone numbers, they only call him. I have been insisting that my name appear on all contacts (makes sense, because I am the one signing everything and the money is coming right from my account) and I just got another contact this past weekend in which only FH's name was mentioned despite the fact that I was the one that spoke the the head guy about drafting the contract in the first place!

We went to a florist and when it was time to talk about types of flowers and centerpieces they talked directly to me, and I don't have a clue about flowers. Then when we asked how much stuff was, they started talking to FH! And if we ask for a business card, they just hand it directly to FH.

GT143EA Posted: May 06, 2008 08:09 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

I've noticed the opposite. Vendors only call or email me. Not that I mind, I'd rather it because FH doens't have a clue about wedding planning!

MrsLarrea2B Posted: May 06, 2008 08:14 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

that's really f u c k e d up!
I have not experienced this, simply b.c I always go alone or w. a friend to look at vendors. However.... now that you mention it..... one time he came w. me to Alexis Limos and the GM Lou was such a sweetheart, but looking back... he def. was talking more to him than to me.

Next time give the vendors your business card. I'm sure once they read it they will feel like morons for thinking that you 'can't' read a contract or make decisions for yourself. ugh....makes me sick.

Question: would this still bother you as much if FH was also paying for the wedding? Just curious. (I'm still on your side! )

mcbride62009 Posted: May 06, 2008 08:18 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

weird. I got mixed so I didn't notice it im sorry that *****. Maybe you put his info first without realizing it.

Cacarina Posted: May 06, 2008 08:19 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

Posted by GT143EA

I've noticed the opposite. Vendors only call or email me. Not that I mind, I'd rather it because FH doens't have a clue about wedding planning!

Ditto

Im a Pepper Posted: May 06, 2008 08:22 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

I've felt like that a couple of times. Once in particular was at a well known florist. Our meeting turned out to be all baseball talk with FH and I swear, even when we started talking about flowers, the guy never once looked at me. The whole time he conversed with FH as though I weren't even there! Needless to say, we did not book that vendor.

michesq Posted: May 06, 2008 08:25 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

can't say i really have. FH has actually made most of initial calls and then continues to deal with vendors he called and I deal with a few like DOC and I ran with her.

Kristina2009 Posted: May 06, 2008 08:27 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

I feel like vendors only want to deal with me. Other than my photog which FH found and has had all dealings with.

hogie2be Posted: May 06, 2008 10:59 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

me too.

Kris2782 Posted: May 06, 2008 11:02 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

Posted by Cacarina

Posted by GT143EA

I've noticed the opposite. Vendors only call or email me. Not that I mind, I'd rather it because FH doens't have a clue about wedding planning!

Ditto

Same here

AugustBridein09 Posted: May 06, 2008 11:08 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

No.....all of my vendors talk to me--in fact almost all of my vendors at one time or another have said,
'Whatever Natalie wants' so they know to deal with me.

MaggieLuvsJoe Posted: May 06, 2008 11:11 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

to tell you the truth I have been dealing with the opposite as well. All the vendors contact me even though they have both of our info.

I guess if they leave your FH a message you should call them and tell them you are the person they should deal with because you're basically planning everything, I doubt they will argue with you over it.

Good luck

CNC4eva3402 Posted: May 06, 2008 11:27 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

Yea, I've also had the opposite happen..in fact, FH hasn't dealt with any vendors, other than being at all the appts with me..

Marissa09Bride Posted: May 06, 2008 11:41 PM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

I haven't experienced that, but I can imagine how frustrating that would be

VickiR510 Posted: May 07, 2008 12:06 AM

Re: RANT (long sorry) sexism in planning my wedding......

Actually with every vendor we have used they are speakign directly to BOTH of us. Which I very much appreciate. The contracts have both of our names on them & when it comes to paying some i pay some he pays. But i really havent come across any sexism at all. Especially at our RH David was amazing & spoke with me regarding the money. He knew that Im a Senior Accountant & when i did the figures in my head before he drafted it he looked shocked when it was right, He just laughed & said shes good. lol To bad not all places realize there are many intelligent, capable women out there!