My FI is horrible at calling me...I am always calling him. He usually calls me on Friday or Saturday but the other days it does not matter how late it is he always waits for me to call him. So Monda,y I told myself that I wasn't going to call and see what he does. He ended up not calling me that night. So yesterday I call him at like 10pm and to say hi and he says 'sorry I didn't call but I was really busy working' It does not take that much time to pick up the phone and see how I am. I am so pissed because I feel like if I don't pick up the phone and call him then we would never speak. Again today, it is past 10pm and he I haven't heard from him. I am not calling him again today to see what he does. I mentioned this before and he says that it is just easier for me to call him. What can I do to make him change his phone habits>
woozshle
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Re: Really annoyed...Why won't he call?
I say don't call & if he doesn't start calling you, maybe there's a real problem. (I hope that isn't coming across really mean)
ChristineC68
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Re: Really annoyed...Why won't he call?
Does he know your feelings are hurt and that you feel like he should share the responsibility of communication in your relationship??
I hope he calls
hugs213
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Re: Really annoyed...Why won't he call?
Okay, I just called him five minutes ago. I wasn't going to but I wanted to tell him how I feel and I knew exactly what he was going to say. He said that with my crazy schedule (school on mondays and tuesday, hanging out with a girlfriend on wednesday, art class on thursday) that he just waits for me to finish my thing and call him when I'm ready. I have had this conversation with him more than once and he always says the same thing. I told him that it makes me feel that he is not thinking about me and to please try to be more aware of who is calling who more. He saidthat of course he thinks about me all the time and he loves me and he'll try to be more concious but I still thinks he doesn't understand. Pretty much he thought I am being ridiculous, without of course saying so.
SweetCin704
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Re: Really annoyed...Why won't he call?
I can totally sympathize with you b/c I've had the same conversation with my FH and he just does NOT get it. It drives me up the wall b/c the little things mean so much to me. How can they not possibly call us all day?! I mean no matter how busy we are or what we are stressed with or what is going on, we'll think to call them or tell them we miss them or could really use a hug, but guys apparently are not the same. It just drives me up the wall.
what's important is you told him how you feel and perhaps (don't count on it) he will make a conscious effort to change.
If not....hang in there...
Maribelle7777
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Re: Really annoyed...Why won't he call?
If you don't mind my 2 cents, it sounds like to me (and this is JMO) is that even if you're not done with whatever you're doing for the day/evening, you would still want to hear from him. He on the other hand would rather wait until you are done to call (like he said) - he probably figures that way he has your full attention.
If you explain to him that you don't mind if he calls you even if he thinks you're still hanging out with friends or working or doing whatever you do after work, and maybe he will call more.
But I don't think it has anything to do with being forgetful or anything like that.
larryswife2be
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Re: Really annoyed...Why won't he call?
There have been times when my FH hasn't called and I start fuming. Needless to say he's learned his lesson!
june262004
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Re: Really annoyed...Why won't he call?
Im sorry. I really cant relate cause my FH and I talk all the time We have been together for 8 and a half years and for 8 and a half years he has called me when he got home. He would leave my house at 2 am and call me when he got home in 5 mins. just to tell me he was safe. Im Glad you said something to him. You should also Mention that even with 'busy' schedules it only takes 1 minute to call and say hey im busy but everything is k and I love you.
Xelindrya
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Re: Really annoyed...Why won't he call?
Hrmm..
Both me and my DH are busy. Oddly enough it was the one thing we both appreciated. No extra clingy gotta call moments. We both have tendencies to work long hours outside our normal 9-5 schedule. Its been nice knowing that there’s no rush to go home.
Back when we didn’t live together he’d call every day or so, maybe. When I was home cause he was never allowed to have my work number. Then again, I should mention it took him over a month before he was allowed to have my home phone. Once he had my number, If he didn’t call I figured he was busy and just sorta did my own thing. Im a computer junkie and have online friends and play online games so it never really bothered me much. Back then I didn’t want him cramping my style. I went to the gym 3 times a week (back then) and had a life before I met him and wanted it to stay that way.
We actually called each other less when we started living together. Why bother I see him everyday. Then 9/11 happened. Not for nothing, but when he called me that morning to see where I was, I was shocked. He never calls me on his way to work. Who knew? This was before either of us knew it was an airplane. Needless to say we both learned a simple phone call is worth the time. Corny or not, you really don’t know when you’re gonna go.
Now we talk before I leave the office to find out when he’s picking me up from the train station. Other than that, no we don’t ‘call’ each other at all. But we do live together so we ‘catch up’ while making dinner or just while we get comfy and just laying around. Sometimes its only during commercial breaks from our favorite TV shows.
I think things may be easier for you when you guys live together. For now, I think you should definitely let him know that not calling is making you sad/mad. He should be considerate if it really means that much to you.
