REALLY aggravated at FH...

I want him to go with me to Belmont Park because the guy I'm thinking of hiring for our chocolate fountain is doing a party there and invited me to come taste the chocolate tomorrow. So, i asked him if he wanted to go to Belmont Park on Sunday yesterday (didn't even mention the chocolate fountain part), and I didn't really get an answer. Asked him again... he mumbled a less than thrilled answer. Well, too bad... made plans and asked my parents if they wanted to go to taste it, too. So, I tell him today the gameplan for tomorrow, and he's like, 'I told you I didn't want to go.'. Well, first of all, you didn't. Second of all, too bad. We're going. You haven't done one darn thing for this wedding, and we have to do this because it means we'd save a LOT of money. And he's like, 'I'm not the one who wants a chocolate fountain.' I'm really getting aggravated at him acting like all these little detail things that I want are only for ME and not for US and all our guests for BOTH our families. REALLY pissed. I do EVERYTHING for him... I told him he's going tomorrow and he should want to do this since it means so much to me. Jackas$. ugh... Then he adds that he can't even walk around that much because he hurt his calf muscle playing softball the other night. Be a man! (sorry... pissed and just venting)

Anyone else out there have a FH like this? We live together, so I sometimes get the feeling that this wedding is just a technicality to him.

oh my gosh, i sooo feel your pain. i just got into an argument with FH yesterday over the wedding. i've been racking my brain trying to come up with a song for him and his mom and everything i have him listen to, he just rolls his eyes at. finally, i was like - pick you're own freakin' song then. it's your mom, not mine.
when we got into it... because he has not done one single thing for this wedding (NOTHING! my mom and i have done everything together; he never wants to help, never even has any suggestions) he said something to effect that this was my day.
no, this is not my day. this is OUR day. a marriage is about 2 people so our wedding day should be about 2 people. our friends and family should see both of our tastes incorporated. and, as i told him, it'd be nice if i looked back on this day and didn't just see a gorgeous day that 'i' put together... but a day that we put together. pieces of him. a song that makes him think of me.
i have sooo not dragged him around place to place. but it'd have been nice if he came to book the honeymoon with me ('do whatever, i trust you') or came up with a song idea or two or gave a suggestion for the groomsmen's gifts. AAAHHH.
sorry i'm not much help with your situation... just wanted to let you know you're not the only one out there going through these emotions

Okay.... so I am the complete opposite of the two posts so far. I have totally limited his input into the wedding. I don't want him to make a decision on something and me not liking it! So basically I am getting everything the way I want it!

It is true that a wedding is for the both of you but really... who are we kidding here? Most girls have thought about their wedding for most of their lives where guys just haven't.

Honestly, I would pick my battle and this wouldn't be it. He obviously really doesn't want to go. I think your frustration is with his lack of involvement - not over this chocolate fountain.

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Posted by AlmostMrsKelly

oh my gosh, i sooo feel your pain. i just got into an argument with FH yesterday over the wedding. i've been racking my brain trying to come up with a song for him and his mom and everything i have him listen to, he just rolls his eyes at. finally, i was like - pick you're own freakin' song then. it's your mom, not mine.
when we got into it... because he has not done one single thing for this wedding (NOTHING! my mom and i have done everything together; he never wants to help, never even has any suggestions) he said something to effect that this was my day.
no, this is not my day. this is OUR day. a marriage is about 2 people so our wedding day should be about 2 people. our friends and family should see both of our tastes incorporated. and, as i told him, it'd be nice if i looked back on this day and didn't just see a gorgeous day that 'i' put together... but a day that we put together. pieces of him. a song that makes him think of me.
i have sooo not dragged him around place to place. but it'd have been nice if he came to book the honeymoon with me ('do whatever, i trust you') or came up with a song idea or two or gave a suggestion for the groomsmen's gifts. AAAHHH.
sorry i'm not much help with your situation... just wanted to let you know you're not the only one out there going through these emotions

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In a way I'm glad I'm not the only one, but knowing how absolutely frusrating it is, I'm sorry you have to go through it, too. I mean, I'm not asking the guy which shade of red rose he would like on the tables. That stuff I do with my mom. I know he's a MAN. But the fact that GOING TO A RACETRACK is too much to ask is just the last friggin' straw. He's going, but he's giving me all this attitude about it. It's almost not even wedding related with this... we just always do what he wants to do... no questions ask. We can do something I want to do... especially when that something involves GOING TO A RACE TRACK with my parents, WHO DO EVERYTHING ON EARTH FOR US - including coming over early this morning to go help up pick up our BBQ and patio furniture set from Home Depot. Did I mention they're also paying for our wedding and they've done more for our wedding than anyone in his family - including HIM? It's VERY aggravating!!! Even when I'm home with him and go to make my favors or whatever, he gets AGGRAVATED that I'm doing something for the wedding when he's home. UM, HELLO!?!?!? It's your wedding, too!!!!! They're OUR FAVORS!!! I just don't get it...

Thanks for letting me vent and for letting me know I'm not alone.

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Posted by maiko

It's OUR day! Show some interest!

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Exactly! I think his family really doesn't do the 'big wedding' thing... so they're all thinking that it's my family that wants it... we have to deal with all that comes along with it. Never mind that more than half of the guest list will be HIS family!

AND shouldn't it be that if something is important to US, it should be important to THEM? Maybe not earth-shattering, but at least somewhat important since we're partners now?

Welcome to the club. Mine is driving me nuts. He doesn't even want to talk about the wedding and its only a 124 days away!!!!

Mine says all i talk about is the wedding hello 27 MORE DAYS!!!

I'm aggrevated at my FH for different reasons. Got into a huge fight last night, right before we went to bed. I am to the point where I have no desire to even speak to him told.

I'll get over it, but it's going to take some extra time this time.

i def feel your pain......FH only came to see our final photographer so he could give the ok......in their eyes this is all nonsense and girl stuff and that ultimately the decision is our......( which i guess is tru!) i wouldnt take it personally .....some and most men are not into this stuff.....and when he wants you to go to a baseball game or something that you would rather not do....just do the same........i hope it all works out with the fountain! good luck

You should've seen the argument over going to a bakery to talk cake yesterday!!!! FMIL calls to see what we're up to and mentions (due to the rain) that they've put up a tent (FBIL's grad. party was yesterday) and he deduces from this that she is out there trying to put up a tent and he needs to be there....i point out that A-she knows where we're going and B-it was her idea that he and i go on saturday.

turns out that she was on her way to the hair salon that she is foolishly seriously considering paying $300 to open up at 7am todo her and FSIL's hair and make up even though my hair and make up person is coming to HER house!!! anyway, she was NO WHERE near the whole tent construction and it went up fine without us!!!

we did do the cake thing...but that was annoying with FH....'i don't care what it looks like' OK...so i proceed to give my ideas and then the flood gates....'i want this, this and this and definitely NOT that....' three minutes before, he didn't care!!!!!!!

who knows what our cake will be like now!

I agree with the pp that said that you need to pick your battles. My DH didn't really do much for our wedding, he came to the venues and had an input on the band and what he wore.

In the last couple of days before the wedding, I made him help me get stuff ready. And I think b/c I wasn't riding his a** the entire time, he was more than up for helping me.

Just pick your battles, he is just going to get madder and madder that you are 'forcing' him to do things he doesn't want to.

And, it was so awesome to have DH tell me what an amazing job I did on our wedding, and HE was surprised at some of the things that went on.

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Posted by kathrynlinton

I agree with the pp that said that you need to pick your battles. My DH didn't really do much for our wedding, he came to the venues and had an input on the band and what he wore.

In the last couple of days before the wedding, I made him help me get stuff ready. And I think b/c I wasn't riding his a** the entire time, he was more than up for helping me.

Just pick your battles, he is just going to get madder and madder that you are 'forcing' him to do things he doesn't want to.

And, it was so awesome to have DH tell me what an amazing job I did on our wedding, and HE was surprised at some of the things that went on.

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oh... believe me... I pick my battles. The wedding is all planned. Only the details are left. He hasn't done a THING. The only reason I thought he could go with me to this is because it was on a Sunday... it was a race track... we could go with my parents and make a day of it... and it just happened to be wedding related.

Well... long story short... it was a weekend long argument that was needless because we didn't even end up going to the racetrack! It took so long to pick up our BBQ and pation furniture at Home Depot.. and then he and my dad put it together... that it was too late to go to the race track. So, all that arguing for nothing. But, he was very happy that we didn't go, but still very grumpy.

Just because it makes sense to you, doesn't mean it makes sense to HIM. LOL. They're men, they are big and dumb. Just don't make yourself so upset about something that is no big deal in the long run.

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Posted by kathrynlinton

Just because it makes sense to you, doesn't mean it makes sense to HIM. LOL. They're men, they are big and dumb. Just don't make yourself so upset about something that is no big deal in the long run.

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you got the big and dumb part right...

I just wish he was more easy going about things. I'm always up for anything and make the most of things. He's so difficult and aggravating.

You're not the only one. In most cases wedding planning is a girl thing. Details over little things is just not most guys cup of tea. Wedding planning is stressful. I've learned to do things on my own and accept it. It's less strain on me, him and the relationship. don't take it personal. Just go with your family. Forcing him will only make him bitter about the wedding. Take a deep breath and try to push the negative thoughts out of your mind.
You are not alone with this situation, form experience and from seeing others who got married before me it happens a lot.
XOXOXO
KItty

Well I am also very very annoyed at my fh...he had his bachelor party this weekend...spent three days in AC and do you think the jerk could have left today early enough so we could see each other beofre tomorrow...of course not...so annoyed...why dont they ever use their heads...

I know you ladies are just venting BUT believe me when I say that after the wedding all the fighting is gone

Your men arent heartless and uninterested in your day.....they are just focused on the IMPORTANT part.....the actual marriage!!!!

Chocolate fountains, flower appts, song lists.....Most guys dont care about that because it 's what STARTS fights between you two.


Its easier to see that once you are not in the heat of things like I am now