RB drama (long)

Our RB is FHs godson. FH is best friends with his father and his father is in the wedding too. RBs mother and I used to be close but we have really grown apart. FH gets a phone call last week from his friend and he says tht the RB, 5 years old, is unsure if he wants to do it anymore. Did I mention this kid is 5? I already wrote out the invitation to invite him, bought him his gifts, and printed all of my programs. FH tells his friend to think about it and let him know. A week goes by and still no word. I am getting ready to send invites and I need to know if I have to reprint all of my programs. I decided to call RBs mother and get the real scoop. She is very cold and says if it was up to her he would be in it because she likes to dress him up in a tux, but the RB does not want to do it because he does not know us very well. She also says that her husband has other issues with FH. FH and this guy are BF and they see each other at least twice a week. FH talked to this guy and he said there was no issue. He doesn't know what she is talking about. The reason the RB does not know us very well is because FHs BF never brings him around. We send gifts for xmas and his brithday but we have not been invited to a b-day party since his first b-day. They never let us see him! I am so frustrated! I just want to know what I am doing. Besides what kind of reason is it to say that you want your son to be in a wedding for the sole reason that you like to dress him up and I may be wrong but who lets their 5 year old make such big decisions. I understand if he is nervous but the kid is not like that and they just need to let me know. FH is so mad he doesn;t know if he wants his BF in the wedding now. He never got along with his wife and suspects that she is lying to start this all. TOO MUCH DRAMA FOR ME!!!!!!! SOrry this is so long and confusing. I just needed to vent

Total drama! Sounds like BF wife has issues with you and is using the kid to get back at you.
If this were me I would let the kid not be in the wedding, choose someone else, if that is possible, and settle this garabage fter the wedding.
Don't let this woman ruin your day. Keep your chin up.

This is awful! Do you think your FH can have one more talk with his friend and ask him to please just tell him what is going on?

Maybe you can go out to dinner with the couple and discuss it? It seems like they're giving you the run around and that's not fair. And esp if his dad's in the wedding, there's no reason for the kid not to be, if he gets scared, e can just walk down with dad. I'd try to get a straight answer and explain the situation. I mean, I really don't think a 5 year old would say no unless the parents presented it to hm negatively. I mean it's a kid. All you have to tel him is you get to dress up and walk dow the aisle and be very important and take pictures and go to a big party and get a special present. My sister's RB was a rambunctious 4 year old, and very stubborn. He had one parent at the back of the church, the other at the front and he did fine. He had no idea why he was there, but he did it. It was five minutes, you know? I think the parnets are the ones with issues and you guys should sit down with them and try to work it out.

ETA: If FH's BF wont be straight with FH what the heck is the deal?