Read this horrible article

Here is an advice column from MSN, obviously this women needs to get some advice instead of give it.

Dear Prudence,
My fiance and I—neither of whom have been married before—are planning and paying for our wedding. Because we do not want a big, lavish ceremony (nor can we afford one) and because we have been to too many other ceremonies where the bridal shower, wedding gift, bachelor and bachelorette parties, etc. have amounted to a small fortune, we've decided to make things simple for ourselves and our guests. There will be no attendants or groomsmen, no showers or parties, no multiple-store gift registries. As we're in our late 20s and have lived on our own for several years, we already have enough household items and do not need more. Instead, we are planning to ask our guests to give monetary gifts rather than buying toasters or dishes. We have received some flak from our family about the lack of tradition. I know this is our day, and it is completely up to us how we want to celebrate it, but we would like an objective third party (you!) to give your opinion. Thank you very much.

—Bride-To-Be

Dear Bride,
Tradition is taking it in the neck these days, so don't get too worked up about the flak you're receiving. We are living at a time when a dog has served as 'best man,' couples tie the knot on Ferris wheels, and more than a few brides have waltzed down the aisle in maternity clothes. For better or for worse, we are making new traditions. To tell you the truth, your thinking is sound about needless presents and multiple parties. But because wedding gifts of cash are associated with the Sopranos, humor might soften the situation, especially since your wedding sounds like it's going to be a warm and informal affair. Perhaps enclose a note with your invitation saying, basically, what you wrote to Prudie. For example:

We're having no showers or parties and such.
We've got all our 'stuff,' so our needs are not much.
What we could use most (and it's one-size-fits-all)
Is the check of your choice … and no trip to the mall.

—Prudie, audaciously



TACKY
TACKY
TACKY
TACKY
TACKY
TACKY
TACKY
TACKY

Bridget

Would you believe that Prudence took back what she said?
See below...

Note: Prudie is so chastened by her lapse of judgment, leading to clearly rotten advice (in the Aug. 28 column regarding 'Bride-To-Be,' who wanted to ask for money instead of wedding gifts), that she will temporarily abandon the usual third-person form of address and express regret directly from Prudie's overseer.

I have not laid such an egg since the handicapped toilet imbroglio. For whatever reason, I was trying to be understanding and to validate the underlying logic of the future bride's argument. I do know, and have always known, that requests for cash at weddings are anathema to good taste and accepted etiquette. Readers tried to cushion the blow, however, by prefacing their messages with such remarks as: 'I usually love and agree with your advice, but ...' 'Your advice is usually terrific and delivered with wonderful zest, but ...' These kind phrases were followed by 'No, Prudie! NOOOOO!!!!' 'I cannot believe you are actually ADVOCATING people asking for cash in their WEDDING INVITATIONS.' 'A wedding is not a gift grab.' 'I have never written to an advice columnist before this, but your answer to 'Bride-To-Be' was so terrible I had to comment.' 'This is nothing more than the woman shaking down her wedding guests for cash!' The word 'tacky' appeared with some regularity.


There were also, you should know, letters from members of the Soprano family, so to speak, who complained that gifts of money are part of their tradition and they have never been comfortable with that custom being considered improper. Regionalism figured in, as well:

In this part of the country (downstate NY), cash gifts are the norm rather than the exception. I don't ever remember it not being this way. (I'm in my early 40s, so I've been to my share of weddings.) So maybe the rest of the country doesn't know that they're missing!

Because this is not an etiquette column, and I obviously am inclined toward making new protocols, there will be no more etiquette questions. We will return to infidelity, Internet porn, miserable mothers-in-law, hellish bosses, and jailbird boyfriends. Now back to business.

—Prudie, contritely

that makes me laugh!

... i must say i thought the poem she wrote to put on the invite was cute.. but id NEVER send anything like that...

i'm impressed that she took it all back!
good for her!!