RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

Soon2bShea Posted: Jan 06, 2010 10:49 AM

RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

Heres the background:

FH's parents are divorced. FMIL is a piece of work and isn't involved with the wedding whatsoever. FFIL is very close with us and involved with the wedding.

FFIL gave FH and I our wedding gift early ($$$) to use toward the wedding. Without the early gift, we would have needed a loan. But at the end of the day, it's not a contribution to the wedding, but a gift for getting married.

So heres my dilemma:

FH and I don't have any $$ currently in the budget for a RD, but we really want to have a small one at a restaurant. FH and I were thinking about asking FFIL if he wanted to 'host' (pay for) it. (I should mention he LOVESSS hosting parties and is on the wealthy side lol)

Is it tacky for us to ask that of him after he gave us a generous wedding gift?

brittndave Posted: Jan 06, 2010 10:54 AM

Re: RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

I dunno -- I don't think I would ask but I may hint during a conversation or something. DH could maybe update him on all the progress and mention how you prob won't have a RD bc you don't have the money for it, and maybe he will offer to host it?

M_Berk-Glenn Posted: Jan 06, 2010 10:55 AM

Re: RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

I dont think its tacky at all. I ask my parents for $$$$$$ all the time

I would have FH ask him or mention wanting to have one but not being able to afford it & go from there.

Maybe you could have smthin @ FFILs home

jmgoncal Posted: Jan 06, 2010 10:56 AM

Re: RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

Posted by brittndave

I dunno -- I don't think I would ask but I may hint during a conversation or something. DH could maybe update him on all the progress and mention how you prob won't have a RD bc you don't have the money for it, and maybe he will offer to host it?

This is what I would do... not ask directly, but hint at it. Chances are, he'll probably offer at that point.

christine2010 Posted: Jan 06, 2010 11:02 AM

Re: RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

i think you & FH should judge on his personality if he is the type of person to be easily offended if you asked him to host.

GonnaBeeMrsG Posted: Jan 06, 2010 11:08 AM

Re: RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

I would def hint it in some type of conversation. let us know what happeneds! Good luck!

AwaitingAugust Posted: Jan 06, 2010 11:12 AM

Re: RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

i would have FH ask but i suppose it really depends on your relationship with your FFIL

Lsorrent Posted: Jan 06, 2010 11:12 AM

Re: RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

Posted by jmgoncal

Posted by brittndave

I dunno -- I don't think I would ask but I may hint during a conversation or something. DH could maybe update him on all the progress and mention how you prob won't have a RD bc you don't have the money for it, and maybe he will offer to host it?

This is what I would do... not ask directly, but hint at it. Chances are, he'll probably offer at that point.

This was going to be my advice too

NYYankeeGirl72 Posted: Jan 06, 2010 11:35 AM

Re: RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

Since you said that FFIL loves to host, why don't you ask FH to sit down with FFIL and have him generally mention that you guys are thinking of having a RD, but that you have no idea of what to do, and it would have to be something small since your $$$ situation is tight. Maybe by asking FFIL for some suggestions and since he loves to host, he might just offer to help out.

Good Luck!!

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Jan 06, 2010 11:45 AM

Re: RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

Posted by GonnaBeeMrsG

I would def hint it in some type of conversation. let us know what happeneds! Good luck!

I agree, and have FH do the hinting.

AdriandSteve Posted: Jan 06, 2010 11:47 AM

Re: RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

Posted by Lsorrent

Posted by jmgoncal

Posted by brittndave

I dunno -- I don't think I would ask but I may hint during a conversation or something. DH could maybe update him on all the progress and mention how you prob won't have a RD bc you don't have the money for it, and maybe he will offer to host it?

This is what I would do... not ask directly, but hint at it. Chances are, he'll probably offer at that point.

This was going to be my advice too

Ita. But have FH take the lead on this one.

Relish21 Posted: Jan 06, 2010 11:51 AM

Re: RD...delicate situation...need help! kinda long im sorry

I would probably justc have FH mentionn it in passing.... like ' oh yeah we're trying to figure out what to do for the RD, dad do you have any suggestions of inexpensive nice places where we could have it since we're on a really tight budget....' See if he grabs onto the hint and offers up some help??