Really need advice on how to include a deceased parent in invites

I have posted about this before but I am still having issues. I really really want to include my mom, who is deceased,on the invites. My heart is telling me to go with:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the honor of your prescence etc.........
I know the wording is awkward being that she is gone but I prefer this over 'in spirit' or 'the late' (not that there is anything wrong with those wordings). My mom, I know, would want to be included in the wedding as much as possible and I want to do my best to honor her prescence (in spirit). I know her own family would get a kick out of the wording (they are pretty spiritual). Is the wording just too awkward being that she is deceased or entirely inappropriate for the invites.? Any opinions?

It's your wedding, so you can do what you want.

Personally, I feel the words in spirit are better suited for the invitations though.

I **Think** I am going to do

yada yada yada yada

And
.... Gregg xxxx
son of Mrs. Rita XXX and the late Vincent


I don't know how I feel (or FH feels) about putting his father in the 'present-tense'

I included my dad who has passed on our invitation he raised me so he was the only parent on my side on the invite. ALso my MIL and FIL are divorced and remarried so we had a complicated situation.

It said something like:
Bride
And
Groom
Along with their parents,
Grooms mother
Grooms father
and the Late Allan __,
request the honour of blah blah blah.

I was concerned about the reaction we would get but everyone (especially my family) were really touched that we did this. They thought it was really beautiful. My dad is my hero, we were closer than most father/daughters...he had to be included!

My FH's mother is deceased and although i just got engaged, i have been thinking about the invites also. i may go with son of .......
but i need to talk to you about it in detail, although his father has since remarried and i am not sure what is pc about putting his stepmother on the invites or what his opinion is on that yet, i know there are hundreds of ways to word the invites, a girl on here told me that when you go to do the invites they give you examples of how to word the invites.

My fh father died and we wanted to include him on the invitation, but we were told it would not sound right bc how could someone request the honor of your presence if they are not here to request it??

Do what you want to do and what feels right..

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Posted by missmmpr

how could someone request the honor of your presence if they are not here to request it??

Do what you want to do and what feels right..

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This is a great point! One that we thought about before we did ours. That is why if you say daughter or son of the late ___, it is just saying that is your parent who is no longer with us...they are not exactly doing any inviting.

My dad passed away. This is what we are doing:

The honor of your presence is request at the marraige of

MLG

daughter of EG and the late JG

to

AM

Son of RM and SM

ETA: I tried every other way- this is really the only way (to say daughter of...) . Unfortunately, my dad isn't here to invite anyone to the wedding.

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Posted by shelly3950

My dad passed away. This is what we are doing:

The honor of your presence is request at the marraige of

MLG

daughter of EG and the late JG

to

AM

Son of RM and SM

ETA: I tried every other way- this is really the only way (to say daughter of...) . Unfortunately, my dad isn't here to invite anyone to the wedding.

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I agree the wording is tricky. I like that version. Sorry about your dad.

I think it's wonderful that you want to include it in your invitation. I'm going to a wedding soon and I remembered on the invitation that one of the parents was deceased and they worded so nicely. I will FM to you over the weekend because I don't have the invites with me. I'm not sure how pressed for time you are but please let me know via FM.

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Posted by jenifer99

my mother and my fiance's mother is deceased. my sister also died 2 years ago. i am sorry, but i think it is tacky to put the 'late' whomever on your invite. i got an invite like this and i almost died when i saw it! it's a celebration, not a funeral. there are alot of other ways to include the deceased in your wedding. instead of doing favors, donate money to an organization in their memory and put little cards on the tables. or you can get a memory unity candle to have at your dais. the candle says 'in loving memory of' ______ 'who are present in our hearts' sorry if i hurt your feelings in any way, but this is my honest opinion

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I am sorry for your losses. I am not offended, but I disagree. I don't think including my dad on my wedding invitation associates my wedding with a funeral. I think it is honoring him by showing that even though he is not physically here, he is in my heart. I could not include just my mom on the invitation as I am the daughter of two parents. I think it is wierd to have him 'host' the wedding (as in EG and the late JG invite you...) but to mention that i am his daughter, I think is perfectly acceptable. JMO.

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Posted by FrescaBride

I think it's wonderful that you want to include it in your invitation. I'm going to a wedding soon and I remembered on the invitation that one of the parents was deceased and they worded so nicely. I will FM to you over the weekend because I don't have the invites with me. I'm not sure how pressed for time you are but please let me know via FM.

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If you could FM me the way, that would be great!! Would love to see what they did. Thanks!!

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Posted by shelly3950

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Posted by jenifer99

my mother and my fiance's mother is deceased. my sister also died 2 years ago. i am sorry, but i think it is tacky to put the 'late' whomever on your invite. i got an invite like this and i almost died when i saw it! it's a celebration, not a funeral. there are alot of other ways to include the deceased in your wedding. instead of doing favors, donate money to an organization in their memory and put little cards on the tables. or you can get a memory unity candle to have at your dais. the candle says 'in loving memory of' ______ 'who are present in our hearts' sorry if i hurt your feelings in any way, but this is my honest opinion

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I am sorry for your losses. I am not offended, but I disagree. I don't think including my dad on my wedding invitation associates my wedding with a funeral. I think it is honoring him by showing that even though he is not physically here, he is in my heart. I could not include just my mom on the invitation as I am the daughter of two parents. I think it is wierd to have him 'host' the wedding (as in EG and the late JG invite you...) but to mention that i am his daughter, I think is perfectly acceptable. JMO.

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I totally agree; my thoughts exactly. This is why it is so important to include my mom because deceased or not she is still my parent.

One of my BM's SIL got married a few months ago. Her mom died a few months before that. I believe she worded her invite something like this:

In loving memory of Mrs. X
Mr. X
invite you to the marriage of
..............

Hi..

Our invitations will be worded like this..we were torn like you because we wanted to include his dad.. so this is what we decided

the honour of your presence is requested
at the marraige of
jennifer.... ,
daughter of mr and mrs mark...
to
lee....
son of mrs. roberta....
and the late mr. andrew phillip....
friday.. yada yada yada


-Jennifer

What a friend of mine did was:

Mr. So and so
with special memories of (mother's name)
requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of his daughter

nice way to remember her without sounding morose