RD/SHOWER

BklynItaliana Posted: Mar 23, 2006 11:25 AM

RD/SHOWER

Fh and I were talking about the rd to his parents and the amount. they said they would split it 3 ways if my mom would be wiling to do that.

we told my parents the same thing and my mom said she would if fh parents are going to split the shower with her(my sis is the MOH and she is still in college and has no $$, so my parents would be footing the bill).

Does that sound right, has anyone heard of this before???

BrideChrissy Posted: Mar 23, 2006 11:30 AM

Re: RD/SHOWER

I don't think the grooms parents pay for the shower. If they want to then thats fine but I don't think they are expected to. I mean everyone does what they want and what they can do so if his parents want to split the shower with yours then thats great.

transamgirlie Posted: Mar 23, 2006 11:30 AM

Re: RD/SHOWER

Generally the grooms family pays for the RD. If your sister can't take care of the Shower then it would be your family / bridal party taking care of it.

I know it's hard to split it up and make it fair but make sure that one party isn't paying way more than another.

We decided to tell his Mom that we would rather have a very informal RD at her house and have her contribute something to the acutal wedding instead. We decided this after realizing that we are paying the majority of everything ourselves and that his family invite list is triple mine.

BklynItaliana Posted: Mar 23, 2006 11:31 AM

Re: RD/SHOWER

That's what I thought but I also thought it was the grooms families responsibility to take care of the the rd???

BklynItaliana Posted: Mar 23, 2006 11:33 AM

Re: RD/SHOWER

Posted by transamgirlie

Generally the grooms family pays for the RD. If your sister can't take care of the Shower then it would be your family / bridal party taking care of it.

I know it's hard to split it up and make it fair but make sure that one party isn't paying way more than another.

We decided to tell his Mom that we would rather have a very informal RD at her house and have her contribute something to the acutal wedding instead. We decided this after realizing that we are paying the majority of everything ourselves and that his family invite list is triple mine.

so far with the reception both families contributed the same amount, so i think thats why the suggestion was to split the rd and shower.

b/c my mom said if his mom isn't helping w/ the shower she wasn't helping with the rd.

transamgirlie Posted: Mar 23, 2006 11:38 AM

Re: RD/SHOWER

maybe ask them to budget the same amount. That way they wouldn't have to split it and cause confusion but they would still be contributing the same amount.

BklynItaliana Posted: Mar 23, 2006 11:41 AM

Re: RD/SHOWER

well for the rd there was a set amount that was said.. but for the shower there isn't even any talk about it yet so i don't know how to approach that

dianadrw Posted: Mar 23, 2006 12:47 PM

Re: RD/SHOWER

I agree w/ your mom. Generally, the RD has a lot less people than the shower and therefore the shower is going to be more expensive. I think your FMIL should be willing to pay for the entire RD. If she can't swing that financially, maybe you guys could help w/ the cost. If that's not possible, and she still wants your mom to help pay for the RD, then she should at least help contribute to your shower.

Just my .02

JazzyT Posted: Mar 23, 2006 01:09 PM

Re: RD/SHOWER

I think your mom is right

leshellem Posted: Mar 23, 2006 01:15 PM

Re: RD/SHOWER

Your family/bridal party should pay for the shower. His family pays for the rd. Asking to split both shower and rh doesn't make sense, sense both parties will probably be spending the same amount anyway

BklynItaliana Posted: Mar 23, 2006 02:14 PM

Re: RD/SHOWER

here's the thing fh and i had planned on paying for the rd but when we talked to his parents his mom suggested we split it 3 ways b/c it's a little expensive.

Love4Eva Posted: Mar 23, 2006 02:31 PM

Re: RD/SHOWER

what if you tell fh to talk to his parents - and see if they can pay for the whole RD - or to split it in 2 ways - dont get your parents involved - bc they are going to pay for the shower

Soon2BeMrsS Posted: Mar 23, 2006 02:41 PM

Re: RD/SHOWER

times have changed... My parents aren't contributing a dime I 've been insisting that FH & I pay for it, all he & FIL's laugh at me, (FIL's are being very very genorous) and I'm very lucky & thankful to that...

What works best for you, yo FH & your families is what the right thing to do is

good luck

bride2b24 Posted: Mar 23, 2006 09:33 PM

Re: RD/SHOWER

Posted by BklynItaliana

That's what I thought but I also thought it was the grooms families responsibility to take care of the the rd???

i agree.......and nowadays the BP splits the shower...

Mikeysgirl Posted: Mar 23, 2006 10:06 PM

Re: RD/SHOWER

If I were in your position I would not ask my mom to split the RD. Since you guys were going to pay for the RD yourselves you should tell his parents that you mother can't contribute 1/3 because she will be paying 100% for the shower. Instead you should thank them for offering to help and take 1/3 from them and pay the rest yourself.

BklynItaliana Posted: Mar 24, 2006 11:53 AM

Re: RD/SHOWER

Posted by bride2b24

Posted by BklynItaliana

That's what I thought but I also thought it was the grooms families responsibility to take care of the the rd???

i agree.......and nowadays the BP splits the shower...

that would be nice but my bridal party is all family my 2 sis's(both in school w/ no job) his 1 sis(in school no job) my 3 cusins(just graduated, don't make alot of $$) his 1 cusin(stay at home mom) my 1 friend( i wouldn't ask her to pay for the shower) 3 flower girls