Really need help from jewish brides

PazzaRagazza Posted: Jul 31, 2011 07:45 PM

Really need help from jewish brides

We are getting married on yom kippur--- obviously we are not jewish-- however we are inviting jewish guests. When we booked we didnt know it was yom kippur we booked because it is columbus day weekend,

Anyway-- FMIL wants us to put a handout in our invitations saying the following:

We would like to apologize to those of you who may be observing Yom Kippur the evening of our wedding. When booking the date we loved the idea that it was over a long weekend and we were looking forward to celebrating the entire time with all of our guests. It was only after we booked that we realized that Yom Kippur began on that evening. Our intention was never to offend or hurt anyone, nor did we ever intend for anyone to be excluded from our celebration, and we are truly sorry. Although your presence would delight us, we understand if you cannot make it and hope you accept our sincerest apologies.

quite frankly im embarrassed to put this in why should i have to appologize for my wedding.... but i'd really like to hear your input on this matter....

Thanks!!!!

Michi Posted: Jul 31, 2011 07:52 PM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

I actually think it is lovely that u may put that in ur invite. it shows respect and understanding for those guests who may not be able to attend and i think its nice ur acknolwedging it.. if u choose to include it of course.. u dont hafta put it in every invite? just those who are jewish i imagine..

dmbfan36 Posted: Jul 31, 2011 07:53 PM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

I don't know if I would put that in there. I wouldn't be offeneded or anything that this was the day you picked but I honestly would not be able to come to the wedding on that day. I am not very religious but this is the most religious Jewish holiday.

LMEL1223 Posted: Jul 31, 2011 08:12 PM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

I think it is a nice thing to do however I can see how you think it is embarrassing. Maybe just include it to the guest you know will be affected by it. Or just tell those guest in person or by phone that you didn't realize and you will miss them at your wedding but understand if they cannot attend.

HoosierCouple Posted: Jul 31, 2011 08:53 PM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

i do not think it is needed. i think if u have any close friends that are jewish i would prefer a personal email from you stating that rather than a notice on the wedding date. just my opinion...

jettahot Posted: Jul 31, 2011 09:12 PM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

You should not have to apologize for the date you and FH chose to get married. This is a high holy holiday in the Jewish religion, so chances are these guests may not come.
IMO, I dont think its necessary for you to put in an extra insert.
Are the Jewish guests invited very close friends or family?
I would maybe email or call people, depending on your relationship with these people.
This is my opinion. If it were me, Id prefer a more personal email or something.
The holiday always lands on a different date, so its hard to know when these holidays land.

HoosierCouple Posted: Jul 31, 2011 09:22 PM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

fyi lizzie i am shocked your RH did not tell you this was a holiday before booking! i know a lot of the places we looked at went through the holidays in the months we were looking at. especially considering your wedding is on LI--- you are bound to have some jews attend.

CaughtMyFish Posted: Jul 31, 2011 09:32 PM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

crashing!

I dont think you need to enclose the letter or apologize for selecting your wedding date. It is a high holy day, so MOST Jews wont attend your event, but that is not your fault. I am very non-religious and probably WOULD attend your event, but I am def in the minority.

LindsaylovesJustin Posted: Jul 31, 2011 10:17 PM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

Posted by dmbfan36

I don't know if I would put that in there. I wouldn't be offeneded or anything that this was the day you picked but I honestly would not be able to come to the wedding on that day. I am not very religious but this is the most religious Jewish holiday.

This - it is the holiest of all of the high holy days... I might find it better if I were a guest, if you made a personal phone call to apologize for the blunder.

Tomsbride Posted: Jul 31, 2011 11:07 PM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

Posted by HoosierCouple

fyi lizzie i am shocked your RH did not tell you this was a holiday before booking! i know a lot of the places we looked at went through the holidays in the months we were looking at. especially considering your wedding is on LI--- you are bound to have some jews attend.

This. I know I really wanted your date but all the halls were like 'fyi this is Yom Kippur.' I called my BFF who is who is Jewish. I was like 'Mich which holiday is this?' She said 'Um, this is the most important one where we don't eat but I guess I could pass on it for your wedding.' Obviously, I wasn't going to make her or the other guests do this

I don't think the note is necessary but would be nice to call people and say this to them.

NYtherapist Posted: Aug 01, 2011 12:13 AM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

I don't think any explanation is necessary. The fact that your wedding is on Yom Kippur isn't at all offensive.

sjr385 Posted: Aug 01, 2011 02:31 AM

.

nicole2011 Posted: Aug 01, 2011 07:25 AM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

If I were in your situation and you are personally close with the people that are Jewish, I would send an e-mail or call. It shows that you respect those who observe the holiday.

OR...

You can write something in just the one's who are Jewish. You can make up a nice little card and put it inside the invite.

I would def. do something though.

StephanieJoy Posted: Aug 01, 2011 07:57 AM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

Being Jewish i see it both ways. I think that you shoud put something in the invite.

Perhaps you can have a little open house to celebrate with the jewish friends that you are inviteing. I will be having an open house a few mths after my wedding sicnce there are so many people i did not invite being my guest list was to big.

bride2be2012 Posted: Aug 01, 2011 08:28 AM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

I wouldn't do it...I think most Jewish people would understand that since you are not Jewish, the holiday never entered your mind (nor should it have in your process) - don't worry about it!

Ellynrose Posted: Aug 01, 2011 09:42 AM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

I think guests around our age would understand. however, it is the holiest holiday of the Jewish religion. Someone like myself, would have to decline as I follow customary practices.

Older guests, might need the 'I'm sorry....', however, I don't think putting it in the invitations would be the best route. Calling and saying exactly what you want to write, would suffice.

Regardless, it really depends on how religious the person is. Many of my Jewish friends would go to your wedding, because they don't practice the religion.

Bree71584 Posted: Aug 01, 2011 10:31 AM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

we were in a similar situation and thought maybe we should put something in the invitations but we decided against it being that we're the day after and from what i heard from jewish friends is that yom kippur is really sundown to sundown and our ceremony isnt until 6pm with our cocktail hour starting at 8 (after sundown so they can break the fast at the cocktail hour). i understand if some choose to skip the ceremony or even the entire wedding due to the holiday. as someone else mentioned this is one of those holidays that the date changes every year. and when we went looking at venues we knew we wanted the 7th or the 8th and it was only at about the 10th hall we went to that a banquet manager mentioned the jewish holiday being that weekend, which left a bad taste in my mouth. these people have giant calendars on their desks and they still dont bother to say FYI that day is a religious holiday? it just proves most places are only concerned about getting you to sign not your best interest.

pjc92980 Posted: Aug 01, 2011 01:33 PM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

i def would not put it in all invitations, however as the other brides said, if you have close family or friends that are jewish i would def put a note or something in there just making them aware.

LKatz1029 Posted: Aug 03, 2011 06:49 PM

Re: Really need help from jewish brides

Im Jewish (not religious but FH's family and mine are).... I dont think an apology is necessary! If someone brings it up I'm sure you'll def apologize, and it's really sweet that you are so concerned with those guests... maybe send a separate little card to those you think may be upset if you want to send something at all? Def dont send it with your invites.