As some of you know, there was a huge fiasco with my brother and his wife in October. He literally said 'f*** the wedding' and physically attacked my Dad.
Lucky me, they have moved back to NY from Florida. I had not spoken to them since October until when they moved back 2 weeks ago. They will not address FH or my Dad, because I think they just feel foolish for what they did. I only speak to them when they ask me questions; they pretend to be all interested in the wedding and it makes me sick.
FH & I told my parents we do NOT want them in the BP, because really, why would we???? They have 2 sons in the BP, which I feel is complicating matters as well, because we can't just cut the entire family off!
I just came home and found out that earlier my brother and sister in law asked when they had to order their tux and dress. WTefF?????? And my mom told them 'the dress soon and the tux not for awhile.' WTefF AGAIN???
What do I do? Just have them be in it which I really don't want and I know is going to cause a fight w/ FH? Help
ETA: Normally I don't have a problem telling people the truth. HOWEVER, my brother has some serious and dangerous rage issues, and honestly, I'm scared of what he'll do if I just lay it all out there.
RitasEngaged
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
if you dont want them to be in the BP than you just need to tell tehm
JAAMS
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
Posted by RitasEngaged
if you dont want them to be in the BP than you just need to tell tehm
Normally I wouldn't be afraid to just say something; however, my brother has really bad rage issues and honestly I'm afraid of him going after someone if I say it.
RitasEngaged
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
Posted by JAAMS
Posted by RitasEngaged
if you dont want them to be in the BP than you just need to tell tehm
Normally I wouldn't be afraid to just say something; however, my brother has really bad rage issues and honestly I'm afraid of him going after someone if I say it.
so do it over the phone
summerbride20
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
Yeah, I would be more upset with your mom for saying what she did then for your brother asking or assuming he was in the BP. If you don't want them in, nicely explain why you don't and don't let your mom convince you or them otherwise.
KM714
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
if you decide to tell them (which i think you should since you will never be satisfied that they are winning this battle), tell them around people in a public place.
then task them with something else, like a reading maybe? if they give you crap, bring up October and say your mind is made up on this one.
StaceyWill
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
That IS tough, but if you feel that strongly about them not being in the BP, you have to tell them. I hope it all works out
grkbarbie
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
dont say ANYTHING. your wedding isnt until Novemeber. let them settle in NY again... see how everythign works out. You NEVER know. things might be great. If shyt hits the fan again, then thats the perfect time for you to address this issue. Until then, dont say anything.
AwaitingAugust
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
Posted by grkbarbie
dont say ANYTHING. your wedding isnt until Novemeber. let them settle in NY again... see how everythign works out. You NEVER know. things might be great. If shyt hits the fan again, then thats the perfect time for you to address this issue. Until then, dont say anything.
i like this idea so i'll agree
Ray8183
Posted:
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
Posted by grkbarbie
dont say ANYTHING. your wedding isnt until Novemeber. let them settle in NY again... see how everythign works out. You NEVER know. things might be great. If shyt hits the fan again, then thats the perfect time for you to address this issue. Until then, dont say anything.
ITA
Diana12
Posted:
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
Posted by grkbarbie
dont say ANYTHING. your wedding isnt until Novemeber. let them settle in NY again... see how everythign works out. You NEVER know. things might be great. If shyt hits the fan again, then thats the perfect time for you to address this issue. Until then, dont say anything.
I agree
cateydee
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
cant you appeal to his wife and talk it out with her? or does she have rage issues as well?
runnerbride1023
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
can you tell your brother you'd like him to apologize for everything that happened in the past and see how it goes from there? Maybe he realizes he was wrong.
grrulz
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Re: really tough situation...long but please help
you need to be completely honest with them!!! its better than the day of your wedding you are not pleased with them dont' let anyone ruin it!
