So my FH and I are doing this whole wedding thing ourselves. Neither of our parents have it and blah blah blah. 8 months ago my MOH (BFF) offered up her house for the RD and since both my mom and FMIL are excellent cooks we thought it was a no brainer. This has been the plan for seriously EIGHT MONTHS! I even ordered invites already. We have people coming from Southold and Long Beach so having something central was key.
Last night FMIL decides that SHE ALONE is going to throw the RD at her sister's house in WESTBURY which totally doesnt work and I barely know the woman! She wasn't even invited to the RD! I am LIVID. Plus she's cutting my mom out of the planning/cooking all together.
Am I crazy for wanting to choke her!?!
FH and I are seriously thinking about cancelling the RD altogether.
AngnShaun
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Drama Rama - Advice Needed
did you tell her that you were already planning it?
JustManda
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Drama Rama - Advice Needed
Oh yah! She knew. I've had the same conversation with her at least 5 times. 'Traditionally the groom's family.....' And then I say 'Traditionally the bride's fam pays for the wedding. We are doing away with tradition and I thougth this was the best way to allow EVERYONE to be included.'
Even FH has talked with her about it.
Then last night after a bottle of wine this comes out!!!!
Im_My_Own_Princess
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Drama Rama - Advice Needed
I'd simply say.. 'thank you for the offer, but we've already ordered invitations and have gotten decorations and finalized everything, and we're doing it at my friends house, we'd still like you to cook, but understand that you have a lot going on'. ^even if its a lie
wenR
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Drama Rama - Advice Needed
nip that one in the bud real quick. Dont' give her the BP contact info and keep your original plan.
julesrbf
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Drama Rama - Advice Needed
Posted by wenR
nip that one in the bud real quick. Dont' give her the BP contact info and keep your original plan.
ITA. If she wants to throw an RD elsewhere, she can ... as long as she realizes no one will show up, and she will be missing the actual RD at your MOH's house.
jhines4684
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Drama Rama - Advice Needed
Keep your original plans.
Cookie De La Devine
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Drama Rama - Advice Needed
Posted by Im_My_Own_Princess
I'd simply say.. 'thank you for the offer, but we've already ordered invitations and have gotten decorations and finalized everything, and we're doing it at my friends house, we'd still like you to cook, but understand that you have a lot going on'. ^even if its a lie
What she said- Shes acting insane right now, dont feed into the craziness.
allornil
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Drama Rama - Advice Needed
hellll to the no! that's ridiculous.
keep that RD at the MOH's house. that's so unfair to your mom.
JustManda
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Drama Rama - Advice Needed
Thanks Ladies! That's what I thought but these mom's are good at guilt trips! I always feel like the bad guy. I am proceeding with my original plans!
SoonToBeMrsCampos
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Drama Rama - Advice Needed
oh hell mother effing no, would she get away with this. just say no, we planned this already.
summerbride20
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Drama Rama - Advice Needed
I am glad you are sticking to your original plans. I would say sorry but we have been planning this for 8 months and we already ordered the invitations (yada, yada). and this is what FH and I really want. Tell her you can't do that to your friend, MOH, and that to change it now would inconvenience everyone. if she is trying to make you feel guilty, say thank you for trying to do what traditionally is done, but we havent heard anything about this until now and its too late. and say you dont need her to be taking care of it, just there with you two. and if she doesnt want to come, or participate, or whatever... then forget her there are bigger issues there. otherwise, i think she will listen and go with the old plan.