RD Help

mbscheer Posted: Sep 11, 2009 12:13 AM

RD Help

FH is still out of work and we are struggling to pay for the wedding. FFIL offered that instead of having the RD that we cancel it and he will give us the money to help us out. We were not having a 'rehearsal' persay because WM has a wedding there.

My question is:
1. Do you think it is Ok to not have one?
2. Should we maybe do something like a potluck dinner the week before so we can spend time with everyone. Would that be tacky to do??

TIA

grkbarbie Posted: Sep 11, 2009 12:15 AM

Re: RD Help

its def ok not to have 1

as far as a potluck..i have to say its tacky..o9nly cuz this is a wedding related get together, and the bride n groom are supposed to be the ones hosting(parents).. so asking ppl in your BP to cook to bring to ur home is probably not something i would do.

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Sep 11, 2009 12:18 AM

Re: RD Help

I think that's very sweet of your FFIL to suggest and offer that!

Yes, I think it's totally fine to have a potluck dinner - something like that can be even more fun since you're not on a particular timeframe like you would be in a restaurant. Nice and relaxed...how you should be right before the wedding! Just make sure to give everyone a decent amount of notice, since they're all going to bring a dish.

GR2010 Posted: Sep 11, 2009 12:23 AM

Re: RD Help

That is very nice of FFIL to offer... I definitely don't think you need to have a rehearsal dinner... they always go over that stuff right before the ceremony anyway... If you really want to have a dinner I would do something small at your place a few days before. I don't know if potluck would be appropriate though... the BP is already doing a lot so they may kinda be put off by the idea of having to bring a dish to a dinner that is usually a time to thank them for being a part of your day... JMO... but maybe if you did something simple... getting food from an Italian restaurant is pretty inexpensive (I don't know if you're familiar with Mama's in Copiague but it is GREAT food and not at all pricey) so you could always have it catered and just not go overboard.

marinai7 Posted: Sep 11, 2009 06:41 AM

Re: RD Help

I don't think you need to have a rehearsal dinner. You can just have some people over your house after the rehearsal if you're planning on giving gifts - maybe you and FH can just cook. I wouldn't do the potluck since your BP is already paying for so much and this is usually an appreciation of everything they've done. If you're really set on it, just throw it out to your BP and see what they say. Good Luck!!

20mrsc10 Posted: Sep 11, 2009 07:33 AM

Re: RD Help

i think its fine not to have one-esp. if you need the money!

as far as having a potlock, i agree with gina-maybe have something casual just with the parents/bp to say thank you at someones house or something, and just cater it from an italian place-calda is really good in levittown, and has very good prices!!

Jna2010 Posted: Sep 11, 2009 08:48 AM

Re: RD Help

i think its fine to not have a RD

but i wouldnt do the potluck though, it wont cost much to get catering at your house, def a lot cheaper than having a RD at a restaurant

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Sep 11, 2009 09:18 AM

Re: RD Help

If anything, I'd do a small dinner party, but not a potluck.

FallBride2010 Posted: Sep 11, 2009 09:22 AM

Re: RD Help

Skip the RD. It's not necessary! But I wouldnt do a pot luck. I think it's too much to ask. To cut costs -- maybe do a small dessert party. You can make the items yourself to save money...and everyone loves dessert!

GiannisWifey Posted: Sep 11, 2009 09:23 AM

Re: RD Help

ITA with all the girls......

You don't have to have a RD at all.....but I am against the pot luck either....you can get a few catered foods from an Italian restaurant or hero's or something......keep it simple and cheap!

JAAMS Posted: Sep 11, 2009 12:28 PM

Re: RD Help

I would just skip the RD! I wouldn't do a potluck though... maybe when you guys have the $$, have a dinner (or bbq in the summer!) to thank the bridal party and close family.

jcreilly Posted: Sep 11, 2009 12:40 PM

Re: RD Help

Thats sounds fine to me

halfbaked Posted: Sep 11, 2009 01:15 PM

Re: RD Help

You definitely don't need to have an RD. What I'd do is keep it very laid back and casual- a BBQ or something like that before doing a pot luck dinner.