Really disappointed...am I being ridiculous?

Ok, so FH is from Colombia and all his family is still there (mother, father, sister, brothers, nieces, nephews). When we started planning the wedding, I knew he wasn't going to invite any relatives except for his immediate family. I was disappointed that the party was going to be mostly my side, but I understood.

Then a few months later we found out that one of his brother and sister-in-law were pregnant and due right after the wedding, so she wouldn't be able to fly and neither of them would be able to make it.

Then a couple weeks after that he told me that his other brother probably couldn't come because it's his busy season at work.

And then tonight he told me that his sister, brother-in-law and their 4 kids won't be able to come because it's too expensive. Which I totally understand, BUT they're not coming to the wedding so that they can take a trip they had planned to California!

Am I being ridiculous that I'm upset that they'd choose CA over the wedding and being with family? I can't tell if I'm being too wedding-centric or not. I'm just so disappointed that the only people in FH's family who will be there are his parents.

Thanks for listening

No, I would be disappointed too. Im sorry

But just try to understand that Im sure that his family would love to be there, but it might be too expensive right now.

About the family going to CA.... had this trip been planned for a while? I know that if you change your airfare fight- they will end up losing money. Also, they might have had hotel booked and whatnot.... not saying its okay that they are going to CA, but they might have had stuff booked already. Im sorry you are going through this

I would totally be disapointed about the Cali thing. If this were a friend or coworker and a planned vacation for someone who isn't immediate family.. I totally understand. But for an immediate family member I don't understand at all. I think that's sad and selfish of them to do. Also, in my eyes the only ones with valid reasons for not being there is his sister in law and brother who are pregnant.
The rest is all not so nice to me. Sadly there isn't anything you can do about it.... but what is nice is he will be marrying into a family who will be there for him.
Also, if they really don't have the funds... I would suggest to offer them some money. But the Cali part puts a twist on it.
I'm always sad for someone when I hear a close family member isn't coming to the wedding. that's sooooo sad to me. Those are the people who are supposed to be there for you. After all isn't FAMILY supposed to be the most important?
I'm sorry for him. But there really isn't anything you can do about it.... just keep on going about things normally.... and have a great wedding with or without them.
Good Luck

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Posted by GAO

Good point. By planned, I just meant that they had been talking about going. Nothing's been booked.

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Oh wow, then if nothing has been booked...and they are planning it and NOT going to your wedding- I would be disappointed AND annoyed. Im so sorry you are going through this

I don't know ANYTHING about Columbia and the culture. But I know that my MOH lives in France and her boyfriend is shocked by the importance we put on weddings in America. Maybe its a difference in customs.

But I could be 100% off base.