Many of you already know that FMIL has done nothing for FH and I since we got engaged. I know she doesn't have a lot of money, but she didn't even get us a card.
Now, I booked the RD myself at Desmonds at East Wind and I'm pretty sure that FH and myself will be paying for it since she can't afford it. Now, this does annoy me quite a bit since she would have the money if she didn't waste her money all the time. Since she is not paying I don't feel she should get credit for hosting. I know this is going to make her upset, but I don't think she has any right to be upset about it since she's not paying.
Now onto my question. I wanted to get my parents are really nice gift for hosting the wedding (they are paying for it). Personally, I don't think FMIL deserves anything except maybe a $50 gift certificate to a restaurant. Now FFIL and FMIL are divorced. FFIL is helping us pay for our honeymoon. I wanted to get him and his wife a nice gift as well.
How do I handle giving out these gifts at the RD? It will be glaringly obvious at the difference in the gifts and FMIL will get offended (she always does). What makes this harder is because FH and I will be living with her as of the end of this month.
What should I do???
DeeluvsVinny
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Question
Eek, that's a tough one...I know it's traditional to give them at the RD...but maybe you can give them all like a frame or something and then privately give FFIL and your parents their own gifts..?
Mici n KC
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Question
You don't have to give it to them at the RD or at least bring them to the side and thank them for everything they have done. It doesn't have to be a big announcement.
bluegreen08
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Question
Hmmm....
1) You are paying for RD, so you are hosting it. I don't think this should be an issue -- if she wants to get 'credit' for hosting, she should host it with all that entails.
2) Gifts, on the other hand, are more controversial. I'd say you should give everyone more equal gifts at the RD and then give anything additional in private... or don't give gifts at the RD at all. You don't want it to seem like a public slap in the face, especially since you will be living with her.
Annoulak
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Question
What do you plan to give to your parents and FFIL? If you got FMIL a pretty Lenox vase (no more than $100 or less if it's on sale) will it be that glaringly different?
dannisayz
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Question
If I can afford it, I wanted to get my parents a weekend at a Bed and Breakfast out East. I wanted to get FFIL tickets to a Yankee game.
MelissaRX06
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Question
I would definintely give those gifts separately. They are very generous gifts and you should be proud of them. And you want your parents and FFIL to be excited about receiving them and not feel funny if FMIL starts to get upset. I would definitely try to give them the gifts at a different time when FMIL is NOT around....
bluegreen08
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Question
Posted by dannisayz
If I can afford it, I wanted to get my parents a weekend at a Bed and Breakfast out East. I wanted to get FFIL tickets to a Yankee game.
Can you get FMIL tickets to a comedy club? or a restaurant?
Then you can put each in an envelope and just say you put together a special night out for each of them for helping you with your own special night?
they dont need to compare who got what.
dannisayz
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Question
Posted by bluegreen08
Posted by dannisayz
If I can afford it, I wanted to get my parents a weekend at a Bed and Breakfast out East. I wanted to get FFIL tickets to a Yankee game.
Can you get FMIL tickets to a comedy club? or a restaurant?
Then you can put each in an envelope and just say you put together a special night out for each of them for helping you with your own special night?
they dont need to compare who got what.
I was planning on giving her a gift certificate to a restaurant. If I really wanted to plan a special night out for her, it would be a trip to the looney bin!
kimandvin
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Question
Hmmm do you have to give out al of the gifts at the RD???
dannisayz
Posted:
Member since
Re: RD Question
Posted by kimandvin
Hmmm do you have to give out al of the gifts at the RD???
