Real Life Stories :D
Reallife stories.
> >
> >
> > Ever Want to Curl Up and Die?
> > >
> > >I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
> asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow j o b?' I
> turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't
> say a word. He knew better.Melinda Lowe, 39,
> > >
> > >Pad, please!
> > >An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage
> insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted
> to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me
> a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our
> guest.Kathy Newman, 46, Winston-Salem, NC
> > >
> > >Ho, Ho, Ho
> > >I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom
> and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked
> adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so
> well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas
> cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing
> hysterically, and suggesting I take! a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at
> the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had
> captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera! Name
> Withheld (go figure)
> > >
> > >Lady Golfer
> > >I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
> unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several
> minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works
> at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at
> him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls.' Colleen Collins,
> 31, Ferndale, MI
> > >
> > >Nuts about You
> > >My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
> variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy > behind
> the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking
> at your nuts.' My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned,
> and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never
> let me forget.
> > >Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD
> > >
> > >Priceless
> > >A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
> got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag.
> Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed
> out for all the store to hear, 'PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX
> SUPER SIZE.'
> > >That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently
> misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for THUMBTACKS.' In a business-like tone,
> a
> > >voice boomed back over the intercom. 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN
> WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?'
> > >Diane E. Amov
> > >
> > >Don't ask a child the same question too many times...Have you ever
> asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a
> lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day
> we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very
> busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something
> funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was
> clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so
> I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No.' I kept thinking, 'Oh
> Lord, that child has had an accident, and I >don't have any clothes with
> me.' Then I said, Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' 'No,'
> he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the
> smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I
> > asked one more time, 'Danny, did you have an accident?' This time he
> jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent >over and spread his cheeks and
> yelled. 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' While 30 people nearly choked to
> death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
> An old couple made me feel better
> > by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had.
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> >
> >
> > Ever Want to Curl Up and Die?
> > >
> > >I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
> asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow j o b?' I
> turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't
> say a word. He knew better.Melinda Lowe, 39,
> > >
> > >Pad, please!
> > >An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage
> insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted
> to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me
> a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our
> guest.Kathy Newman, 46, Winston-Salem, NC
> > >
> > >Ho, Ho, Ho
> > >I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom
> and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked
> adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so
> well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas
> cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing
> hysterically, and suggesting I take! a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at
> the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had
> captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera! Name
> Withheld (go figure)
> > >
> > >Lady Golfer
> > >I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
> unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several
> minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works
> at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at
> him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls.' Colleen Collins,
> 31, Ferndale, MI
> > >
> > >Nuts about You
> > >My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
> variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy > behind
> the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking
> at your nuts.' My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned,
> and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never
> let me forget.
> > >Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD
> > >
> > >Priceless
> > >A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
> got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag.
> Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed
> out for all the store to hear, 'PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX
> SUPER SIZE.'
> > >That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently
> misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for THUMBTACKS.' In a business-like tone,
> a
> > >voice boomed back over the intercom. 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN
> WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?'
> > >Diane E. Amov
> > >
> > >Don't ask a child the same question too many times...Have you ever
> asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a
> lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day
> we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very
> busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something
> funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was
> clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so
> I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No.' I kept thinking, 'Oh
> Lord, that child has had an accident, and I >don't have any clothes with
> me.' Then I said, Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' 'No,'
> he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the
> smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I
> > asked one more time, 'Danny, did you have an accident?' This time he
> jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent >over and spread his cheeks and
> yelled. 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' While 30 people nearly choked to
> death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
> An old couple made me feel better
> > by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had.
