really bad family problems, this is going to be very long, sorry

I am under a different name because I dont if anyone i know lurks on this site......

This is going to sound really confusing, but here it goes....

my fh sister has three children. her and her husband do not like to work, they havent worked for about 8 years or more. So fmil and ffil have paid their rent, clothes for the kids, toys for the kids, food, everything that they need for as long as I have been with fh and even a couple years before that. They are still doing it, and it is really pissing me off.

my ffil just got out of the hospital from having surgery from cancer. (they got it all out thank god) but ever since he has gotten out of the hospital last week she has not left him alone. she is really a piece of work this girl. I really can not stand her.

Anyway, 3 years ago, fmil and ffil, told me and fh that they were going to add on to the top of their house so we would save money until we saved up for our own house. they took out a second mortgage to do this. They spent all the money they had for us on my fh sister. So, again they took out more money for us to do the apartment, again spent it all on her and her kids. fh had $30,000.00 in the bank that he got when he was 8 from an accident. Ffil spent that money all on fh sister.

Now, fh sisters husbands grandma died last year in august. They are supposedly getting a couple hundred dollars that she left them. They keep saying they are getting this money and they are giving fmil and ffil half of what they get and when they get the money fmil and ffil are going to do the apartment. They are supposedly getting the money in 11 days. but, the thing is, for the last year they have been saying there getting this money next week, next month, monday, friday, etc.....

fh does not want to rent an apartment and we have been living with his parents for 7 years. I dont want to do this anymore. he keeps telling me to be patient and i have been patient with this for 3 years. I cant take it anymore. I have never in my life had stress like i get from this family. His parents are the nicest people in the world, but they keep believing they are getting this money, and fh just keeps telling me to wait, be patient.

I am getting married in 5 months and I do not want to be living in his parents house. I dont know what to do.



We dont even have fh money because they spent it on her.

sorry it was so long, I am just so upset and cry almost everyday because of this. I dont want to be in his parents house after the wedding and it looks like thats where i am going to be for a while, because his parents spent all the money for us on them.

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. I cannot believe that your FH's sister and her husband believe it is okay to mooch off of her parents for years. It doesn't sound like a healthy environment for your and your FH. I say move out on your own ASAP. If you are both working you can do it.

Good luck!

i wish I had something useful to say. your fsil and her hubby have it made, and as much as your fil's thought they were 'helping' they really did more harm than good.

the problem really lies with them in the sense that eventually they will have to wake up and see what is really going on, but then since they seem like such good people. they probably do it for their grandchildren.

the only thing I could think of is for you to cut your losses, rent an apartment and don't hold your breath for any $$. let you inlaws pay off their now exhorbitant debt and tell your lazy a$$ SIL to get a f-ing job and support her kids. this stuff makes me sick (and believe me I can relate)

I'd be willing to be that the money is NEVER coming and if it does, it won't be to your fil's, let alone to you guys.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Good luck.

That is such a difficult situation to be in and I'm sorry you have to go through this. I do think you need to get out of that environment right away and put some distance between you and your FH's family. Why did your FFIL give your FH's $$ to your FSIL? That makes no sense to me at all. They may be really nice people but if they are going to keep giving to one child over the other, including giving their son's money to their daughter, then why do you want to even be around them? I really think you and your FH need to get out asap. JMHO. Hang in there!

Sounds like you guys are going to have to bit the bullet and get an apt.

seem as thought you have no choice - and all his money is gone your not going to get it back - there going to keep sucking everyone dry

I done mean to be nasty -- and I am sorry that your so upset - but enought if enough .... your just going to have to rent -

Do you work? If you do and make enough money to pay rent and live away from the FILs, tell FH that you WILL NOT live with his parents when you are married and that you are getting an apartment to live in, he's free to join you if he wants. I don't think there's anything wrong with a woman not wanting to live with her husband's parents and he should understand that as a married couple you deserve your own space.

As for the money, unfortunately you're going to have to accept that you won't be seeing it ever. It's not fair of them to have given his money away like that, but it's already done, so all you can do is move on.

Good luck.

OMG I really don't know what to say! If that was my sibling sucking off my parents, I would talk 1) to my sibling and tell them to grow a conscience (esp. since my parents are getting older and need to finish paying their bills and save $$$ for retirement); and 2) to my parents to tell them that their good intentions are misguided and it will just end up screwing them and the siblings in the end.

Good luck. You definitely need to get out of there. It is just not a healthy situation - and I am sure that being around it will just cause resentment to build up (towards the FSIL/FBIL and towards the FILs).

You can't do this anymore. Get out, find a place to live even if it's a basement apt. Tell your FH that this is the way it has to be. If he goes with you, then you know where you stand. Your FH is not standing up to his family or his responsibilities to you.

I work and fh has his own landscaping business. we make good money and I just had a big fight with him on the phone about this. I told him I am tired of being patient and either his parents or him call for a mortgage to get this work on the house done or i am moving out. I am not going to be a married couple living in his parents basement when we are not poor. We make enough where we can rent an aprtment. I swear if nothing is done I am leaving. I will go back to my moms and look for an apartment of my own and if he wants to join me great, if not he can stay where the drama never stops because I really cant take anymore of this.

ffil does it for the grandchildren and I feel bad for the kids, but when is it going to stop???? fh and fmil always yell and tell him he made the situation worse. fmil made it bad too, but she is finally fed up.

If they dont stop, god forbid when fil's pass away, what are they going to do???? come to me and fh??? i will never give them ny of my money.

Fh flipped out on his sister. believe me when i tell you he hates her so much. There is so much lying, stealing and drama with her and her husband I can write a book and people probably woudnt believe it. the stuff they have done would make you sick.

Thank you all for listening and i am sorry for my rambling but i am really upset.

Unfortunately, life is not fair, you have to look out for your own well being and the most important thing to do is to get out of that house.
FH Sister is a moocher and they don't care about other people except themselves, they feel like they deserve it. And it must be so hard sitting there and seeing them get more and more money and not paying anyone back.
Get out of there, no matter how much it costs. It is better to be sane then to save money and be miserable.

Good luck

You are right you need to get out of there! I am sorry you are dealing with this but your FH should understand where you are coming from and want to separate himself from this living arrangement too.